Sunday, April 10, 2011

all we have to do is believe.

Everything happens for a reason.
All we have to do is believe.

Sometimes that just doesn't feel like enough.

Although we may question and always wonder, whatever is going to happen will happen.

I question.
Its only normal.
We wonder what led us here.
Or not so much what led us, but why we were led in this direction.
I know what.
I talk about it all the time.
It was those choices, the ones I made.

But why?
I seem to always need an answer.
For everything. Whether I like it or not. It is that over analyzer thing going on.
I either need an answer, or I will figure out one on my own.
That's why I like google so much.
It seriously has an answer for everything. Well, almost everything.
The big important questions I can't ever seem to find on google, or bing, or yahoo.  
And let's be clear, I am very partial to google. Those are just the other websites for anyone else who might use them instead.
So I have to search a little deeper.
I don't want to question, but I do.

I don't have every answer to that question.  However, I am coming to a new chapter in my life.One that several friends have already begun.One that doesn't involve class, late night study parties, and too many red bulls.No, it involves the real world.The life after the madness, or maybe that is when the real madness begins.No one really knows for sure.Google sure doesn't have that answer.Let's be honest, I just knew I would be settled down at this point. And by settled, we are talking settled, close to a future with someone else.Let's be even more honest, that is nowhere in sight.Of course, I know what happened.I even know some of the why. But the big picture, I still questioned. Until the other day. I am going to be a little corny. I always knew, or thought that I knew that  my brothers and sister and I would have children and a family around the same age. You know, so they could all grow up with one another.I love the bond of close families.I think it is one of the most special things EVER. It makes me happy. I always dreamed that is how my life would play out. Well, like mentioned earlier, I am nowhere near that stage in my life.So the niece and nephews might help raising my littles one day. That is okay too.I know we still be as close as we are.But what is even better? The bond I have with some very special little ones. It is a bond I talk about very much, because no one could ever put into words how it makes me feel. I know that if I were to be settled down, or in a different place right this moment, that bond would not be nearly as close.I am thankful to still be just a college student, and just a part time worker. I can see them whenever I want. And I do.Because I love playing in tents, and running from the monsters, and watching Cinderella 3 days in a row. I promise you, I wouldn't trade it for the world.

So I don't need an answer.
I don't need to know why.
My why is pretty clear these days.


  1. I know exactly what you are talking about girl! Hope you are having a restful sunday! xx

  2. Another deep day. ;) I think it takes a lot to show the world, or however many people read these things called blogs, :) your real, raw, personal thoughts. You're going through what we all have and do at some point. You're normal. :)

    This verse is one of my very favorites, if you don't mind me sharing. I think it's just beautiful, full of promise, hope and comfort.

    "'For I know the plans I have for you' declares the Lord. 'Plans for good and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.'"
    Jeremiah 29:11

    Hope you have a wonderful day!

    Sophisticated Steps

  3. Ryleigh loves playing with her Aunt Sissy and I know her mom is so very thankful for everything she does:) we love you Aunt Sissy!

  4. I had my life ALLL planned out when I was 18, 21, even 26 and yet it never seemed to be exactly right once I got it. At 30 it went in a direction I never saw coming but yet it's the perfect direction for me to have gone in. Have patience, your time will come and in the way it's meant to get here! :)


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