That's how the saying goes

When one door closes, another one opens.

That's how the saying goes anyways. What happens when we lose the key...when the plans change, because they do without fair warning, where do even look to find it? We pray and we ask, we might even scream. Why in the world would You close that door? Because He knew I never would. I need an answer for everything. It's how I learn. It's how I move on, how I become a better nurse... It's just what I need. The fear of the unknown is a real thing. Especially for this girl. I'm a literal person. That grey area people tend to live in isn't for me. My brain rarely shuts off and too much could be left for confusion. That's a definite fault. I have those too. So when one door closes another door will open. It's only a matter of when and if you have enough faith to trust in His timing. See, a few days ago I asked...I said, God why would you close that door? Simple as that. My answer wasn't something I had been looking for. I decided to pursue it because I knew if that was a new door opening then I wouldn't turn my back on what God was trying to show me. Not this time. I have so many times before, maybe a lot of us have. Throughout this whole house buying thing, I've asked God if this is the path He was leading me down. I know that if it wasn't He would stop it at any point because there would be something so much better. Why I can't trust in His timing for other things, I'm not so sure...but I am learning. Right now, a new door has opened and I'm anxious and I'm excited to see where it might lead me. The hardest part in all of this is trusting Him everyday, not just on the good ones. Like I said, I have faults and I'm by no means perfect. Everyday is an inner struggle searching for those answers. But each day that I give it to God, I'm reminded that life will go on & I better be ready.

Letting it go.

God teaches us to give Him our burdens. We are told to let go and let God. I think it's easier said than done. We are also taught our whole lives to fight for what we believe in, stand up for what we feel in our heart to be the truth. This is where it gets tricky. Do we fight, or do we let it go? If we do let it go, how in the world do we even do that? That is something that I have been struggling with lately. Letting it go... not fighting and giving it all to God. Fighting for what you love when you're the only one fighting is a tough battle, a battle that will most likely not end in your favor. Maybe it doesn't end the way we have it planned because it's not in God's plans. His plans are far greater, although my patience level tends to steer towards doing it all myself. I've been following along with another blogger in her "I'm ok, 30 days to becoming content where you are." She has some wonderful advice and lots of scriptures that have helped in these trying times. 

She writes, "The truth is majority of the time we just want God to magically fix everything without having to endure the refining process... But, where is His glory revealed in that? First of all, we’re not worthy of that and second, I take comfort in knowing He disciplines those He loves. In the discipline we find ourselves curled up at His feet, feeding on His every truth."

Especially here lately I feel that I have had no answers and it's a constant battle that I'm not so sure I can withstand. God sees it totally different. One of my best friends sent me a quote, "When you are down to nothing, God is up to something." Everyday I cling to those words. Everyday I pray that today will be a new day for me to find comfort in His plans, because mine are no good anyways. I'm not alone in my fight because today I will give it to God to fight it for me.

Click on the link below to follow along with her. You won't be disappointed. 

Shell's Bells

Friday, I met our sweet Michele to pick up my race packet. This was my very first race, and I couldn't be more proud to honor such a special person.

A few people did the 5k run, but most of us did the fun run (1 mile walk). Overall, we had about 35 team members, ranging from 3 months to 76 years young! I think Reece Anne was the youngest runner there! Michele is an inspiration to us all, and I couldn't think of anywhere I would rather be than by her side during this journey. We love you so so much!!

Think Pink

Of course, most people know that October is Breast Cancer Awareness month. This year it means so much more, because one of our own has been battling breast cancer since being diagnosed last December. I am so thankful for one sweet co worker to let me swap days so I could join in on the Fun Run here in Birmingham. We can all do so much to help!

Just

Think

Pink

And...

 

If you would like you can donate to Michele's team here. Just click right below!

 

 Michele's team!

Hair today, gone tomorrow

But not in a Nair kind of way.

I have never used Nair. I have super sensitive skin so can't even begin to imagine the kind of damage that would do to my already bothersome skin problems. But not nearly the damage chemotherapy does to those loved ones of ours fighting the battle. Cancer. It just isn't fair. Sure it is killing those cancer cells and ultimately healing the cancer, but does it have to take their hair too? Maybe that's just the price to pay. I can't speak for anyone in regards to this. I can't say at least it's not something else. Hair is a big deal. I complain about mine on a weekly daily basis, but I would be devastated without it. It is such a security blanket, and the thought of going without, well that should never cross our minds. I've spoken about this before. Right here. And I have said it is just hair, it should not define who we are, but it does let the world know that our battles are probably greater than theirs and it puts us in a much more vulnerable position. Not because we let it, but because everyone knows what it means, what it stands for. I can't say don't let it define you. I am grateful to have never had that weighing on my mind. But it does to millions of people every single day. It does to those closest to us. It does to one very special lady. We wish we could take those added burdens away, but we can't. However, we can pray with all we have and give it all to God, because one day it will come back just as beautiful as before. And that it will, because the battle might temporarily take our hair, but only for a moment. Most changes are scary changes. Big or small. Long or short. We just can't stop praying and we won't.

Bittersweet

We often pray for miracles, for God to perform these tasks that we humans are incapable of performing. We pray that His hands do the impossible. Because with Him, all things are possible. We wish for peace on earth, hunger to end, and for there to be a cure for cancer. These are wishes my God has granted for years and years. He has performed these miracles, and He will continue to do many more. However, it is also seen all too often that God's plans are greater than ours and His miracles are far better. We may not see a wife losing her life to cancer as a miracle, but I do think God sees it as one. He has just gained the most beautiful angel and she is no longer fighting the demon that is cancer. In His eyes, she won the battle. Just maybe not as we down here would like to believe. I guess that is just the selfishness in us all. In God's eyes He granted what we all prayed for. He took her cancer away and He set her free. It may take some many years to see it in such a way that God intends us to see it, but I am certain He will never leave our side as those struggle to find the answers. Cancer is an ugly battle and I can only hope and pray that one day there is a cure. God's miracles are never ending. Please keep the Davis family in your thoughts and prayers as they now begin a different journey. May God wrap His arms around them all.

12 for 2012.

I never leave Your hands

Remember last year? Last September, my aunt was diagnosed with adenocarninoma of the lungs. Real time lingo, lung cancer. She was quite possibly one of the bravest people I saw fight the battle that she fought. My aunt knew that Jesus faced an unimaginable battle and this was just a piece of cake. She said, This too shall pass. And it did. After the radiation, chemotherapy and every other demon that comes with cancer, she faced it head on. She came out on top, stronger than ever. As a family we faced the battle together. She is our aunt, she is our family. We might not have felt what she felt,  but we fought the battle just as hard.

And we are going to do it again.

Last week another dear family member was diagnosed with breast cancer. She may not be family by blood, but she is just as much family as a cousin or aunt or brother or sister. She is our family. So once again we stand together stronger than before to brave another battle. Although this sweet little lady might not show her toughness like some of us, she really is. She will fight this fight with her head held high to only come out on top. That's the only option, right?. Since last year, we have all become a little tougher, and we are ready for the unexpected. I have to speak with this optimism because when you think positive, positive happens. So we will take your hand, and we will all hold on tight. Please keep her and our families in your thoughts and prayers.

God is good all the time and all the time God is good.

 "Your hands" JJ Heller

 I have unanswered prayers
I have trouble I wish wasn’t there
And I have asked a thousand ways
That you would take my pain away
You would take my pain away

I am trying to understand
How to walk this weary land
Make straight the paths that crooked lie
Oh Lord, before these feet of mine
Oh Lord, before these feet of mine

When my world is shaking, heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave your hands

When you walked upon the earth
You healed the broken, lost and hurt
I know you hate to see me cry
One day you will set all things right
Yeah, one day you will set all things right

When my world is shaking, heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave your hands

Your hands that shaped the world
Are holding me
They hold me still

I must say I heard this song here,

I spoke of this story a few weeks back.

It is a beautiful song.

Being Selfish Selfless

Last week was very much a learning experience.

It is not all about me.

Hopefully I speak for most when I say I am guilty of occasionally thinking it is. Last child syndrome, or just being a human in general?

Something doesn't go our way, and instead of thinking through every reason why, it instantly puts a chip on our shoulder. What? How does this happen to me? Everything bad only happens to me? Are you paying attention to me? See? It isn't pretty, but I am guilty.

I wear my emotions for the world to see. I sure wouldn't be blogging this if I didn't.  And that's where this problem lies. For example, work last week was trying in a way that most people who don't work in health care don't see often. Death looms over the hospital, because that's what happens when people are sick. There are many outcomes, sometimes death is one of them.

That may never come easy for me. So when we are expected to deal with it in such a timely manner and move throughout the day with a happy smile, the lines get blurry because our eyes are still pretty teary. There goes the emotions.

But it's not all about me. I didn't lose a family member, a brother, a sister, husband or wife. Someone's trials just got a little more tricky and someone's world became a little darker. I wonder how they feel? I know how I feel and I've only known them a day. I can't even begin to imagine your heartache. Well I could, but now isn't the time for me to dwell on my life, right now it isn't all about me.

We hear some extremely heart breaking news about a beautiful wife, and it's like really? The week couldn't have ended more terribly. How much more can one emotional heart on the sleeve wearer take? Considering I don't have those life decisions right in front me, hopefully a lot. It's not all about this girl.

I had a long talk with my mom because she recently lost a dear friend to cancer. My heart breaks for those who have to say good bye one last time not knowing whether or not their loved will wake up to see the next morning. I am so mad because how can I be so selfish? A family is holding on with all they have to make it to Christmas, so it is definitely not all about me.

Although I have struggles, others have far greater hurdles to jump over in the days and weeks and months to come.

Last week was definitely a learning one.
I am learning that being selfless is more beautiful than being selfish. And I will say my Daddy tops the list at number one Dads.

Talk about being selfless and stepping in without question. Thank you so much for everything last week. I know you read my "blooog" and I could never tell you enough what an awesome Dad you are. Thank you for being selfless, and for being my Daddy.

 www.caringbridge.org/visit/adrynedavis

Heart Therapy: I am

I have linked up with Ashley before for Heart Therapy. It is the weekly blog therapy. 

  

This week we are making an I am list...

I AM...

smart

funny

 courageous

brave

flawed

kind

a good aunt

encouraging

a hard worker

loyal

a good listener

caring

loving

beautiful

I think it is easier to make a list that might start with, I am not. 

Although I am normally rather sarcastic, making these types of lists are hard without feeling super narcissistic. Nonetheless, I think it is definitely good for the soul to pat yourself on the back every now and then. 

On the flip side, this week at work and outside have been rather draining. Hello, debbie downer. But no seriously, you would have thought yesterday was Friday the 13th at work. Nope, it was just a Tuesday. I will tell you that I walked out of that hospital a stronger person for what we all endured. 

Also there are some unspoken prayer requests that have been heavy on my heart. I just can't imagine going into the holiday wondering not how they are going to buy presents, but how they might buy groceries. Please keep all of those who aren't quite as fortunate in your thoughts and prayers. 

The weekend is fastly approaching, eeek.

 

Drifting Away (photo overload)

Last week was the annual family beach trip.
Last week was WONDERFUL.
The beach was beautiful, the water was perfect,
and most days were pretty uneventful.
We ate a lot of shrimp, caught a lot of rays,
and enjoyed each and every moment.
There were 13 people, which included
3 children at and under the age of 3, with 1 condo
and only 2 bathrooms. However, we survived
and I have TONS of pictures to prove it.
ENJOY. 

my nephew, Will and me

 my daddy and me at Doc's

 Meghan (my brother's gf and me)

 My brother, Daniel and me

 My newphew, Judson

 My niece, Ryleigh Bug. No her name isn't "Ryleigh Bug H----. However, if you ask, she will tell you that it is.

 My sister, Jessica and I

 love.

 Meghan, Daniel and me

 My Dad and his gf Michele

 Maybe my favorite picture of the bug.

 Daniel and Meghan

 I have tons more pictures. Actually, in all, 3 people managed to take 1799 pictures!! However, I will spare you the excitement! Hope everyone is having a great week. Also, I ask for lots of prayers for a sweet family. Please read her story here.

Today was the day.

Today I took my nursing boards.
I had between 140-150 questions, I stopped looking after 140ish so I really couldn't tell you.
(The minimum is 75 and the maximum is 265;
the computer will cut you off when it feels it has a good portrayal of how you did).

It was by far one of the hardest tests of my life.

I am sure I blacked out during some of the questions.
I can't believe I am still sitting in front of a computer screen.
I don't think my eyes are really appreciating this right now.
I will find out tomorrow the BIG NEWS.
Until then, I will continue praying for GOOD NEWS.

April 27, 2011

Have you ever seen the aftermath of a war zone? What happened here yesterday much worse. I feel beyond thankful that we were unharmed and untouched by the havoc the touched barely 100 yards away from my sister's house. Not everyone was as lucky. Actually, I know they weren't. I saw it with my own eyes. It took my breath away. And this was only one neighborhood. It happened in several others. Several people I know have lost everything. The college town I spent many days in is now a pile of ruble for someone to clean up. The shops I visited, the roads I drove on are all gone. In an instant, everything was taken. Like I said, I am very thankful to have had nothing damaged in that storm. Several HUNDRED were not so lucky. Several peoples lives were taken, and there are still people left to be found today. A good friend huddled in his bathtub while every wall in his apartment uprooted right beside him. He is thankful to still be here. Several other friends lost childhood homes. For them it wasn't just belongings that can eventually be replaced, it was their entire life. I don't know what that feels like. I don't want to even imagine that feeling. As my brother in law and I were walking the streets last night, I told him, we aren't taught this in nursing school. The chaos in the hospital is very much controlled. The chaos last night was far from it. There were people wandering around looking for anything they could find. We were just walking around in a state a shock. What happened in the south yesterday was very much a disaster. Please keep them all in your thoughts and prayers.

 The first picture is one of my good friend's jeep. The rest are from my sister's community.