favorite thing about today #7

my favorite thing about today, but really it was Friday, was...

my sweet little honey do asked me, "sissy, what's that?" after I informed her that I had painted my nails, she insisted I do hers too. I was going to just do her toes, but she in fact wanted her nails done too! she sat so very still, and loved showing them off. i love my bug so much.

Monday Mayhem

I will give you a quick glimpse into my not so fun, but can't wait until it is over with, holy crap I have 2 tests, WEEK.
Monday: class, lunch with dad......[insert nap here] STUDY let's also insert lost checkcard, and forgotten keys at lunch. in my super sarcastic tone: YAY FOR MONDAY!
Tuesday: STUDY all day
Wednesday: test 4 that I have had very little time to prepare for.
Thursday: STUDY all day
Friday: FINAL on stuff that got taken from my memory bank weeks ago!! Ill be on a major hunt Thursday to find all of the information. I have too many nursing file cabinets in my brain, with no time to organize!
Friday after the final: PACK, wash clothes, clean my room... I hate leaving and going on vacay, then coming home to a yuck room. So it must be done because Saturday I am leaving for the beach!! I am so excited. Well if you search far enough in my brain you will find the excitement. Right now, holding steady in the front is school, the beach is underneath all the chaos!

TWO thumbs up

I won't tell you the ending. It is not like you would understand it anyways. But the movie was crazy. I went into it not expecting to understand a thing, because that is a lot of the reviews I was hearing, and yes for the first 15 minutes your brain is working in overdrive trying to decipher what is actually happening . However, I understood the movie quite well, for the most part, as long as I kept reminding myself what was ALL going on. And that is a major understatement. So here is a little piece of it. When does a reality become just a dream, when does our dream turn into a reality, and are we really in reality right now?? Or is it all just a dream?? I left the theatre totally questioning reality. No lie, YOU WOULD TOO! It was that good. And I am a constant daydreamer. I lot of times I have to snap myself out of my fairytale world. But this movie took it a step further, actually 3 or 4 or 5. Depending on how well you were paying attention. I thought I was bad at dreaming too much, but so far I can tell a clear distinction between the two. Let's hope it stays that way after seeing
Inception.

favorite thing about today #6

my favorite thing about today was...

eating lunch with my brother. why? because he is an awesome brother. one of the best.

so good in fact...that he bought me these...

Enough.

SACRIFICE I have sacrificed more than I could have ever imagined for my future of being a nurse, but honestly I am okay with that. Because somewhere in this world, someone has sacrificed even more than I have. Those I love know that it is for the best and Ill come back may 10, 2011 (graduation). And I will come back better than ever. My family has sacrificed even greater things for me, especially me being on a 6 year college plan, and I don't know how I will ever repay them. The encouragement, the extra money, the love, the shoulders to lean on, the hugs have meant more than words could ever express. Thank you for your sacrifices.

Second Chance. Each and everyday I thank God for the second chances, for the third chances. Without them, I would be out of school, alone, living in a box somewhere. I am positive it is more than hard to give people multiple chances, been there done that, but deep down, I would not be where I was today without them. I thank God everyday for my chance to redo nursing school, a chance to try again at a relationship, at a friendship, at letting Him be the Leader of my life. Because all too often I have to remind myself He is in control. I am grateful everyday at the second chances I have received.

BALANCE. A couple of weeks ago, I started playing on this Wii fit. It told me my balance skills were poor and I probably trip a lot when I fall. DEAD on. I was never meant to walk the tight rope, a balance beam, because I do good at walking down the street. So you can only imagine the problems I have when it comes to balancing my life. All I know is school is first. After that it is a major balancing act that I am obviously failing at.

DISAPPOINTment. My greatest fear in life is to disappoint. I am a pleaser, I apologize for everything, and I am constantly sorting through the file cabinet in my brain to make sure I haven't made someone else mad. But life isn't that easy. Everyone can't be happy, and no one can be happy until we are happy with ourselves. Spoken from my daddy. And as my sister says, Don't sweat the small stuff. Easier said than done. I am sorry if my decisions are disappointing. I'm doing the best I can with the short fuse that is about to explode. I guess it is just the Devil doing his dirty work. Not today.

Because today is a good day. Another day closer to my dreams.

favorite thing about today #5

MY FAVORITE THING ABOUT TODAY WAS/IS...

knowing that God has it all under control.
He will never give us more than we can handle.
He loves us beyond anything we could ever imagine.
And his plans for us are unmistakeably AMAZING.
And for that I am forever grateful.

CHEERS...

Can I post the same blog twice? I posted just a few days ago about letting go and letting God. I used that lesson this week. Actually that lesson back fired. Sometimes I push too much. Sometimes I care too much. Sometimes I want too much. I can't help but wear those emotions. I smile too big, I cry way too hard, and I love way too deep. I give in, I take back, I hold on and can't let go. When does what we need become a want, when does what we want become too much, and when do we need to let go because what we want is not what we need? Gah, that makes no sense. I have what I want. But is it what I need? Maybe that makes it a little bit clearer. I am such a rambler. I over analyze everything. I think that's why I am in such an emotional tornado right this very moment. Because the wheels in my brain wont stop turning. I over think every step. Read in way too much then mess everything up along the way. Or that's how it feels atleast. Its because when you have worked so hard for everything that you want and have, you are so afraid of letting it all go. So you think, wonder, ponder, analyze, and try to remember and go over every situation, every detail. Oh, and push everyone away in the process. So when does the cycle end? When do we let go, and trust in ourselves, each other, in God? RIGHT NOW...

Because as mentioned in an earlier post everything
can be taken from us in an instant.

And that is no fun.

What else is no fun? Studying, studying everyday of my life. Living off of red bulls and monsters. Not sleeping at night, waking up with heart palpitations, heavy breathing, and an overt feeling of suffocation. And all for what? Oh yeah, that future of mine. That thing called a career. 3 tests, 2 weeks, unlimited cans of energy drinks, loss of vision due to all the excessive reading of the tiny little writing in a horribly, written for a doctor, book. Agh, the love of school. And the life you are trying to hold together outside of school. So I will make a toast,

Here's to keeping it together, only wanting what we need, slacking off on all of the energy drinks, and letting God take full control. Cheers.