Change

Way back when, I wrote a blog about Change, but it was a different kind of change. I was just rambling about people changing, but now I will talk about change, in general.
I don't adjust well to change.
But let's get that sentence straight. I love nursing because everyday is different. I don't like routines, and doing the same things every. single. day. Sure we do some of the same things, but most days are pretty different than the next. Although I can sometimes anticipate what might happen, we just don't know. But the "change" I am referring to is a little different.
And I just don't adjust well to change.
IT
STRESSES
ME
TO
THE
MAX.
It throws me off balance, and I start to feel as if I am falling, LITERALLY. I work myself up and close my eyes real tight hoping that I'll be back to my center. In reality though, everything has changed, and I have once again found myself making adjustments. I feel if certain things "change" then the outcome will be different, and I do not want a different outcome. I want this outcome. When things change I am left here wondering if I have been forgotten or if everything really will be okay in the end. Who is to ever know? I don't like when things change. Maybe I am just being really selfish, but maybe this is just what everyone needs. Who is to say the outcome won't change if this change never took place to begin with? In other words, if everything were to be the same as is it right now, would my outcome still take place? Or do we need this change? Maybe I should just let it be, but we all know that isn't easy. I just don't like change, unless I know in my heart it is for the better. This, I am just not so sure about.