The Sun is Rising

"Change is never easy. You fight to hold on & you fight to let go"

I've thrown myself into so many new changes lately searching for some sort of new normal that I forget exactly what I am searching for. I run daily to de-stress & stay in shape although I hate running. I left the most amazing job ever to work Monday - Friday even though I promised myself I'd never be a normal working girl and I own the cutest house on the block that I share with my pups, although I never imagined this journey alone. So halfway through my mental breakdown a couple of weeks ago I realized how badly I wanted my old normal back. A normal that made me happy, kept me semi stress free & promised me a future that I couldn't wait to start. It was a also a normal that was taken so abruptly I still forget that it even happened. I haven't forgotten it really, I live it daily. I just often wonder why it was all taken from me. We pray for God to make these changes and to steer us onto the path that He has chosen for us, but emotionally I feel like I'm in a tornado. My devotional tells me daily to have faith, and to never lose hope,  that everything happens in God's perfect timing. I'm just unsure where I fit into any of it. We wonder how long we have to walk blind in this storm until we find that ending we are searching for. As I sit here and write this my favorite song starts to play. I think it comes on at all the right times. 

"Whatever you're facing

If your heart is breaking

There's a promise for the ones who just hold on

Lift up your eyes and see

The sun is rising."

I doubt daily. I cry often but pray continuously. Somedays are better than others and somedays down right suck. The more I push myself into something new the more every ounce of the rest of me wants to fight it. I hate change but my old normal is long gone. I just have to remind myself that something grander is on it's way and I need to thank God for all the blessings that I do have. No matter how bad our days might be, tomorrow will come and the sun will rise again. 

Call Me Maybe

After working 12 hours yesterday, and delivering news no nurse should want to deliver, this girl was getting out on the town. I'm completely aware it's the field I chose and I will always love being nurse, but some things will never get easy. This past month has been a bit of a whirlwind of emotions, so last night could not have come at a better time. My brother went to the lake, so I kidnapped his sweet girlfriend and we met up with my two college roomies, another great friend and off we went to a swanky little place called Blue Monkey. 

Look who is rocking their new coral skinnies... This girl.

our night didn't end there, so I'll save that for another post. Also, I think we heard Call me Maybe 5 times while we were out. It is rather catchy, and I kind of love it.

top 5 most fun nights on the town.

Born and Raised

Oh Johnny. Have you heard his new album? It is just delightful... Born and Raised. It isn't just the name of the album, but also names my most favorite song.

Now and then I pace my place
I can't retrace how I got here
I cheat the light to check my face
It's slightly harder than last year

Then all at once it gets hard to take
It gets hard to fake what I won't be
Cause one of these days I'll be born and raised
And it's such a waste to grow up lonely

I still have dreams, they're not the same
They don't fly as high as they used to
I saw my friend, he's in my head
And he said, "You don't remember me, do you?"

Then all at once it gets hard to take
It gets hard to fake what I won't be
Cause one of these days I'll be born and raised
And it's such a waste to grow up lonely

I still got time, I still got faith
I call on both of my brothers
I got a mom, I got a dad
But they do not have each other

So ride on up, take your place
And show your face to the morning
Cause one of these days you'll be born and raised
And it all comes on without warning

Plans change, people too, but life goes on.

I read a book last summer and it read the most perfect paragraph. We could make a big bowl of ice cream, crank up the John Mayer, but the sun is going to set and rise each and everyday. Well, it didn't say John Mayer, but it did mention something about ice cream and the sun. Then one day you'll wake up and your life has flashed before your eyes. Maybe not literally of course, but it really does feel like it. We set goals, we make plans, we meet mountains then everything changes. It changes because we allow it to. We decide those paths are just too tough, so we make a bee line for the quickest exit and our dreams aren't nearly as hard to reach, so life goes on.  Let's just take it from John Mayer. He says it pretty perfectly. One of these days, you'll be born and raised and it all comes on without warning.

walking like a one man army...

You ever feel like you have something to tell someone but you don't, and before you can get around to it, it's too late? I have felt like that. However, for the most part I wear my heart on my sleeve. I say what I feel. I might have wished I didn't say it, but more than not I say it anyways. With a big gulp, I just do it. I would rather say it now then it be too late tomorrow. Nonetheless, there have  been plenty of times when I did not always say what I felt or what I should have said. Have you heard the song by mr John Mayer?
He says it clear as day.

...Say what you need to say...

Lately, or ALWAYS, I reflect on everything. 

So with everything going on recently, it is only natural to do some extra reflecting.

A little searching,

I am always wondering what I could have done or said differently.

I know that we should not dwell on the past, 

maybe we should just take a quick look back to see how far we have come.
It might be dangerous.
It might be scary.
But I have tried the not looking back thing and I'm too nosy not to turn around.
So I will take a glance at what used to be.

And afterwards,
I will say what I need to say.
I will feel what I have to feel.
you should too...

after all, tomorrow is never a guarantee.

And because I am partially obsessed with the guy who the wrote the song, I will take a look at the all the handsome pictures of him too.

now, welcome to my world. ha.

Have no fear for giving in
Have no fear for giving over
You'd better know that in the end
Its better to say too much
Than never to say what you need to say again

Even if your hands are shaking
And your faith is broken
Even as the eyes are closing
Do it with a heart wide open

Say what you need to say...

the Grammys

Did you have a favorite performer? Well, mine was mrs KATY Perry. I love her new single, so I am sure that is why I am picking her. Have you heard the new single. Story of my life. Check it out here. It is called "Not like the Movies"

But really, my most favorite performance of the night went to another deserving winner. A beautiful little blonde who won over the hearts of millions with an old classic. See for yourself.

loving it...

this video is on the new LG commercial. and although a little strange, i am obsessed.

favorite thing about today #15

MY FAVORITE THING ABOUT TODAY IS...

 

getting the new taylor swift cd... thanks to my boy.

OMG I LOVE IT!

I can't even begin to pick my favorite.

As we speak, I am listening to "Never grow up"

It is a song I would write to Ryleigh 

if I could write a song, 

and sing it to her. 

It is too sweet. I am just giddy

over this cd.

Taylor Swift,

YOU ARE AMAZING!

A Song for Every Mood = Day Nine

Sorry for being a day late...but here is my song for every mood...and of course there are tons but I am just going to name one for each.

HAPPY: you're my sunshine - steve azar
SAD: if i die young - perry.
ANGRY: gunpowder and lead - miranda lambert
ROMANTIC: where did my baby go - john legend
DANCE PARTY: maneater - nelly furtado
CHILL: element - matthew mayfield
SLEEPY: everything John Mayer, because I love him.