Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Recent Photo + Blog Title = Day One

here is a recent photo. (I accidentally deleted the other one, and I am not on my computer to get. it. I was at the beach, but this night we were not

at mikee's. a beloved stop on our annual family beach trip.

now, about my blog title, and if you noticed, it has changed. really it has changed because i like the font and how it all looks. but it was hard deciding between the two. so if you look under my about me tab, then you will find the other title. PROBLEM SOLVED. anyways,"L is for Lindsey" was my first myspace name. i really have no idea where it came from, but sometimes my brain just has little quirks of goofiness. And that quick little brain freeze is where it came from. i have blogged in the past about being just a little girl, lost in the moment. that is still so true. i take my days as they come, i take the moments as they are handed to me, and count my blessings as often as i can. but on the flip side, i am still finding my way, paving my path, and doing tons of soul searching along the way.

30 days of FUN-NESS

I was doing my daily blog stalking reading, and I found a pretty snazzy 30 day challenge. It gives you 30 prompts, for 30 days. Simple as that. Sure, I will still blog about my day to day, fun filled life of being a 4th semester nursing student. This just adds to the fun. And I love fun.

Compliments of...

a hospital cafeteria.

and let's not fool ourselves... I scraped down every last bite!

***this wasn't the actual piece, probably a little too small for the one I actually consumed. but I accidentally deleted it off of my phone.

Monday, August 30, 2010

Lula on the left & Stella on the right

This morning I took both my girls out 2x. Stella did what she was supposed to as always. Lula, on other hand, doesn't like the rain, barely walks in the grass, and is miss priss all together. Hello rain, thanks for coming today. So today, Lula was forced to sit in the wet grass while she stared at me with her glare like "MOM seriously!" So we sat, and sat, and sat!!! Nothing. Well, I had to get to class, so I put them up and I was on my way to school.

This afternoon, I took them both out again. And again in the rain. Stella went right out and did her business. Lula still testing my tolerance was a no go. So 3 tries, one scared neighbor, and one wet dog later, she TEES! Hallelujah!

So my nerves are calm, I am blogging, life is okay. Until I look up and Stella is munching on something, and what is it you ask? Her POOP!! I throw lay the computer down and pounce on top of her, but not before she takes off under the bed. So my tolerance has just dropped a few more points. I get it all cleaned up and decide to run my one errand for the day.

I have already made this one errand to this school I do not attend, or would not last long if I did attend. Thanks to the awesome poor communication skills of the work study who has graced me with her presence today. She so rudely told me to come back because the adviser was at going to lunch then even so more rudely waved Bye before I could get my questions out.

So I was going back, and the girls love car rides. Lu jumped right in. Stella, who is normally right behind her, not so much. So I went to pick her up and she took off into the WET bushes. Did I forget to mention, Stella got her first bath yesterday, so the smell of wet dog is not so appealing. Not at all, so let's add that smell to the fresh poop on her breath. So I dried her up and put her up, she lost her car ride privileges for the day.

And back on the dreaded errand I go.

I get it, my girls are just dogs, and these aren't worries or stressors, just funny things that happen to test my patience. Life is still good, after I take a few deep breaths to calm my nerves. :)

one two three FOUR

I think being in school one week is plenty time to update everyone on 4th semester! But hey, do you know what that means? Everybody look to your right... You see it? Yes the countdown is counting away, the numbers are getting smaller as we sit here together. I could sit and watch this forever. But I would probably go crazy, even more crazy than I already am,
because that is for sure possible.

See I have been taking my life day by day, I dream about the future all the time, but quickly remind myself if I want to get there then I must focus on today. Because today, in this very moment, is all we have. Gah, I say that a lot. But it is beyond the truth. I also have been praying constantly. And I feel like when I don't, that mean ole devil sticks his nasty nose in my business. Really?? I don't have time for you, so long! Also, I am trying to work out, but right now that consists of playing tennis. I sweat profusely, my heart is pounding, so I think I can consider it a pretty good workout. Just have to keep it up! I laugh off the negativity, and take a deep breath before I say something I might regret. Right now, my priority is school, and I will figure the rest out may 11th. ***Yes jessica that is your birthday, but also the day after I graduate! I will probably still be crying tears of happiness for your big day! Okay, back to today! See, there I go, but I am back.

So, let's talk about 4th semester.
The one after the easy smeasy 3rd semester,
and the one right before the ever so anticipated,
don't stop until you drop,
5th semester.

We go to class one day a week.
Pros: hello, class once a week!
Cons: more time for me to do anything but school,
because the motivation is at an all time low. My first test is not for a whole month. I mean, seriously, what am I supposed to do? Not to mention, clinicals don't start until October. I know I have it made this semester, it is just a matter on staying on top of my game,
and not looking back.

On more nursing news, this morning we had a meet and greet breakfast with the newbies. You know, those new RN students, who are secretly shaking in their brand new back to school shoes, but really have NO idea what their lives are about to come to. Gear up for the change people, because it will hit you whether you are ready or not. So today we met them, and for once I was not the new fish. I was, I am an upper division nursing student. My advice: make note cards. Seriously, that is the key if you are a note card person. But secretly, I am so thankful that I have finally made it to the other side. I could cry I am so happy, but ill save the tears. Who knows what is heading my way.

Sunday, August 29, 2010

Sunday Funday

for the past 4 or 5 sundays, a group of some of my buddies and I get together, cook dinner, watch some tv, and just hang out.
it is our
sunday funday
this week we had grilled chicken and some mac n cheese.

sweet new edits.

this one is pretty self explanatory.
i liked this one's color.
and this one is pretty retro.
this one just has a shadow underneath it... i thought it was cool.

*** this is the new editor on picasa. i have been obsessing over it for a little while now.

Saturday, August 28, 2010

crisis averted

blackboard. no not a nice old fashion green blackboard. It is actually this handy dandy website that is the foundation/backbone to our school, so therefore, my LIFE. Some schools might use something a little different, so just know this is where the teachers post assignments, updates, announcements.... etc. This is also the site that I dread looking at, and ending up not looking at it as much as should. I get my notes, most of the announcements, and some of the updates. I figure, if it is that important they will tell me in class, right???


This week I missed a fairly big announcement, and missed a pretty important orientation. I do take full responsibility, although I think it would be nice if we would have found out in class. But like I said, it was TOTALLY my fault. Nonetheless, I found out a few hours too late, freaked out, emailed the teacher, and cried myself to sleep. Hello, this is my life, and one wrong move, one missed day could cost me this future. It really is that big of deal.

Not too worry though. I can make up the orientation, and all will be just fine.

***and yes, I will check my blackboard everyday from here on out.
don't you worry.

Thursday, August 26, 2010

favorite thing about today #12

my favorite thing about today is...
that I am going bowling tonight. I haven't been in a while.
So I am sure my skills are
But I can't wait.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Just one more


...and really it is just the pictures.
Isn't that what you folks want to see anyways??
Here you go.

***michele found that silver dollar. how awesome?

favorite thing about today # 11

my favorite thing about today was...

finally uploading my beach pictures.
and just check out all of these awesome cheeses.

Saturday, August 21, 2010

The Beach in a Nut SeaShell

I don't even know where to begin. I tried to soak up as much as I can because the days seemed to fly by. The weather wasn't always so beautiful, but I atleast I got to relax in the sand every day that I was down there.
Let's see...
We drove down saturday & we ALWAYS just order in some pizza. And I mean as long as I can remember, the first night is pizza night. NO EXCEPTIONS.

For starters I read 2.5 books. I haven't quite finished my third one yet. But here was an awesome quote from "Sleeping Beauty Proposal" ***its the first full paragraph you can see!

Of course, we ate a TON of seafood!!
We built sand castles. *** Ryleigh was so excited.
And we even hung out by the pool some, too.
Not to mention, we put our toes in the ocean. ****and boy did Will love it.
and took a ton of pictures *** but I had to borrow these from my sister, hopefully I will upload my own very soon!

And then we came home, my least favorite part of the trip. Not because I'm leaving the beach, which is sad, but because I just don't like sitting in the car....waiting to be back home.

So now we are home. Back to the grind of school, work, hanging with my little girl, and no life. FOURTH SEMESTER STARTED TODAY!!

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Eat, Pray, Love

is pretty much my favorite book thus far, and I am only 20 pages in. Yes, just pages. I'm on my 3rd book of the week. So far, this is by far one of favorites. Top 3 for sure. I feel like EG is writing to me, and not some swanky book editor sitting in a high back leather chair, overlooking some big city, on the top floor of course. I feel like its just her and I, girl talk. And I love it, it sucks me right in. I already feel a deep connection between Liz and I, we are at crucial points in our lives, searching for a way out. I'm still at the beginning so I haven't read how she made it out quite yet. And I haven't written that chapter in my life either. I'm still at a moment where the future is hazy, but I have a blank sheet of paper, my favorite pen, and I'm in a writing mood. What I imagine is brighter than ever. Maybe that is the sun in my eyes right now, but I am 100% positive, my future is just as stunning. A little cloudy at times, but I know what hides underneath it all. My out. Maybe I will share those dreams one day, but for now, I am in my day by day thinking/processing, just making little mental notes as I go along.

As for the other books I have read, beneath the drama filled pages of exquisite adjectives before every noun, there underlies great messages.

Heart of the Matter by the amazing Emily Giffin is a story of forgiveness, letting go, and trusting what's in your heart. But most of all, forgiveness. Because if you can't forgive, you can't move forward with your own life. So even if the greatest mistake imaginable is made, you must forgive, and move forward. Afterall, it really is the only choice you have, unless you want to sit and sulk, and constantly ask yourself, why? Hold your head high, gather up all the pieces, make a few changes, dig down really deep, and forgive, let it go.

Now, Sleeping Beauty Proposal, which I just might of chosen because of the title, was pretty awesome as well. It is a brilliant story of taking risks, letting go, and never looking back. Everyone should try it out every now and then. You never know what awesome things might come from those risks, even if everyone thinks you're a little cooky in the process. Revenge is sweet my friend. Just take a risk, and jump!

As for the beach, it is amazing as always. My toes and the sand have practically become BFF's. Ill update with pictures when I get home.

picture by daniel***

Monday, August 16, 2010

You can't always get what you want...

But if you try real hard, you'll get what you need.

Let's point out the important words to look for.

ALWAYS. Number one, never trust that word. Ever. Atleast that is what our teachers teach us, hoard at us, drill that into our brain. If we see that in an answer to a question, DO NOT choose it, keep on looking. Nothing in nursing can be as certain as to slap an ALWAYS on top of it. You will most certainly get that question WRONG.

WANT. That word is like the back bone to our being. We want want want. We can never have enough, its a constant battle. We are never satisfied, because there is always something, someone that is better than what we have and who we are or what we can whole heartedly give. We are never enough, never give enough, never have enough, never show enough.

TRY. Most people just expect life to happen. For everything that they always wanted to be handed to them. Just like that. No hard work, elbow grease needed. Just here you go. Here is everything you always wanted handed on a silver platter. Hope you enjoy. But maybe, just maybe if you TRIED a little harder, put a little effort into it, you yourself could get what you wanted for yourself. How much of a satisfaction would or could that bring? A LOT, if you ask me. A little effort sure could go a long way. You just have to want it, right? There is that want again. We always want what we can't have. It is that never ending battle. But maybe if we were the one's pursuing that want, and not someone else handing it to us, then the let down wouldn't be so bad. We wouldn't be disappointed in someone who couldn't pull through for us. It would just make us work that much harder for what we wanted, and we would just get it for ourselves. But we surely still aren't satisfied. GEEZ, I feel like I am running in circles here. I probably am. Almost dizzy, not quite though.

NEED. We always seem to want. But what about what we need? You know, those basics. Like air, water, food, shelter, clothing. I think if we focused on our needs we wouldn't be so let down with what we don't have. We could solely concentrate on things we need, and our lives would or could be almost fulfilled. NOT EVEN CLOSE. Wanting something is so much better, gives this high we get on Christmas morning before we tear open our neatly wrapped in matching wrapping paper with ribbons ever so intertwined so beautifully presents. I can see them now... Hm, maybe I should start my list now. What do I want, better yet need? If I looked at it like that, the list would surely be slim because I can't think of too many things that I really need. Maybe a new phone, because this broke down crackberry is messing with my last whit. But hey, it is working. It calls, it texts, it tweets, it facebooks, it freezes everyday x10 but it works against all my well wishes to politely run over it. So I guess I don't need a new phone. But I do want one.

Its a constant push and pull. want vs need. But maybe if we put in just a little effort and try with the things that we already have, that we worked so hard to get, because we wanted them, always wanted them more than we could even put into words, just try. Then maybe we wouldn't want so much. But life just isn't that simple. There is always something better. Or maybe not. I just don't trust ALWAYS. Too much of a promise, and the let down hurts really bad.

Friday, August 13, 2010

a little of this, A LOT of that.

I don't know what has gotten into me. I used to love to pack. I would pack a good week in advance, have lists of everything I needed to pack, then check off those lists. Well not today, I think I just grabbed everything I thought I might would wear, and threw it in some bags. I did, however, manage to get a new swimsuit, and these FOUR new books that I CANNOT wait to read! Maybe I will do a little book report on each! Ha. No seriously, I think the exhaustion and lack of sleep has gotten to me. So off to bed I go, because I am going to the beach tomorrow! HAPPY WEEKEND!

So Long, Farewell

chaos, cramming, and mental health
(not my mental health, but the actual class...almost though).

FOURTH SEMESTER, more chaos, more cramming,
and the beach TOMORROW before it all begins again.

Surprisingly, we nursing students love the thought of starting
a new semester, because it is

I ended my third semester
with a
which is GLORIOUS.

And I got to spend the day with my favorite
little 2 year old
who is going to be BIG SISTER
in April!

we painted eachother's toes...i know...TOO CUTE!!

favorite thing about today #10

my favorite thing about today is...

hanging with this little squirt, putting her RN skills to the test. looking good to me!


I am all about not liking odd numbers. Just think about it. They cannot be divided directly in half so they are always off balance. And that is how they make me feel. Nervous, shaky, and off balance. I don't really consider it that big of deal because it does not interfere with my everyday well being. However, if I have the choice I will choose against them. For example, freshman year chemistry class our seats were numbered. I would never sit on an odd number. I would always be sure to move a seat over. Especially on tests days. Nonetheless, some days I don't have a choice. Like in nursing school. The teachers number the exams (to make sure everyone has turned theirs back in). You must understand the sigh of relief I feel when I am handed a beloved even number. Then there are those tests when they hand me a dreaded odd number on my exam. I always look as soon as I receive my test. Bad habit. It has definitely crossed my mind to be like, "hey, I can't use this test! Are you kidding me?" But I refrain, I suck it up, and try to look past it. With all of that being said, you can understand the traumatic experience I am dealing with today. Of all days. Friday the 13th. The oddest number of them all, on the day of a final. Sucking it up as we speak. Laughing off my quirky requests and faults. I've dealt with the odds before. I can do this.

Fast forward one mental meltdown, one final, one hour (bc I am a fast test taker), 100 questions in booklet numbered 62. Atleast I have the evens on my side today.

I can't, however, fast forward to tomorrow morning, when grades will be posted, and I am on my way to the sandy beaches of alabama. How I long to enjoy and look forward to my toes in the sand. But that excitement is so far suppressed in my heart and brain that I hope it comes out before I have to come back home. Deep breath.

Just another day in the life of an
over stressed, over analyzer, no time for fun, nursing student.
Good bye semester 3.
You will not be missed.

Thursday, August 12, 2010

favorite thing about today #9

my favorite thing about today is...
being able to announce the most wonderful news ever...
my brother in law and sister are expecting number 2. meaning I will have ANOTHER niece/nephew. I couldn't believe it when I heard it, but I am so excited. I can hardly stand it. The love I have for my niece and nephew now is indescribable, so to share more of that love is AWESOME. I just can't wait, but I will have to wait until to APRIL! I think I should start another countdown!! :)

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

favorite thing about today #8

my favorite thing about today was...
eating at this awesome, little hole in the wall, but if you visit tuscaloosa you must eat here atleast once, kinda place.
good food
good memories
GREAT friends.

Free Fallin'

Right when you think you are about to hit the bottom, someone is there to catch you. Because you don't see it coming, you're expecting the worse, hoping for the best, then the more then worse slaps you right across the face. But right before you have time to break down and cry because it hurt so darn bad, those you love the most are right there cheering you on and watching your back. They will never let you fall. And if you do, they are running to your side to pick you back up.

And right when you think the bad news can only get worse, you hear the greatest news ever and all the bad stuff seems to disappear. Maybe not disappear, but it is just not as important as you thought it should be. Because the news makes you realize that there are far more important things in this world, and we need to let go of the stress every now and then.

That good/AWESOME news I was talking about is hiding right beneath this picture. Too bad, I can't/won't blog about it for a little while now.

Happy Wednesday!

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

an excerpt.

I often wonder about how things would have been so different if I would have said no that day. If I would have put my freshman college brain aside and just went with what I knew deep down to be the best thing ever.

Now I often wonder if I will ever find anything so lovely, so exhilarating, so refreshing. I hear the quote all the time, if you love something, let it go, if it is meant to be, it will come back to you. Or it says something like that.

Well it hasn't come back, because I made every mistake imaginable, crossed every line, said every hurtful thing, and dug a hole so deep that even my cries can't be heard from the bottom. So does that saying still go into effect? Maybe so. Or maybe not. Or just maybe I will never know. And that's what hurts the most.

We aren't in some chick flick movie, where we run to each other at the very end, everything is perfect, and you flash forward to our dream wedding. No it doesn't work like that in real life. People's emotion are real, more than real, and shouldn't be messed with. Not even close. So I will let that love go. And only wish for it amazing things. I will always wonder what could have been, although I stole that "get out of jail free card" along time ago.

But on the flip side. Maybe I let it go, because deep down I knew it was the best thing for me at that time. Maybe all those things were said and done and brought me to who I am today. And maybe, just maybe I made the right decision.

Because like the quote said, if it is meant to be it will be. So I will not continue to wonder what if. Because I made a decision, stuck by the decision, and continued to live life based on that decision.

One day I know I will find something more awesome, more refreshing, and better than great. I know that although people say fairytales aren't real, my fairytale will happen. Because I believe in them. Because I know it will happen. And I am ready.

Monday, August 9, 2010

favorite thing about today #7

my favorite thing about today, but really it was Friday, was...
my sweet little honey do asked me, "sissy, what's that?" after I informed her that I had painted my nails, she insisted I do hers too. I was going to just do her toes, but she in fact wanted her nails done too! she sat so very still, and loved showing them off. i love my bug so much.

Monday Mayhem

I will give you a quick glimpse into my not so fun, but can't wait until it is over with, holy crap I have 2 tests, WEEK.
Monday: class, lunch with dad......[insert nap here] STUDY let's also insert lost checkcard, and forgotten keys at lunch. in my super sarcastic tone: YAY FOR MONDAY!
Tuesday: STUDY all day
Wednesday: test 4 that I have had very little time to prepare for.
Thursday: STUDY all day
Friday: FINAL on stuff that got taken from my memory bank weeks ago!! Ill be on a major hunt Thursday to find all of the information. I have too many nursing file cabinets in my brain, with no time to organize!
Friday after the final: PACK, wash clothes, clean my room... I hate leaving and going on vacay, then coming home to a yuck room. So it must be done because Saturday I am leaving for the beach!! I am so excited. Well if you search far enough in my brain you will find the excitement. Right now, holding steady in the front is school, the beach is underneath all the chaos!

Sunday, August 8, 2010

TWO thumbs up

I won't tell you the ending. It is not like you would understand it anyways. But the movie was crazy. I went into it not expecting to understand a thing, because that is a lot of the reviews I was hearing, and yes for the first 15 minutes your brain is working in overdrive trying to decipher what is actually happening . However, I understood the movie quite well, for the most part, as long as I kept reminding myself what was ALL going on. And that is a major understatement. So here is a little piece of it. When does a reality become just a dream, when does our dream turn into a reality, and are we really in reality right now?? Or is it all just a dream?? I left the theatre totally questioning reality. No lie, YOU WOULD TOO! It was that good. And I am a constant daydreamer. I lot of times I have to snap myself out of my fairytale world. But this movie took it a step further, actually 3 or 4 or 5. Depending on how well you were paying attention. I thought I was bad at dreaming too much, but so far I can tell a clear distinction between the two. Let's hope it stays that way after seeing

Thursday, August 5, 2010

favorite thing about today #6

my favorite thing about today was...
eating lunch with my brother. why? because he is an awesome brother. one of the best.
so good in fact...that he bought me these...

Wednesday, August 4, 2010


SACRIFICE I have sacrificed more than I could have ever imagined for my future of being a nurse, but honestly I am okay with that. Because somewhere in this world, someone has sacrificed even more than I have. Those I love know that it is for the best and Ill come back may 10, 2011 (graduation). And I will come back better than ever. My family has sacrificed even greater things for me, especially me being on a 6 year college plan, and I don't know how I will ever repay them. The encouragement, the extra money, the love, the shoulders to lean on, the hugs have meant more than words could ever express. Thank you for your sacrifices.
Second Chance. Each and everyday I thank God for the second chances, for the third chances. Without them, I would be out of school, alone, living in a box somewhere. I am positive it is more than hard to give people multiple chances, been there done that, but deep down, I would not be where I was today without them. I thank God everyday for my chance to redo nursing school, a chance to try again at a relationship, at a friendship, at letting Him be the Leader of my life. Because all too often I have to remind myself He is in control. I am grateful everyday at the second chances I have received.
BALANCE. A couple of weeks ago, I started playing on this Wii fit. It told me my balance skills were poor and I probably trip a lot when I fall. DEAD on. I was never meant to walk the tight rope, a balance beam, because I do good at walking down the street. So you can only imagine the problems I have when it comes to balancing my life. All I know is school is first. After that it is a major balancing act that I am obviously failing at.
DISAPPOINTment. My greatest fear in life is to disappoint. I am a pleaser, I apologize for everything, and I am constantly sorting through the file cabinet in my brain to make sure I haven't made someone else mad. But life isn't that easy. Everyone can't be happy, and no one can be happy until we are happy with ourselves. Spoken from my daddy. And as my sister says, Don't sweat the small stuff. Easier said than done. I am sorry if my decisions are disappointing. I'm doing the best I can with the short fuse that is about to explode. I guess it is just the Devil doing his dirty work. Not today.
Because today is a good day. Another day closer to my dreams.

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

favorite thing about today #5


knowing that God has it all under control.
He will never give us more than we can handle.
He loves us beyond anything we could ever imagine.

And his plans for us are unmistakeably AMAZING.
And for that I am forever grateful.

Sunday, August 1, 2010


Can I post the same blog twice? I posted just a few days ago about letting go and letting God. I used that lesson this week. Actually that lesson back fired. Sometimes I push too much. Sometimes I care too much. Sometimes I want too much. I can't help but wear those emotions. I smile too big, I cry way too hard, and I love way too deep. I give in, I take back, I hold on and can't let go. When does what we need become a want, when does what we want become too much, and when do we need to let go because what we want is not what we need? Gah, that makes no sense. I have what I want. But is it what I need? Maybe that makes it a little bit clearer. I am such a rambler. I over analyze everything. I think that's why I am in such an emotional tornado right this very moment. Because the wheels in my brain wont stop turning. I over think every step. Read in way too much then mess everything up along the way. Or that's how it feels atleast. Its because when you have worked so hard for everything that you want and have, you are so afraid of letting it all go. So you think, wonder, ponder, analyze, and try to remember and go over every situation, every detail. Oh, and push everyone away in the process. So when does the cycle end? When do we let go, and trust in ourselves, each other, in God? RIGHT NOW...
Because as mentioned in an earlier post everything
can be taken from us in an instant.
And that is no fun.
What else is no fun? Studying, studying everyday of my life. Living off of red bulls and monsters. Not sleeping at night, waking up with heart palpitations, heavy breathing, and an overt feeling of suffocation. And all for what? Oh yeah, that future of mine. That thing called a career. 3 tests, 2 weeks, unlimited cans of energy drinks, loss of vision due to all the excessive reading of the tiny little writing in a horribly, written for a doctor, book. Agh, the love of school. And the life you are trying to hold together outside of school. So I will make a toast,

Here's to keeping it together, only wanting what we need, slacking off on all of the energy drinks, and letting God take full control. Cheers.

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