The Sun is Rising

"Change is never easy. You fight to hold on & you fight to let go"

I've thrown myself into so many new changes lately searching for some sort of new normal that I forget exactly what I am searching for. I run daily to de-stress & stay in shape although I hate running. I left the most amazing job ever to work Monday - Friday even though I promised myself I'd never be a normal working girl and I own the cutest house on the block that I share with my pups, although I never imagined this journey alone. So halfway through my mental breakdown a couple of weeks ago I realized how badly I wanted my old normal back. A normal that made me happy, kept me semi stress free & promised me a future that I couldn't wait to start. It was a also a normal that was taken so abruptly I still forget that it even happened. I haven't forgotten it really, I live it daily. I just often wonder why it was all taken from me. We pray for God to make these changes and to steer us onto the path that He has chosen for us, but emotionally I feel like I'm in a tornado. My devotional tells me daily to have faith, and to never lose hope,  that everything happens in God's perfect timing. I'm just unsure where I fit into any of it. We wonder how long we have to walk blind in this storm until we find that ending we are searching for. As I sit here and write this my favorite song starts to play. I think it comes on at all the right times. 

"Whatever you're facing

If your heart is breaking

There's a promise for the ones who just hold on

Lift up your eyes and see

The sun is rising."

I doubt daily. I cry often but pray continuously. Somedays are better than others and somedays down right suck. The more I push myself into something new the more every ounce of the rest of me wants to fight it. I hate change but my old normal is long gone. I just have to remind myself that something grander is on it's way and I need to thank God for all the blessings that I do have. No matter how bad our days might be, tomorrow will come and the sun will rise again. 

Today is the day

My mom said to set a date. Set a date to say today is the day. Today is the day that you won't look back. Everyone deserves time to grieve and be bitter and cry. Some a little longer than others, but if we make a habit out of it then we are just letting something control us that we have no control over. Now what good comes from that? Absolutely nothing. We have no control. We gave it all to God. He closed this door we thought we would have opened for forever because He has something grander in mind. I might still be impatiently waiting, but I'm sure the wait will be worth it. Is it fair, probably not. But life's not fair and that's a whole other blog entry in general. So today is my day. After today, I'm to leave my past exactly where it belongs and I'm to wake up every single day with a better mindset than the day before. Hard? Well that's an understatement. But if I keep living this woe is me life, then I'm giving all the power to someone who doesn't deserve it. Today I'm taking everything I have left and I'm leaving on a jet plane. I'm saying so long to that chapter and I'm starting a new one. Today I get to see my brother and sister in law and spend the next five days with my best friends in Texas. Of course I'll be back, but not back where everything went so wrong. I'll be back and then I'll be closing on my very own home and I'll get to start a new chapter... a chapter with blank pages with a fresh new book smell, that's a smell to love. Or maybe it's the smell of a brand new home. Either way, today is the day to never look back, because it only brings me down. Today is for me and I couldn't be more excited to see where it takes me. So long Alabama. I'll see ya soon.

That's how the saying goes

When one door closes, another one opens.

That's how the saying goes anyways. What happens when we lose the key...when the plans change, because they do without fair warning, where do even look to find it? We pray and we ask, we might even scream. Why in the world would You close that door? Because He knew I never would. I need an answer for everything. It's how I learn. It's how I move on, how I become a better nurse... It's just what I need. The fear of the unknown is a real thing. Especially for this girl. I'm a literal person. That grey area people tend to live in isn't for me. My brain rarely shuts off and too much could be left for confusion. That's a definite fault. I have those too. So when one door closes another door will open. It's only a matter of when and if you have enough faith to trust in His timing. See, a few days ago I asked...I said, God why would you close that door? Simple as that. My answer wasn't something I had been looking for. I decided to pursue it because I knew if that was a new door opening then I wouldn't turn my back on what God was trying to show me. Not this time. I have so many times before, maybe a lot of us have. Throughout this whole house buying thing, I've asked God if this is the path He was leading me down. I know that if it wasn't He would stop it at any point because there would be something so much better. Why I can't trust in His timing for other things, I'm not so sure...but I am learning. Right now, a new door has opened and I'm anxious and I'm excited to see where it might lead me. The hardest part in all of this is trusting Him everyday, not just on the good ones. Like I said, I have faults and I'm by no means perfect. Everyday is an inner struggle searching for those answers. But each day that I give it to God, I'm reminded that life will go on & I better be ready.

Because facebook says so...

Today is "National Siblings Day." I'm not sure where they come up with these things but some are pretty fun to play along with. I love my brothers and sisters and couldn't be more thankful for them. Good days and bad, they are pushing me right along. I wouldn't have made this far without them. 

Letting it go.

God teaches us to give Him our burdens. We are told to let go and let God. I think it's easier said than done. We are also taught our whole lives to fight for what we believe in, stand up for what we feel in our heart to be the truth. This is where it gets tricky. Do we fight, or do we let it go? If we do let it go, how in the world do we even do that? That is something that I have been struggling with lately. Letting it go... not fighting and giving it all to God. Fighting for what you love when you're the only one fighting is a tough battle, a battle that will most likely not end in your favor. Maybe it doesn't end the way we have it planned because it's not in God's plans. His plans are far greater, although my patience level tends to steer towards doing it all myself. I've been following along with another blogger in her "I'm ok, 30 days to becoming content where you are." She has some wonderful advice and lots of scriptures that have helped in these trying times. 

She writes, "The truth is majority of the time we just want God to magically fix everything without having to endure the refining process... But, where is His glory revealed in that? First of all, we’re not worthy of that and second, I take comfort in knowing He disciplines those He loves. In the discipline we find ourselves curled up at His feet, feeding on His every truth."

Especially here lately I feel that I have had no answers and it's a constant battle that I'm not so sure I can withstand. God sees it totally different. One of my best friends sent me a quote, "When you are down to nothing, God is up to something." Everyday I cling to those words. Everyday I pray that today will be a new day for me to find comfort in His plans, because mine are no good anyways. I'm not alone in my fight because today I will give it to God to fight it for me.

Click on the link below to follow along with her. You won't be disappointed. 

"Here's the truth about big life changes..."

I'm a quotes kinda girl. One liners to live by. (Or sometimes more than one) Most of the time it's way easier said than done and being on the receiving end is for the birds. However, when times hit the hardest your troops really do rally with you. I couldn't be more grateful for mine and all the nonsense they've put up with. Each day I find myself with another word of encouragement and although I wish it were different, it really does help. I keep saying through all of this that it's just not fair. But life isn't fair, and it never will be. I really do have so much to look forward to and I try daily to remember that. If anyone needs a good quote for the day maybe one of these will do. They've either been sent to me or I've found them on Pinterest. I would take total claim but I can't. Happy Friday world.

Shell's Bells

Friday, I met our sweet Michele to pick up my race packet. This was my very first race, and I couldn't be more proud to honor such a special person.

A few people did the 5k run, but most of us did the fun run (1 mile walk). Overall, we had about 35 team members, ranging from 3 months to 76 years young! I think Reece Anne was the youngest runner there! Michele is an inspiration to us all, and I couldn't think of anywhere I would rather be than by her side during this journey. We love you so so much!!

Pretty in pink Purple

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

• I know, I know... I broke out my favorite coral dress again, but I just had too.
• Today, we had a diapers and wipes shower for my sister and baby Reece.
• This was my first party to pull together, but I had lots of great help!
• We loaded up on everything purple, and the painting was done by a close family friend.
• Miss Meghan and I used the cricut for all the crafts.
• We found some great ideas online for the banners. 
• We had delicious sweet treats and lots of good food that everyone brought.
• Meghan and I made the cupcake toppers, but another family friend made the cupcakes. Here is her website. Everything she makes is so good, and such a reasonable price!
• We used paper straws at my friend Anna's baby shower, so I had to get some for today!
• She had such a good little turn out, and I am just so grateful to everyone who helped and who came. 

THANK YOU! 

To my Dad.

I always seem to be one day late. I am terrible at that "photoaday" on Instagram because I am always posting my days... late. Well, I don't think my Dad will be to upset, because he secretly loves making appearances on the blooog. He is my #1 reader, and I am sure my biggest fan. I am one blessed girl, and I just don't think a girl could have a better Dad. Happy Father's Day, one day late. :)

Uh oh, the big 3-0

My sister's birthday was Friday (the day after Ryleigh's). I will say the day normally gets overlooked because we are preparing for Ryleigh's big bash, but not this year! We were not letting it pass us by. She turned THIRTY, so we had EVERYONE out to dinner at a yummy Japanese restaurant. It was so nice of everyone to come out and I am so happy that the day was all about my big sister. I love her.

We even had a few more people at dinner then all of the pictures show. Happy Happy Birthday sis. 143.

Happy Nurse Week!

This week is Nurse's week.

 I recently just started my new job in the CICU. I will say I ALMOST miss the chaotic, craziness of it all and the little bonds I had with so many of my patients. Being in a critical care unit is a different type of crazy and most of the patients aren't too with it to connect with. I know it has only been a little over a week and I will regret saying anything about it not being hectic. I am sure I will see that very soon. I am still so excited and know that the learning experience will be so worth it! Anywho, 

happy nurse week to all my fellow nurses!

Truth #1...

Truth #2... one day I am sure I will have some sort of problem all related back to this.

Truth #3... You just don't think about these things in nursing school, but seriously it happens.

Truth #4. I hear the call light in my dreams. The inventor obviously never stepped foot in a hospital.

Truth #5...