Today is the day

My mom said to set a date. Set a date to say today is the day. Today is the day that you won't look back. Everyone deserves time to grieve and be bitter and cry. Some a little longer than others, but if we make a habit out of it then we are just letting something control us that we have no control over. Now what good comes from that? Absolutely nothing. We have no control. We gave it all to God. He closed this door we thought we would have opened for forever because He has something grander in mind. I might still be impatiently waiting, but I'm sure the wait will be worth it. Is it fair, probably not. But life's not fair and that's a whole other blog entry in general. So today is my day. After today, I'm to leave my past exactly where it belongs and I'm to wake up every single day with a better mindset than the day before. Hard? Well that's an understatement. But if I keep living this woe is me life, then I'm giving all the power to someone who doesn't deserve it. Today I'm taking everything I have left and I'm leaving on a jet plane. I'm saying so long to that chapter and I'm starting a new one. Today I get to see my brother and sister in law and spend the next five days with my best friends in Texas. Of course I'll be back, but not back where everything went so wrong. I'll be back and then I'll be closing on my very own home and I'll get to start a new chapter... a chapter with blank pages with a fresh new book smell, that's a smell to love. Or maybe it's the smell of a brand new home. Either way, today is the day to never look back, because it only brings me down. Today is for me and I couldn't be more excited to see where it takes me. So long Alabama. I'll see ya soon.

That's how the saying goes

When one door closes, another one opens.

That's how the saying goes anyways. What happens when we lose the key...when the plans change, because they do without fair warning, where do even look to find it? We pray and we ask, we might even scream. Why in the world would You close that door? Because He knew I never would. I need an answer for everything. It's how I learn. It's how I move on, how I become a better nurse... It's just what I need. The fear of the unknown is a real thing. Especially for this girl. I'm a literal person. That grey area people tend to live in isn't for me. My brain rarely shuts off and too much could be left for confusion. That's a definite fault. I have those too. So when one door closes another door will open. It's only a matter of when and if you have enough faith to trust in His timing. See, a few days ago I asked...I said, God why would you close that door? Simple as that. My answer wasn't something I had been looking for. I decided to pursue it because I knew if that was a new door opening then I wouldn't turn my back on what God was trying to show me. Not this time. I have so many times before, maybe a lot of us have. Throughout this whole house buying thing, I've asked God if this is the path He was leading me down. I know that if it wasn't He would stop it at any point because there would be something so much better. Why I can't trust in His timing for other things, I'm not so sure...but I am learning. Right now, a new door has opened and I'm anxious and I'm excited to see where it might lead me. The hardest part in all of this is trusting Him everyday, not just on the good ones. Like I said, I have faults and I'm by no means perfect. Everyday is an inner struggle searching for those answers. But each day that I give it to God, I'm reminded that life will go on & I better be ready.

Letting it go.

God teaches us to give Him our burdens. We are told to let go and let God. I think it's easier said than done. We are also taught our whole lives to fight for what we believe in, stand up for what we feel in our heart to be the truth. This is where it gets tricky. Do we fight, or do we let it go? If we do let it go, how in the world do we even do that? That is something that I have been struggling with lately. Letting it go... not fighting and giving it all to God. Fighting for what you love when you're the only one fighting is a tough battle, a battle that will most likely not end in your favor. Maybe it doesn't end the way we have it planned because it's not in God's plans. His plans are far greater, although my patience level tends to steer towards doing it all myself. I've been following along with another blogger in her "I'm ok, 30 days to becoming content where you are." She has some wonderful advice and lots of scriptures that have helped in these trying times. 

She writes, "The truth is majority of the time we just want God to magically fix everything without having to endure the refining process... But, where is His glory revealed in that? First of all, we’re not worthy of that and second, I take comfort in knowing He disciplines those He loves. In the discipline we find ourselves curled up at His feet, feeding on His every truth."

Especially here lately I feel that I have had no answers and it's a constant battle that I'm not so sure I can withstand. God sees it totally different. One of my best friends sent me a quote, "When you are down to nothing, God is up to something." Everyday I cling to those words. Everyday I pray that today will be a new day for me to find comfort in His plans, because mine are no good anyways. I'm not alone in my fight because today I will give it to God to fight it for me.

Click on the link below to follow along with her. You won't be disappointed. 

"Here's the truth about big life changes..."

I'm a quotes kinda girl. One liners to live by. (Or sometimes more than one) Most of the time it's way easier said than done and being on the receiving end is for the birds. However, when times hit the hardest your troops really do rally with you. I couldn't be more grateful for mine and all the nonsense they've put up with. Each day I find myself with another word of encouragement and although I wish it were different, it really does help. I keep saying through all of this that it's just not fair. But life isn't fair, and it never will be. I really do have so much to look forward to and I try daily to remember that. If anyone needs a good quote for the day maybe one of these will do. They've either been sent to me or I've found them on Pinterest. I would take total claim but I can't. Happy Friday world.

I'm moving too

If all goes as planned, I will be closing on my very own home the end of April. While I am so excited, and terribly anxious, I am definitely looking forward to decorating and making this place home for good. 

Of course, I've been pinning away and have so many ideas thanks to Pinterest! 

all images courtesy of pinterest. 

Shell's Bells

Friday, I met our sweet Michele to pick up my race packet. This was my very first race, and I couldn't be more proud to honor such a special person.

A few people did the 5k run, but most of us did the fun run (1 mile walk). Overall, we had about 35 team members, ranging from 3 months to 76 years young! I think Reece Anne was the youngest runner there! Michele is an inspiration to us all, and I couldn't think of anywhere I would rather be than by her side during this journey. We love you so so much!!

Inspiration

I am loving Pinterest these days. I am not sure if its because I have 4 days off each week (to do nothing), or that I am moving... but I am loving all things home. Or in my case, apartment. In the last post, I painted my chevron canvases, and I think they turned out pretty cute. Now, I am so excited that I found the 5X5 frames at Michael's to recreate this beauty.

I didn't buy 16 frames, just 9 for now. Did you know you can order your Instagram photos with the app PoastalPix? The app is free and the prints are only .89 cents! I am so looking forward to my prints coming in and my wall going up!

A Chevron Pinterest Creation

I saw this on facebook, so I had to do this for my new apartment. Here is the inspiration.

I am sure it would have been much easier if I marked the board better, but I was a little too impatient for that. So I taped it off. 

Painted two coats. Let it dry.

And peeled off the blue tape.

Of course, there are some small places where it leaked through, but overall I am rather happy with the outcome! The canvases are only $7.99 for a pack of two at hobby lobby (+ a 40% off coupon), so the entire project was well under $10.00! I think I might do it again, but in a more tan/peach color. What do you all think?

A Stolen Life.

I almost forgot while I was at the beach I read two pretty heart wrenching stories.

Day One: A Stolen Life by Jaycee Dugard

This story was truly powerful, heartbreaking, and chilling. Not to mention, it is all real.  Every piece you read is an intimate detail of a life that was taken for 18 years. It is pretty unimaginable to think she survived to even tell her story. Here were some of my favorite quotes or passages...

Who knew a pine cone could mean so much in someone's life. For it to mean something as big as freedom just leaves me speechless. My eyes are tearing up just thinking of what that little girl was going through. 

"When I don't dare to think, I dare to dream."

"Love is the easy part, it's the living without the love you need that is hard."

It also shares some of her journal entries.

She would often list goals, or places she would someday like to visit.

To think of the simplicity of such dreams is hard to imagine.

At one point she even says she will never hate Phillip and Nancy (her kidnappers)

because she doesn't want that sort of bitterness in her life.

That takes one strong person.

And I think she beats the odd.

Of course, I think she has a long hard road in front of her, but her story is inspiring.

The guts it took to right and open up her life in that way is remarkable, and although sometimes you just want to jump in the story and scream, that was her life for 18 years and she had no other choice but to adapt and survive. I commend her. 

So go read. It is a must!

Have you seen this?

Have you seen this blog? It is an inspiration. 3 friends came together in support of their friend who was diagnosed with ovarian cancer at 20 years old. Check it out. It is totally worth it.