Monday, August 24, 2015

Living & Learning

You live and learn.
High school was a world wind of planning the Friday pep rallies, figuring out my weekend plans, and never studying, because high school was the easiest. The school part at least. If I could tell my 17 year old self one thing, it'd be to hang onto that friendship a little harder and worry about life a whole lot less. Fitting in will be a thing of the past in a few short years. Tell people how you feel, include them. Love life. 
You live and you learn they say. 
College is a blur of too many nights out, one too many broken relationships, bad decisions, not enough studying, and some of the best memories a girl could ever have. If I could tell that girl anything it would be let go, move on, because you aren't marrying that one either, study harder, and take absolutely nothing for granted. It will be over in a flash. Your life will change, friends will move away, and who you thought you would be with forever is a mere joke at this point. 
You really do live and learn.
Working as nurse isn't nearly what it's talked up to be. It's long days, countless heartbreaks and the stress of someone else's life weighing on your heart daily. It's new friendships, new relationships, terrible consequences, and just a few more regrets. If I could tell that almost woman anything, it'd be don't do it. Ha. 
You live and you learn is what I've come to know.
If it weren't for that mishap in HS I wouldn't have met my most favorite college roommates. I wouldn't have had the most fun 4 next years ever and I sure wouldn't have failed out of nursing school only to still get to graduate with my best friend. 
If it weren't for those decisions I wouldn't have met someone new and started a job where I thought I'd stay forever. If it weren't for that wake up call March 21 that sent my world into another tail spin, I wouldn't have transferred for another fresh start and I wouldn't have the cutest house in my favorite town. I say all of that to say, I would've never made the decision to travel if my world played out as I had planned and you learn that if it were to have played out that way... You'd be miserable, or divorced or living a lie that you so desperately needed out of. 
I have lived and I have learned. 
I have learned that I am terrible at stress. I over analyze way too often. I worry way too much what everyone else thinks. I absolutely hate confrontation and having someone else mad at me could literally drive me mad. Usually at least. However, I have also learned that it's okay to feel these things as long as I keep it all in check. Stress is inevitable, but turning it down a few notches is absolutely necessary and needed in my case. Some days being grateful for this life is harder than I wish it to be but I am so thankful I'm not where I could be. I have this future that is so far up in the air that gives me the biggest smile. I get to travel the world, I get to meet new people, I get to create new experiences with people who aren't any bit concerned with a past that I try so often to forget. I am thankful I am living the life God has planned for me and He has the greatest things in store. I live, I learn and I have so much more to live and to learn. It's a new chapter that I look forward to writing about. 23 days until the big move. 

Tuesday, August 11, 2015

The White House updates

I know, I know. Updating this little white house while trying to start a new life path probably wasn't the most rational decision, but it couldn't have turned out better. The color is the same we used in the den. What started out as mustard yellow is now Gray Screen by Sherman Williams, two coats did the trick. For everything else, my roommate and I knocked that out one afternoon with a few quick stops to World Market and Target. So many people have helped and continue to help do that, so thank you. The roommate and I were pretty pleased with the results. No matter the state I end up working in, I love that I'll always get to call this place home. 

this last picture is the before. 

Monday, August 10, 2015

Officially official.

This past Monday my recruiter and I started sending in my files to different hospitals. In other words, I was applying to my future jobs! I'm impatient to say the least. I get frustrated. I want things to happen in an instant. I am a nurse by day, aunt to the 4 coolest kids under 7, dog mom to 2, but my patience just hasn't grown with any of these things. I learned a long time ago it was a virtue, not to pray for it because it will be tried in the most horrendous ways, and I will be the first to admit I struggle with it. So a few days after these submissions, I was over it. It was similar to the house buying stepdad/relator said some people looked at hundreds of homes, I assured him that wouldn't be the case with me. My recruiter said it would happen, we just had to wait. My original plan was to head south to Florida. Plans change, and for the first time I was okay with that. Florida didn't have what I was I looking for. By Friday, I decided it wasn't a battle for me to worry about. Checking my phone for possible calls, and refreshing my emails from my recruiter was driving me crazy. I asked God to handle it and He did! My devotional for that day was pretty on point as well. I forget to read it some days but I'm so glad I made time for it this particular morning. I had not 1 but 2 different hospitals call, in the middle of a procedure of course. Usually, I would track someone down and return it immediately. 1. Our Friday was far too crazy for this and 2. I just prayed that God would handle it and hoped I had enough patience to wait until the end of the day. I say all of this to say whatever will be, will really be. God has a plan for us. If I were to have called right back then or in 4 hours, the outcome wasn't going to change. If these hospitals weren't for me I would be okay with that. I don't want to go anywhere just to go, I want to be excited for it. AND I AM EXCITED FOR IT. In a little over a month I'm heading to Texas. I'll be south of Houston. I am anxious, excited, but so grateful that I have this opportunity to travel around the country with my job. I think we are quick to laugh off people's dreams. I've committed the crime more times than I would like to admit. At this point I couldn't imagine sitting with my future family, telling them what I wish I would've done. I know I have almost settled for that life a few times now, but thankfully God stepped in and showed out. Even if we try and don't like it, at least we know we've tried. The countdown is officially on friends! My mom and I will be making the 9+ hour drive in a little over a month. 

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