ME TOO

While we’re at it, #metoo

If you’ve missed the news this past week or lived under a rock then that won’t make too much sense, so I’ll give you a quick refresher.

One of Hollywood’s top producers has been accused by over 40 women of sexual abuse or harassment. Just google it. It’s all over the Internet. All over. 

The trouble is, it’s not just Hollywood. It’s not just big time producers, big wigs, or CEOS. It’s small towns. It’s in the backyard at your best friend’s home. 

IT IS EVERYWHERE and sadly it is every single day. 

The #metoo movement started to show just how many people have been affected in some way, shape, or form. It’s pretty scary to know just how many victims there are. I’ve been pretty reluctant to write this. I can count on one hand how many people I’ve ever told. A therapist I saw a couple of years back being one of them. Between Twitter, Facebook and Instagram I just couldn’t escape it. It’s everywhere and as much as I know it’s in the past, it was rearing it’s ugly head and all I knew to do was to speak up. I didn’t want to at first. But after lots of tears shed this past week, I figured it was time. It won’t stop this person from hurting others, but this movement is making some noise. Hopefully, it changes lives too. 

I wasn’t sure what I was looking for in even writing anything. Definitely not pity, but more of an awareness. 18 years is long overdue for charges to be filed, but it doesn’t mean it never happened. 

I wasn’t sure my story was as bad as so many others that have spoken out but it’s my story. It happened. It shouldn’t have. It is illegal every single way you look at it. 

It began after the summer of my 6th grade year. This man, who my family trusted dearly, would (to put it lightly) play with himself in front of me. Believe me, I was mortified too. I’m getting sick just trying to write it. I didn’t know what to do or what to say. 

It happened over SEVERAL occasions and I remember them all very vividly.

I really wish I didn’t.

I really wish I would’ve spoken up sooner. 

I wish I wouldn’t have been afraid to get anyone in trouble. 

I really wish that it never had happened.

I wish that it didn’t play a part in molding my childhood and my teenage years. 

And I so wish I was the only one, but I wasn’t. 

I wasn’t sure if I should even relive the past I try to think about so little. A past that I have healed from. I don’t blame those who won’t post. It’s definitely not for everyone. Talking about this in the small town I grew up in would be so taboo. I’m not looking to name names or delve into this story anymore than I have, but please know that it happens. And it’s not just to celebrities. It’s to those around you. 

We HAVE to be more aware of our loved ones, we HAVE to ask questions, we HAVE to be mindful, and we can not doubt.

And we HAVE to always speak up. ❤️

Hello THIRTY.

As my twenties come to a close it's only natural to reflect on the last ten years. So cliche, right? I would reflect on the years before that but my twenties have enough memories to go around. Then around again. They also say your thirties are some of the best years of your life. Another super cliche, am I right? I hope they're right, I think they are too. My twenties served for some great times, great memories, major milestones. And some not so pretty times too. I'll try to recap but I'm not really sure where to begin.

It took every ounce of energy and emotion I could muster up to finish nursing school. It was exhausting moving 5 times post college until I bought my house. (Insert laugh, considering I'm currently a nomad again). Relationships and friendships came and gone. I'm okay with that. I became an aunt X 5 and dog mom X 2. I'm equally obsessed with all 7. Ehh... the two furry ones have been testing their limits lately, but I love them nonetheless. Alabama served as a great home for 27 years and holds a special place in my heart but it became so routine. As much as Birmingham was growing, I was not. Not for the better anyways. Everything around me was changing. Except me. So I did what any rational twenty something would do. That's where the traveling comes in, but you already knew that.

I learned a lot in my twenties, but I think what I learned the most is that life really does go on. Despite feeling that every time something falls apart, you have to hash it all out and desperately try to put the broken pieces back where they were. As hard as I tried though, I could never put those pieces back together and life went on whether I wanted it to or not. Luckily enough. I learned that I'm way more independent than I could've ever imagined (insert bicep curl emoji) and I am stronger too. At times, I'm emotionally unstable for reasons I like to push far away but I've learned that keeping those emotions in check is a far more healthy lifestyle. I think my twenties were challenging. I think they were wonderful. I think they sucked. It really just depends on which year we are talking about. Not to be a drag, but becoming an adult brings its own challenges. Bills have to be paid. The grass has to be cut. There are no brothers around to take out the garbage or sister to do your laundry. The dogs have to be fed. My hair has be washed. Life gets tough. I wouldn't trade it though.

Twenty nine was a really cool year. And I can say that with all the confidence in the world. It started in California, took me all over the world with great friends, then landed me in Las Vegas (still wrapping my brain around that one). I bought a car. I moved out of my little white house and moved my life into a medium size storage unit that is filled to the max. Who knew how much one could accumulate in a short 29 years? Most don't know, but I decided to stick around in Vegas longer than my typical 3 month contract. For now at least. Why? Because I can, because home will always be there and while I can, I'd like to take in all that I can. Sometimes I  make good decisions and sometimes I make really crazy ones. No matter what though, I'm making them for me first. Adulting is cool like that.

If I were back home, I'd already be 30. See, Vegas does have its perks. Ha. I'm pretty excited to start this new decade, this new chapter. So here's to 29 years down. Hello 30.