Saturday, July 31, 2010

my WEEKEND recap

on a Saturday. I was supposed to work both yesterday and today,
but I was called off both days. I think that means I should be studying more for the
3 huge tests coming up but for now
I am going to introduce the
As much as I would love to take total claim, I am not allowed, but
I will take partial ownership. And as cute as she would look in all pink,
I am not allowed to do that either. So, for now she is sporting orange and blue,
against my well wishes of course.
Although, she looks so darn cute in it.
She is sweet, calm, loving, fun, and already has a
BIG sister.
She was born May 2, and is the sweetest golden retriever around.
Her name is not Stella Mae Ruby, as I would have liked her to be named, but just

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

favorite thing about today #3

my favorite thing about today was...

getting to paint my fingernails of course. see, with clinicals we CAN only wear clear polish. but i love to keep my nails painted, soooo since today was pretty much our last clinical day, I PAINTED THEM. and the blue is for the summer. :)

Monday, July 26, 2010

my favorite thing about today #2

eating lunch with my daddy. he is for sure mr. rational, something i sometimes forget how to be. and it is just one of the reasons i love him so much. and because this picture looks like something i would have drawn as a little girl. or even now. :)

let go and let GOD

Sometimes I forget to read my Bible, and I can't remember the last time I took a little time out of this life for just me and God. I do my best to say my prayers each and everyday, but sometimes I just forget, am too tired, or have so much going on that I don't. Ill get to it later or so I say. But here lately, I've been doing just the opposite. No matter how tired I am or what is going on, I have to always remember to say my prayers. I don't think God really minds what time of the day it is. So my next task at hand is to read my Bible. I love reading it, but I always seem to put it off. I don't know why, but it is a bad habit that I need to break. Maybe if I take a little time out of my day to do so, I mean I am always reading stuff on this phone of mine. I think it will be good for me. We could all use a little fresh beginning. Here lately, well for the past few years I have been rather stressed out to the MAX. And it is easier said than done to let all of those stressors go and just focus on the good in life. But it has come to my attention like a ton of bricks that I will lose everyone and everything around me if I continue to throw my stresses on them. Sure we need people to rely on, we need people to help pick us up off of the ground time and time again. But throwing every stressor at them when they probably have just as much as me just isn't fair. I know everyone has their way of dealing with stress but too much can knock someone down for good. I'm not saying I'm going to bottle everything up and hold it in. Because as noticed and mentioned last night, I do and have always worn my heart and my emotions on my sleeve. What I am saying is that I will try and not let my emotions and my stress effect my life and those around me so much that it causes strain, tension, or a lost love. I will make sure that I focus on their feelings too, and I will choose my battles, give my stress to God, and let go. It might be one of the hardest things to do in life, but life is partly the battles we face that make us who we are right now. So today ill let go and let God take control.

Saturday, July 24, 2010

my favorite thing about today #1

I was stalking/reading some other blogs when I came across a pretty simple, but fun little series. It is called "my favorite thing about today." Pretty self explanatory, huh? I constantly find myself coming up with everything bad that is going on in my life, and in the world today. So instead, I will take one post for the day and make sure it contains something positive. Mostly, I am a pretty positive person, but everyone has their days that aren't so chipper. I have had my share, along with everyone else but this post wont be for that! I might not update it everyday but I will try, just for you. So here it is.

My favorite thing about today was...
hanging with this little squirt. sure, I have probably posted this picture before, but it pretty much sums up our little relationship. i can't get enough of her, and she always makes me smile. she turns my frown upside down. she is the cheese to my macaroni, and the minnie to my mouse. ha. those are some of our faves. but today she brought me much happiness that i am forever grateful for.

Friday, July 23, 2010

"Happiness, feels a lot like sorrow, let it be, can't make it come or go, but you are gone, not for good but for now, gone for now feels a lot like gone for good." - the fray

these days are filled with anything but happiness, honestly, its more of the sorrow showing its evil ways. but in order to achieve such happiness would that mean someone else would have to be unhappy, or is there a common ground? Well could someone please point me into the direction of that road, because I obviously took a wrong turn and got lost. Story of my life. Word to the wise: I am horrible with directions. Top ten, world's worst. Tell me to take my first left, and if I see a road that probably isn't a road but more of a dirt/gravel area that is to the left, I will take it. You said first left, correct? Or maybe you said right, I mean it looks more familiar, I will go with right....dead end, turn around. It was definitely a left. I could have anyone turned around in a flash. My brain just analyzes things a little backwards and upside down. It usually takes a minimum of 3 times for me to find and actually know my way somewhere, and if I'm not driving you cannot count that to one of the 3 times. I probably wasn't paying attention. Okay so I'm lost, looking for the directions, and if anyone has a shortcut to may 2011 I would love it. because this road is getting more bumpy by the day, the storm is not letting up, and the grass has got to be greener on the other side of the huge mountain that awaits me. Surely it will be.

Quick pause for a question
: How do you tell someone that you are unhappy when their entire world is full of sparklers and bright colors and a fairytale world? Is it selfish to even say anything? What if it has your whole world turned upside down? What if it took everything you knew from right beneath your feet, no warnings?

Surely, there is a middle ground. Well I can't find it because I have no way to escape it all. I'm stuck. My battery is too low to call and ask for a way out, and I'm getting tired of relying on everyone around me. Its my life, my responsibilities, my unhappiness, my struggles, my mishaps, my wrong decisions, and my missed turns. Here's to finding our happiness. Wish me luck.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

You know how when you were a little kid and you believed in fairy tales, that fantasy of what your life would be, white dress, prince charming who would carry you away to a castle on a hill. You would lie in bed at night and close your eyes and you had complete and utter faith. Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, Prince Charming, they were so close you could taste them, but eventually you grow up, one day you open your eyes and the fairy tale disappears. Most people turn to the things and people they can trust. But the thing is its hard to let go of that fairy tale entirely cause almost everyone has that smallest bit of hope, of faith, that one day they will open their eyes and it will come true.- greys anatomy

Monday, July 19, 2010

You're always on my mind.

well of course school is always on my mind. maybe a little too much and then graduation followed pretty closely behind it or maybe in front, depending on the time of day.
I mean, how awesome does this place look?? I. AM. IN. And I am always thinking about vacation.
Can't forget my favorite love birds, and the happiest place on earth. D.I.S.N.E.Y.
last but not least, sleep. i mean the bed is awesome too. but i crave sleep. dream about sleep, if that is possible, and wake up every morning looking forward to going back to sleep. now thats probably a problem, but oh well. i don't have time for problems. so long, farewell. don't forget to check out "my poems" tabs. thanks.

catching up and getting out. was my very last pre-clinical day for this semester. the day where we go and find a patient, do a bunch of not so fun paperwork, meet the patient, chat with the patient, and so very eagerly tell them we will be their "student nurses" in the morning. i know they are pretty pumped about it.
the weekend was slightly more fun. i was a busy little bee helping the boyfriend move. so jealous. one more year, one more year. i think i had a little more fun than he did shopping for his new place, and that is okay, i love some target. and i didn't come out empty handed, i got a pretty awesome minnie mouse key to his place. and its too cute.
maybe your weekend was far more exciting than mine. i worked, saw some family, ate, went to bed early, and moved of course. just another weekend closer to graduation is what i say, right? anything to get me through to the next one.
so that is it, such a boring post, but im tired, have lots of paperwork to do, and just anxious in general. here's to my not so happy monday!

Wednesday, July 14, 2010


thats right... DISNEY ON ICE...presents PRINCESSES is coming November 3-7, and of course I am stoked, excited, and CAN'T wait! :)

Wednesday's Words.

I don't have too many words for the day. Some little princess didn't feel too well so I went and picked her up, and we are just taking it easy today. My sister and I both agreed she looks like a little cheerleader in this picture! Maybe one day! Happy Wednesday. PS... Ill give that answer to those clues soon!!

Monday, July 12, 2010

tabs tabs everywhere!

I have created a little tab right above here, below my picture named my poems! Click on it to read some of the things I have written. I will try to update it as much as I can without OVERDOING it. :)

color of the WEEK.

Obviously, when I don't have to focus ALL of my time on school, I do something a little more fun. I blog, change my blog, add pictures, stalk other blogs, etc etc. So I guess the color of this week is PINK. I am just in the mood. I know, I know... I am always changing my blog, but maybe one day I will find something and just stick with it. Until then, I am loving pink.

something SPECTACULAR IS COMING TO BIRMINGHAM IN NOVEMBER. first guess, no not John Mayer (I wish). But this is second best, and I CANNOT wait! Here are some clues.

clue 1. clue 2.

look hard, and if you can't figure it out from my clues, then you will have to wait. AND JESSICA, NO TELLING! :)


is over, done with, finished. That means 2 more and a final is all that's left for my 3rd semester....and FOURTH semester registration begins today. OMGee. When I saw that classes were open, I had a bit of a sinking feeling. I'm maybe a little superstitious so I am afraid if I register now, it is just a glutton for punishment. I mean, I haven't even passed this semester yet. So we will see, I might break down an do it. It might even give me a little more motivation. You know in all my years in college, this is the first semester for summer school except 1 online class many semesters ago. So I think summer school is beyond overrated, unless, they could hold class at the pool or at the beach. Maybe I will petition for that. But hey, I won't be in school next summer!!! Hello graduation! (Fingers crossed, prayers prayed) so maybe I will leave the petitioning up to the new and upcoming, don't know what they are getting themselves into, nursing students! Good luck boys and girls. If I could tell/give you a little advice, here it is: number 1. Please read the books. Some of the teachers aren't the best at translating to a level that you will understand, so read. 2. Study every chance you get, a little here and there. It is not just about memorization, it is about saving peoples' lives. 3. A 2 year program is no better or worse than a 4 year school. In the end we will all be nurses. 4. Keep your head up. 5. Pray hard.

Sure, we have people tell us what to expect, what to do and what not to do. But what actually happens is by far greater, more stressful, more emotional, and more time consuming than you could ever imagine. But you can do it, we can do it. So today starts another week closer to the end of this semester, I think I will relax, and catch up on life a little bit. Happy Monday.

Saturday, July 10, 2010

and the RAIN comes POURING down.

another night at work. Check.
However, unlike the past 3 days, we are slow. (i was trying to think of a cool thing to say,like slow as christmas or slow as a turtle or slow as ____, but i didn't want to use those.) So just know, that we are slow. No. No complaining from this end, however, the one night I didn't bring any books >> because I was sure I wouldn't be able to sit down, would be the one night I actually had time to do so. So instead, I think I will write. I haven't written in a while. Well, I take that back, I have a little, tee tiny bit and I shared a piece of it a couple of posts ago. However, I just haven't written like I used too. Maybe because I am still playing catch up from last week, 2 weeks ago, from a month ago. School has got me as crazy as always. So until I get caught up, my writing stays kinda on the back burner. Sorry for the disappointment. Ha. So today at work I am just pondering life, lessons, and ready to get home to my oh so comfy bed. (one in which has a new mattress cover, thanks babe!) Although, I am still in school.... I think I will get a countdown started... I am very much contempt/happy/blessed with everything/most things right now. Or so I think. I can't complain. I have a family who loves me, friends who accept me, and a boy who has stuck beside me. So life is good today. Life is good everyday, if I make it a good day. But there are some things that could be made better.... Here is a list of my to do's in the near future...
1. Eat better/work out/tone it up
2. Read my Bible/daily devotional
3. Make time for everyone
4. Take deep breaths
5. Take Lu to the park
6. Save some money!
7. Write more in my book
8. Study more,,because that is surely possible!
What are some of the things that you would do to make your life a little better, a little more positive? Are there any? I probably could go on and on with my list, but I will save everyone's time and just list these 8.

Ill fast forward 2 hours...
Work never got any busier, and that is okay. But God for sure wanted me to leave my stuff at home and just focus on me and my job. He constantly reminds me why I chose this field and why I pour my heart and soul into doing everything I can to fulfill these dreams. I know I talk about it often, but I think it is okay considering it takes up most of my life. See, I don't know if I am supposed/allowed to talk about work. I will leave out the names, room numbers, floors, sexes, diagnoses, etc. But I will tell you that while I am thankful to be in school, these people are thankful to just be alive. While I am scared about my test on monday, they are scared they might not live to see monday. No, not all of my patients are particularly fighting for their lives. But it is a real battle for some. And then there are my patients who just want a shoulder to cry on, a friend to talk to, and an ear to listen. I was that person tonight. I have done pretty good at forming this hard shell at work. Sometimes you have too, because it will get to you. I save all the tears for the stress of school, and believe me, that is plenty. But tonight the shell came down and I had to step back or out of some rooms before it really came falling down. One sweet little patient (I have had all week) was really talking tonight (a huge improvement) and just had the sweetest of the things to say. I always make a point to say goodbye to those who might not have family or just because I'm such a softy. So I was saying my goodbyes to this one in particular. And they asked for someting simple. Just a hug. I could do that. They told me they prayed for me and us (the other workers) every night, and I told them I would do the same. It is moments like that that break my not so hard shell. Life could be so simple, but we choose to complicate the mess out of it. I miss the simple. Just knowing what some of these people are going through is a battle in itself. I don't always get the full story, but tonight I got a full story. I went to say goodbye and I could hardly stand in the room. The patients do their best to show and prove to everyone that everything is fine, but inside they are dying, literally. And that's when it gets complicated. That's when I want to sit down, hold their hand, and tell them God is leading this vessel and He has control. But I need to remember that too for my life. I think, if I remember, this is only the 2nd time I have really just let my guard down for my job. And by guard down I mean letting the tears flow. I know when I really become a nurse the number will only grow. I don't think it will make me a bad nurse, just more adamant about being the absolute best nurse I can be. And I can't wait.

a picture is worth a thousand words.

I am studying. Today, yesterday, last week, 2 weeks ago, and tomorrow. TEST monday.

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

what a POSER.

a couple of weeks ago, I kept my little love bug, Miss Ryleigh. She loves playing with the camera and saying "cheese" (taking pictures of you). However, when you snap the picture at her, she has become a professional at not looking if she doesn't want to with the slightest of smirks on her face. SO, the other day I let her take one of me, then she proudly posed in a couple for me! She is such a mess, and I love her a whole lot more, each and everyday.

Just as Free...

...Free as we'll ever be. This past weekend we celebrated America's Independence Day. I had a wonderful time with friends and family, and love just being able to relax and remember all of the wonderful things I am so very thankful for. Not to mention, I love fireworks, so Thunder on the Mountain was AWESOME. :) Here are a few pictures from the weekend.

wednesday's WORDS

I don't have too much to say today. it has been a SUPER hectic day, especially at work. but, like always, I just have to step back and remember that these "patients" are family members too, and everyone needs somebody. On another note, I have a new favorite song. It's called "Sunshine" by Steve Azar. Here is a little piece of it. Happy Wednesday. (although it is almost over)

Baby, you're my sunshine, first light
Find your way to places that only know lies
Failed tries and bruised skies
With hardly time to hold on or be strong, now I'm strong
'Cos like the dawn you push it all away
I tell ya, you're my sunshine
Everybody needs a little sunshine
Your fingertips, a kiss to this tired face
It's like I'm young again
Well I feel beautiful
But most of all vulnerable since you broke in

Whacha Think???

I think this title is entirely too long, but I was trying to fit it all in there. I think I need a new title for my blog. A standard title that never changes. The "just a little girl" is so totally me, but it is just a quote from a song I fell in love with a couple of years back. I write each entry almost like a diary entry, or some of them I do. That is where the mis-kept part comes in. I don't do it everyday, I don't have time, it is normally a little scattered and all over the place, but it is always what I feel and straight from my heart. I'm not a writer, never had that want in life. But I love doing it, only because it has always been there to hold my feelings. My journals keep the best secrets, understand everything, and are just there to listen. They add no unneeded opinions, they just soak it all in for me. And that is all I need. So that is why I write. My poems might be below average or needed a comma here or there, but it is what I feel deep down and that is all that matters, right? Any other new title suggestions??

Monday, July 5, 2010

Dear Diary,

I suppose we wouldn't be where are today if it weren't for our past. our struggles. our deepest and darkest times. our good times. our tribulations. our ah-ha moments. ive been through a lot my last 23 years of life, but i know there is always one more person who has probably been through a lot more than i have.

today, at 23 years old, I still struggle with things from the past. I can't control what happened, why it happened, or how it happened. I wont go into any detail but it was a struggle, and I am still dealing with it today. We all are. I don't know how to comprehend what is going on, or even know if I want to. I want to be happy for what is taking place, and I really am. But it is all a little bittersweet. Because beneath it all, there is a chapter that is finally going to close. And I just don't think I am ready for such a closure. But like always, God will get us through this together. He always does.

Each day, somewhere and someone is facing a struggle. A struggle that might be too hard for us to even understand. But that struggle is something God wants. He needs for us to be stronger, to be wiser, and to know to always trust in Him. My struggles in life are not near what most people face. But that doesn't mean they don't make me stronger and more determined to fight.

"we don't seem to understand
why its happened this way
but everyone's heart is still broken
so we just take it day by day"

sincerely, Me.

Thursday, July 1, 2010

a little rage on the road.

Call me crazy, but some people shouldn't be allowed on the roads.
Mr. 18 wheeler, I can not, cannot merge on highway 65 going 45. If you didn't notice, the other cars aren't going 45, and considering that is where we are supposed to be....speed it up or get it out of my way. I know you are doing your best to look at every girl in the cars below you, but if you stayed in your lane, which should never consist of the fast lane, you would be just fine.
Mr. Dumptruck
, the stuff flying out of your car is hazardous to my vision, my windows, and my little bullet all together. Not to mention, you are littering. That's a fine buddy.
Mr. Policeman hiding behind the median. If we raised the speed limit by 10 miles per hour or so I would be just fine and you probably wouldn't have to hide there all day. And somedays I wish you had something better to do, then sit and wait. I mean, doesn't it get boring?
Mr. Driver of the speed limit in the left hand lane, MOVE out of my way. No really, you clearly see me in your rearview mirror, so move it or lose it!
Mr. Drive under the speed limit
in the left hand lane, MOVE! By the way, that should be illegal!!! The sign clearly says 70, not 65, so move. I've got people to see and places to be. If not, I wouldn't be driving. I hate driving. I remember though, I just couldn't wait to start driving, I begged and begged each time I got in the car to whoever to let me drive. Man, times have changed. It is such an inconvenience. A nuisance. Gah I don't like driving.
Mr. Get on your cell phone and forget you are operating a vehicle. Hello, there are other people on the road who need to be somewhere, not to mention we kinda like being alive. I know, I know, sometimes I use my cell phone, but I am still very aware of surroundings and I will not hog the lanes unless you deserve it ;) .
Oh, Mr. Blocker of the median. See, a long time ago we went to this little place called elementary school. And in that school we learned to read. So clearly when a sign says one thing, we should do the exact opposite. Or I am sure if you pull up any further on someone's tail in that intersection they are going to magically go further. They will however move forward if you get any darn closer, because your front end will be shoved into their rear!! But that sign on the sign on the side of the road that reads "do not block median" does not give you any right to pull up just enough so someone can't turn in or pull out. Thank you for the convenience of pulling up just enough to make me unhappy. Well, as you can kinda see, I'm definitely a warrior of the road, probably why my bullet and I get along so well. He is small, and moves fast and rather swift. I get it that most people find him unattractive and odd but he is my love. My bullet love.

this is on top of my bullet. its in rememberance of my minnie, the vw. :)

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