The Sun is Rising

"Change is never easy. You fight to hold on & you fight to let go"

I've thrown myself into so many new changes lately searching for some sort of new normal that I forget exactly what I am searching for. I run daily to de-stress & stay in shape although I hate running. I left the most amazing job ever to work Monday - Friday even though I promised myself I'd never be a normal working girl and I own the cutest house on the block that I share with my pups, although I never imagined this journey alone. So halfway through my mental breakdown a couple of weeks ago I realized how badly I wanted my old normal back. A normal that made me happy, kept me semi stress free & promised me a future that I couldn't wait to start. It was a also a normal that was taken so abruptly I still forget that it even happened. I haven't forgotten it really, I live it daily. I just often wonder why it was all taken from me. We pray for God to make these changes and to steer us onto the path that He has chosen for us, but emotionally I feel like I'm in a tornado. My devotional tells me daily to have faith, and to never lose hope,  that everything happens in God's perfect timing. I'm just unsure where I fit into any of it. We wonder how long we have to walk blind in this storm until we find that ending we are searching for. As I sit here and write this my favorite song starts to play. I think it comes on at all the right times. 

"Whatever you're facing

If your heart is breaking

There's a promise for the ones who just hold on

Lift up your eyes and see

The sun is rising."

I doubt daily. I cry often but pray continuously. Somedays are better than others and somedays down right suck. The more I push myself into something new the more every ounce of the rest of me wants to fight it. I hate change but my old normal is long gone. I just have to remind myself that something grander is on it's way and I need to thank God for all the blessings that I do have. No matter how bad our days might be, tomorrow will come and the sun will rise again. 

Every little thing will be alright

I started blogging again because I wanted to blog about the exciting changes that were happening in my life. I have a job that I love, I'm closing on my very own home in less than a month now, and I was sharing my life with someone who I love dearly.... But I also have always kept this blog like a diary. Did I expect to ever be writing like this again? Absolutely not. For me, writing is therapy. So I can't apologize if sometimes this blog is like a Debbie downer. Although I try to see the positive in every situation, sometimes I just need to let it out....

I'm never good with change. I don't think I can blog about it enough. I think heartache is like having your tonsils out. The older you are, the harder the aftermath. Maybe it's the thought of starting over, again. Maybe it's the reality that I'm not living the plans I imagined. I steered off that course along time ago. Through each situation I try to not do anything out of spite and I never have wanted to feel empowered over someone. Making myself feel better isn't a priority I strive to receive. Maybe I should, but it's just never been how I deal with situations. I am, however, sometimes too nice and give everyone the benefit of the doubt. I see the good. Right now some would say I have it all, but I beg to differ. I try daily to remember that His plan is greater but my heart is bruised. At 18, if you asked how my life would be at 27 this wouldn't have been it. I, again, don't make those plans. I only follow them, sometimes screaming and fighting. I've been given the answers I so desperately crave and I am still having the hardest time putting one foot in front of the other. Do I realize that many others have it way worse than I? Of course. But today, these are my struggles, and they are very real. Growing up I never wanted to feel like I needed someone to help me through life. Do I love companionship and having someone there, of course. I love the idea of sharing my life with someone, married or not. However, right now I'm having to learn just the opposite. I thought I was starting a new chapter with someone. Plans change and people do too. I can't live with the idea of not starting this chapter because I'm no longer sharing it with someone. I can't halt my life because someone halted theirs. I pray every single day for the right decisions. Right now I'm hating the answers, I really am. However, I know that I need to figure this journey out by myself. I can start a chapter without the rock I so desperately loved, because that rock crumbled. Luckily for me, my God's rock will never fault me. I may not see His plans because my eyes are a little teary, but I will try living it. Every single day. 

Since you've been gone...

We just got our cable/internet hooked up at the new apt...and a little more settled in. I'm not sure how many of my shows I missed, but I am trying to catch up. So, here's what I happened while I've been away...I got my hair cut & colored. I love keeping it dark, just need to keep it up on a regular basis.

We welcomed this princess into the world.

Reece Anne has 2 excited siblings.

And that sister of hers loves to cuddle.

We finally moved and started making it home. I, of course, found this snazzy idea on pinterest.

This one too.

The other night at work, Gigi's cupcakes brought us some delicious goodies.

And duh...

Not really. I just thought this was too funny. I am excited to get back into blogging with our internet back up. I've had so many changes in the past few weeks so it is nice to be settling into a new normal. 

Life is grand. Happy Thursday.

Call Me Maybe

After working 12 hours yesterday, and delivering news no nurse should want to deliver, this girl was getting out on the town. I'm completely aware it's the field I chose and I will always love being nurse, but some things will never get easy. This past month has been a bit of a whirlwind of emotions, so last night could not have come at a better time. My brother went to the lake, so I kidnapped his sweet girlfriend and we met up with my two college roomies, another great friend and off we went to a swanky little place called Blue Monkey. 

Look who is rocking their new coral skinnies... This girl.

our night didn't end there, so I'll save that for another post. Also, I think we heard Call me Maybe 5 times while we were out. It is rather catchy, and I kind of love it.

top 5 most fun nights on the town.

Born and Raised

Oh Johnny. Have you heard his new album? It is just delightful... Born and Raised. It isn't just the name of the album, but also names my most favorite song.

Now and then I pace my place
I can't retrace how I got here
I cheat the light to check my face
It's slightly harder than last year

Then all at once it gets hard to take
It gets hard to fake what I won't be
Cause one of these days I'll be born and raised
And it's such a waste to grow up lonely

I still have dreams, they're not the same
They don't fly as high as they used to
I saw my friend, he's in my head
And he said, "You don't remember me, do you?"

Then all at once it gets hard to take
It gets hard to fake what I won't be
Cause one of these days I'll be born and raised
And it's such a waste to grow up lonely

I still got time, I still got faith
I call on both of my brothers
I got a mom, I got a dad
But they do not have each other

So ride on up, take your place
And show your face to the morning
Cause one of these days you'll be born and raised
And it all comes on without warning

Plans change, people too, but life goes on.

I read a book last summer and it read the most perfect paragraph. We could make a big bowl of ice cream, crank up the John Mayer, but the sun is going to set and rise each and everyday. Well, it didn't say John Mayer, but it did mention something about ice cream and the sun. Then one day you'll wake up and your life has flashed before your eyes. Maybe not literally of course, but it really does feel like it. We set goals, we make plans, we meet mountains then everything changes. It changes because we allow it to. We decide those paths are just too tough, so we make a bee line for the quickest exit and our dreams aren't nearly as hard to reach, so life goes on.  Let's just take it from John Mayer. He says it pretty perfectly. One of these days, you'll be born and raised and it all comes on without warning.

If I had a million dollars

I would have pinterest home for sure.
I am on the house hunt once again, and it sure would be nice to live in a sweet little home like this. 
A girl can dream..

But hey...

my Music Monday

I see a lot of "music Monday" posts...I love music, and often write blogs based on songs I hear...So here is my music Monday....
***just click to read.
It's my party and I'll cry if I want too - Lesley Gore
If I Could Write A Letter to Me - Brad Paisley

Lean on Me - Bill Withers

If I Die Young - The Band Perry
You Can't Always Get What you Want - The Rolling Stones
Free Fallin - John Mayer
Keep Your Hands to Yourself - Georgia Satellites
The House that Built Me - Miranda Lambert
Highway 20 Ride - Zac Brown Band
Friends in Low Places - Garth Brooks
Hey Soul Sister - Train

American Honey - Sugarland

HAPPY MONDAY Y'ALL!

It's my party life and Ill cry if I want to.

 image

I'm over driving 40+ miles back and forth almost every single day. I'm over this whole school thing. I'm just over it. For someone who despises driving as much as I do, it is rather ironic that I made the decision to move home, and make the long i-459 until it changes into i-59 drive way too many times. The drive is draining. Its long, and I can only sing and talk to myself for so very long, until the voices start talking back. Okay there aren't any voices, just mine, and I do talk to myself. On occasions of course. But to see the long road ahead of me in the distance, and never feeling any closer to my destination is rather disheartening. Its frightening to say the least. Its a lot like my journey through school as well. I was almost there, then a major road block derailed that. But we all know that story. I waited, sometimes not so patiently, refilled up the gas tank, and started on the long journey one final time. The journey for school, not the one to school. I still trek that journey a lot, and will continue to do so until may10,2011. I'm not going to all of sudden just love driving. I have never liked it, never will like it, and would just rather have a magic wand that taps me to my next destination. Problem solved, there is my million dollar idea. Too bad I don't have time for any extra ideas.

Okay I get I'm throwing myself a minor pity party, but once I vent, I shall be fine. And I know, why don't I just stay with friends down near school? Well I could, and I have. There is just something about the comfort of your own bed that makes the long drive a little bit worth it. I'm just a homebody. Always have been. Not that I'm not comfortable anywhere else. Its just I want to feel like I'm somewhere that feels like home. That warm, throw some fuzzy socks on, grab a blanket, and lounge on the couch, with no worries, no interruptions during my favorite tv shows, and no passing over into my personal space bubble kind of feeling. I'm sure you all know the feeling. But really, I can't wait to call my own place home. Ever since we have moved out of the house we grew up in, I've been quite the little nomad. That's okay, I don't mind. Let's set this record straight first: I am beyond grateful I have a roof over my head as some don't. I'm very grateful to have heat and a/c because some don't. I'm very thankful I have a nice and comfy bed with bright pink sheets, because some don't. And I'm very thankful for my parents who make the dreams a reality. All I'm saying is I want to feel like I'm at home, not at someone's house that ill move out of in the next year or two. Just saying, I'm looking forward to making a home for myself. I already have the warm fuzzy socks and all. So here is my pity party. But just so you know, I completely understand that how my life has turned out, and where I am at right this very minute was all based on the decisions I have made. I may never be okay with some of those decisions but I am slowly learning to deal with it like a big girl. I always say I can't wait to start my journey, but it has already began, a very long time ago. And it can be taken away very fast, as proven in another tragic accident in my home town. They need your prayers, and not my pity party. Because someone is always going through something a little bit harder than we are.

If I could write a letter to me...

I would say you should have studied a little bit harder the first go around. Maybe if you would have logged out of facebook, stayed home that night, and cleared your mind, maybe you would be a real working girl now. But I would also say, you can't look back. Should-a, could-a, would-a is a thing of the past. And we are already in today. You must suck it up and move on. Because you will get through it. You will sacrifice, you will miss out, you will lose some people you thought you would have had forever. And the end goal is worth far more than any of that. The end goal is your entire life. So don't give up.

Please don't let what people say bother you. I know you do more than anything else. But remember, they don't know you. They have no idea who you really are, and obviously don't care to try. But neither do you. The past might haunt you, but you made those decisions so you must learn to live with them. People will always say what they wish. But its up to you to be a bigger person. Never forget who you are, and those who matter most will always be at your side. Don't give up.

Step back and look at each and every situation. Think before you speak, and try to see every side of the story.  Because not everyone tells the truth, and not everyone has your best interest at heart. But try and not listen to all of those outside voices. They just get in the way, cause unnecessary drama, and mean nothing to you.

Let it go. You made a decision to say goodbye and felt the consequences. If you must look back, just look at the positive. And believe me, you will have no one on your side with this dilemma. In other words, you would never go into anything by yourself. Give it up. What happened will never be changed, and you have become a stronger person because of it.

Just remember, the sun will rise each and every morning, and God's plans are far better than we could imagine. Never stop praying.

image by blissfullydomestic.

Lean on Me

"Sometimes in our lives we all have pain, We all have sorrow, But if we are wise, We know that there's always tomorrow, Lean on me, when you're not strong, And I'll be your friend, I'll help you carry on
For it won't be long, 'Til I'm gonna need, Somebody to lean on..."

False reassurance is a big No No in the nursing world. You will most definitely get that answer wrong. It just means false hope, and we aren't allowed to give it. No everything might not be okay, and I don't know if they will make it out to see another day. The correct response? Tell me more about your feelings, or maybe you would like to talk to the surgeon? And we state facts. Plain and simple. Yeah plain and simple on the tests, but when it comes to real life, that books goes out the window. I am not a nurse yet, so false reassurance is what the world knows. I'm sure everything will be okay. You'll be fine. Now, if only it were like that. Only if we knew everything would be okay, then the reassurance wouldn't be false. It would just be reassurance, and it would be the truth.

I can say 100% false assurance feels better than no reassurance at all. Surely people know everything might not be okay, but just hearing that it might, seeing that small glimpse of hope, makes them feel a whole lot better. I think. I can kind of say that from experience. And I can know, and say I know. But I don't really know. I know that I need the facts, and in this world, the facts are buried too far down in the dirt.

Some things are not very assuring. Because the facts are plain and simple. The diagnoses are black and white. It is good or it is bad. Well sometimes at least. Its an evil world with evil lurking at the next turn. So I suppose if you are on the good side, the it is assuring. But most of us aren't. That dreaded C word I spoke about yesterday is most definitely in the grey area. Doctor says 5 months, it could be 5 years. Doctor says 5 years, it could be a long and grueling 5 months. We just don't know. But no one wants to hear that. We can't walk out of a room, and say sorry, I just don't know. Better luck next time. The outcome could either be really good or really bad, but everyone is different. And that is not false reassurance, that is just the truth.

Also a truth, God has it under control. No matter what happens. He never leaves our side, and is fighting the battle with us. His assurance is never false. His assurance is just what we need when no one else has an answer. So we give it to Him, and let Him do the work. This is His journey too. Its all just easier said than done isn't it?

Just keep a special family member in your prayers as they start a journey to regain what is rightfully their's.

"A penny for your thoughts...

Oh no, Ill see 'em for a dollar. " - perry.

I have realized some of posts have been a little on the downer side.

For starters my blog is a big vent for me. I love writing, and although I will not major in writing,  English, or journalism, I will always love writing venting. Sometimes your pen and paper, or in my case, my notepad on my cellphone, are my only out. Its too hard to explain the entire situation (whatever it might be). So I vent. And that is why here lately my posts haven't been extremely positive. I wear my heart on my sleeves, my expression slap dab on my face, and my mood is exactly what I am feeling. I have yet to figure out if that is a  good or bad quality, but I do know that is how God made me. So it must be okay.

I have also learned here lately that my God should be my only biggest influence. I'm not saying everyone is else wrong, I am just saying He is the only one who knows what is best. So of course that makes Him my best influence. Sure my family are great influences as well, but when it comes down to the nitty gritty, its me and God. And God trusts me to make that final decision. And I trust in Him as well.

Of course I take my family and friend's advice into consideration. I would be crazy not too, but in certain situations the influences are just too much too handle. And when you let other people influence your decisions then you have given up your right of being a strong individual. You have given that right to someone else, and the whole world just starts taking its turn rolling you over. Altogether, it makes things way more complicated than it should have been in the first place. I am sure I am a pretty passive person. But I also know that peer pressure or wrong influences aren't the best ideas.

I think when it gets too complicated and you have too many voices going through your head, then you lose what the real situation was all about to begin with. So you have to just step back and only trust in yourself and in God. Ill give it up to God. Because at the end of the day, He really is the best influence.

You can't always get what you want...

But if you try real hard, you'll get what you need.

Let's point out the important words to look for.

ALWAYS. Number one, never trust that word. Ever. Atleast that is what our teachers teach us, hoard at us, drill that into our brain. If we see that in an answer to a question, DO NOT choose it, keep on looking. Nothing in nursing can be as certain as to slap an ALWAYS on top of it. You will most certainly get that question WRONG.

WANT. That word is like the back bone to our being. We want want want. We can never have enough, its a constant battle. We are never satisfied, because there is always something, someone that is better than what we have and who we are or what we can whole heartedly give. We are never enough, never give enough, never have enough, never show enough.

TRY. Most people just expect life to happen. For everything that they always wanted to be handed to them. Just like that. No hard work, elbow grease needed. Just here you go. Here is everything you always wanted handed on a silver platter. Hope you enjoy. But maybe, just maybe if you TRIED a little harder, put a little effort into it, you yourself could get what you wanted for yourself. How much of a satisfaction would or could that bring? A LOT, if you ask me. A little effort sure could go a long way. You just have to want it, right? There is that want again. We always want what we can't have. It is that never ending battle. But maybe if we were the one's pursuing that want, and not someone else handing it to us, then the let down wouldn't be so bad. We wouldn't be disappointed in someone who couldn't pull through for us. It would just make us work that much harder for what we wanted, and we would just get it for ourselves. But we surely still aren't satisfied. GEEZ, I feel like I am running in circles here. I probably am. Almost dizzy, not quite though.

NEED. We always seem to want. But what about what we need? You know, those basics. Like air, water, food, shelter, clothing. I think if we focused on our needs we wouldn't be so let down with what we don't have. We could solely concentrate on things we need, and our lives would or could be almost fulfilled. NOT EVEN CLOSE. Wanting something is so much better, gives this high we get on Christmas morning before we tear open our neatly wrapped in matching wrapping paper with ribbons ever so intertwined so beautifully presents. I can see them now... Hm, maybe I should start my list now. What do I want, better yet need? If I looked at it like that, the list would surely be slim because I can't think of too many things that I really need. Maybe a new phone, because this broke down crackberry is messing with my last whit. But hey, it is working. It calls, it texts, it tweets, it facebooks, it freezes everyday x10 but it works against all my well wishes to politely run over it. So I guess I don't need a new phone. But I do want one.

Its a constant push and pull. want vs need. But maybe if we put in just a little effort and try with the things that we already have, that we worked so hard to get, because we wanted them, always wanted them more than we could even put into words, just try. Then maybe we wouldn't want so much. But life just isn't that simple. There is always something better. Or maybe not. I just don't trust ALWAYS. Too much of a promise, and the let down hurts really bad.

Free Fallin'

Right when you think you are about to hit the bottom, someone is there to catch you. Because you don't see it coming, you're expecting the worse, hoping for the best, then the more then worse slaps you right across the face. But right before you have time to break down and cry because it hurt so darn bad, those you love the most are right there cheering you on and watching your back. They will never let you fall. And if you do, they are running to your side to pick you back up.

And right when you think the bad news can only get worse, you hear the greatest news ever and all the bad stuff seems to disappear. Maybe not disappear, but it is just not as important as you thought it should be. Because the news makes you realize that there are far more important things in this world, and we need to let go of the stress every now and then.

That good/AWESOME news I was talking about is hiding right beneath this picture. Too bad, I can't/won't blog about it for a little while now.

Happy Wednesday!

"Happiness, feels a lot like sorrow, let it be, can't make it come or go, but you are gone, not for good but for now, gone for now feels a lot like gone for good." - the fray

these days are filled with anything but happiness, honestly, its more of the sorrow showing its evil ways. but in order to achieve such happiness would that mean someone else would have to be unhappy, or is there a common ground? Well could someone please point me into the direction of that road, because I obviously took a wrong turn and got lost. Story of my life. Word to the wise: I am horrible with directions. Top ten, world's worst. Tell me to take my first left, and if I see a road that probably isn't a road but more of a dirt/gravel area that is to the left, I will take it. You said first left, correct? Or maybe you said right, I mean it looks more familiar, I will go with right....dead end, turn around. It was definitely a left. I could have anyone turned around in a flash. My brain just analyzes things a little backwards and upside down. It usually takes a minimum of 3 times for me to find and actually know my way somewhere, and if I'm not driving you cannot count that to one of the 3 times. I probably wasn't paying attention. Okay so I'm lost, looking for the directions, and if anyone has a shortcut to may 2011 I would love it. because this road is getting more bumpy by the day, the storm is not letting up, and the grass has got to be greener on the other side of the huge mountain that awaits me. Surely it will be.

Quick pause for a question: How do you tell someone that you are unhappy when their entire world is full of sparklers and bright colors and a fairytale world? Is it selfish to even say anything? What if it has your whole world turned upside down? What if it took everything you knew from right beneath your feet, no warnings?

Surely, there is a middle ground. Well I can't find it because I have no way to escape it all. I'm stuck. My battery is too low to call and ask for a way out, and I'm getting tired of relying on everyone around me. Its my life, my responsibilities, my unhappiness, my struggles, my mishaps, my wrong decisions, and my missed turns. Here's to finding our happiness. Wish me luck.

got a little CHANGE in my pocket...

No really I don't. It kinda bogs down my pockets and I absolutely cannot stand things in my pockets. But I don't really carry a purse either. I was never a purse collector, I have a few favorites, a few go tos, but I am not a purse person, not a fancy bracelet wearer, or any of the sorts. I used to weigh myself down with chains and chains of long necklaces, and bangles upon bangles of bracelets but for now ill stick with my eternity necklace my mom gave me for my birthday a few years back, because as she said, "I will always be her baby." And my favorite friendship and braided bracelet that I got for 3 dollars at the beach. So no to purses, unless absolutely necessary, instead, I have my trusty key chain zipper pouch that houses all the essentials. Check card. Check. License. Check. Insurance card. Check. Sometimes cash. Check. Oh and keys. Check. And if I don't need my keys, the cards fit quite nicely into my boy's wallet or my bff's totally cute clutch. I know I have some somewhere, but I always forget to dig them out when I need them. Okay so nothing weighing down the pockets, the necks, or the wrists, all a little too much for me. I don't even have pockets on these ever so comfy shorts.

Oh back to that title. Change. That's a funny word. With several meanings. It is all in the eye of the beholder I suppose. Do people really change? Are we able to really deep down whole heartedly, 180 degree change? Or do people just become better or sometimes worse versions of who they are, have always been, who they always will be? Maybe that's all the same question. Because surely someone is always going to have a little bit of who they have always been embedded somewhere in all of that skin, and layers, and tissue, and organs, and stuff. (school is always on my mind). Maybe they do. I do. Sure I have changed. So to answer that, people can change, I think. They sure do have the ability to do so, it is just a matter of want, where, and when. With an emphasis on the want. And sure there are still pieces of me that I have always had, always will have. But I have changed, I am growing, I am always learning, I am constantly thinking and doing. I am ever changing. As long as my core is solid and stable, I think change is a good thing. But it must be a good change in order for it to be considered good, right? My solid foundation will always consist of me loving God with all of my heart, being a child deep down, loving all things pink,princesses, and floral. I love my family, friends, doing for others, laughing too loud, caring way too much, loving unconditionally, crying while watching full house, and sometimes showing that last child syndrome. Sure there is a lot more to me, but those are the basic things that make up a good bit of who I am. I am southern girl, with dreams as big the big blue sky. And I always will be. No matter where I might end up. But I have changed. Sometimes you have to in order to move on, live your life the way you have always dreamed of living it. I still at times have the ability to be naive, but I have learned that not every person is good. So watch out for those bad apples. I am for sure not as passive as I once considered myself to be. I have opinions, and I have a voice. I have changed in knowing that what other people think about you really doesn't and shouldn't matter. Or that is something I am still learning. Its a constant battle. A constant struggle, which goes back to that core of caring way too much. I have changed physically, mentally, and emotionally. But its all just a learning process. I don't trust as easily, I don't judge a book by its cover, and stand up to what I believe. I smile big, act goofy, and remember to never go to bed mad. But that's always been me. And I am no longer afraid to show it. So sure I have changed. I'm not the same person I was in middle school, when I let the bullies do the bullying, and the girls fight their catty fights. And for sure not the same girl from high school, who stood beside someone and got played for a fool...I pulled that knife out of my back a long time ago. >>For the record, God teaches us to forgive. I forgave. God teaches us to love. I love you more than you'll ever know. But he also teaches us that we do not have to be friends, and I never will.<< So yes, I have changed. But I am not a bad person because of it. I am a better person.

Girls just want to have FUN.

Last night we had a MUCH needed girls night. We started off at Art on the Rocks. >>> really neat little gathering at the birmingham art museum. food, fun, and drinks. Then we went to this awesome swank of a place called Above at Redmont Hotel. The bar was on top on the hotel. We ended up meeting some friends at another place in Lakeview and had a G R E A T time. I wish we had more nights like that to let our down, relax, and dance a little.

Highway 20 Ride

"So when you drive And the years go flying by I hope you smile If i ever cross your mind It was a pleasure of my life And i cherished every time And my whole world It begins and ends with you On that Highway 20 ride...." - Zac Brown Band.

Maybe this is a forbidden topic, but it is something that I don't mind talking about because it is a part of my life. Its not a bad thing, its just what happened. If you know and love this song like I do, then you know that it is talking about divorce. I remember the day like it was yesterday. My parents had my brother and sister and me sit on the couch for a family talk, and we didn't have those often. I was in the 2nd grade and I didn't fully understand what was going on, but I knew that it was a change, a big change. At the time though, I knew I had to be upset because my brother and sister were. But at the time I had no idea the impact it would have on my life. First things first, I see BOTH of my parents whenever and wherever I want. ALWAYS HAVE. I talk to my mom and dad both on a regular basis and have a wonderful relationship with both. I know that choices had to be made, and although I may never understand I will always support. I will always LOVE. I have/had a wonderful loving upbringing with two very supportive and caring parents. This song just takes me back to when I didn't know what was quite going on, but knew that everything was different. I suppose the stories we always hear about when we hear the word divorce aren't too positive. One of the parents is out of the picture and the children have a tough life ahead them. Mine wasn't like that and still isn't. But all too often I forget to remember how much my parents do for me. Have always done for me. I forget to say thank you. So thank you. I don't know why I wanted to write this post. I suppose it was because I heard this song earlier and I thought about my daddy. (in a good way, it brings back memories from when i was younger, and some of the things we went through after the divorce) All too often I forget to remember how much he does for me, and forget to remember that he rarely says no. I dont want to write about him with such a downer of a post but a few weeks ago, back when I had the 3 Happy Birthday/Mother's Day posts, he texted me and said he couldn't wait for his father's day post. So that is what I did. He didn't think I could come up with a top 10 list of things. Even though I know I could, I wrote something else instead. I would love to wait until father's day but because I already wrote it, I would like to share it in this post. I will forever be thankful for everything that my parents have done and sacrificed for me. I will always remember. So here it is and sorry I am not waiting until fathers day. I don't like surprises or waiting for something. Id rather share it when its ready. And sorry for the 2 poems back to back but its for my dad.

Once upon a time

I found your hand and held on tight

You looked at me so softly

It was a love at first sight

A little pink blanket

Snuggled up to you

Tickled me with your kisses

And said you loved me too

Sing your little lullaby

And put me right to bed

Hold me in the mornings

And always be my friend

Chase me around the playground

And push me on the swings

Put me on your shoulders

So I could see everything

Traveling to the softball park

Where you stood anxiously in the stands

You were my number one supporter

And always my biggest fan

I wasn't your favorite driver

But you never missed your turn

To let me take a spin

In your Ford Thunderbird

You watched me walk across the stage

And into my first place

But were always at a phone calls reach

And never too far away

From you Ive learned to do what's right

And to always do your best

I have learned you are the strongest man

And you have shown me nothing less

One day you will walk me down another path

But you will always be right beside me

Ill always be your scooter

And Ill forever be your baby.

I got friends in low places

Is one of my all time favorite songs to sing at karaoke. Just another song to remind me of everything that has been, everything that was college. I'm still in college but nothing is like it used to be. Some people are here, some are there, and the others are married with babies...or just married. I wasn't a huge fan of high school, although I had/have a very small group of friends that I still keep in touch with, the other majority of high school was just a nightmare. Maybe ill share that story one day. Or maybe not. I was pretty naïve, still am somedays, but college

really broke that shell...in a good way of course. Okay back to college. I absolutely loved living in Tuscaloosa, being a full time college student, and having the world at my fingertips. And the friendships I made are worth far more than other experience I went through before college.

Freshman year: ill always remember this year as the year that I met my roomies, my best friends, and my soul mates. I lost some loves, but gained far more that I will always be grateful for. I didn't have a care in the world, and that saying "college is where you find your true friends" really is the truth. I can pinpoint each time/place I met one of my great friends. I learned a lot freshman year, but mainly the people who you thought you knew you're entire life aren't really who they say they are... And that is okay, we are all in a better place now because of it I suppose. Trust didn't come as easily that year, but that too is something I've grown to learn how to do. I made some pretty strong decisions that year that I whole heartedly believe changed who I was and who I thought I was going to be. Freshman year was an incredible beginning for me. As much as I would love to go back and say what was really on my heart, I wouldn't change the experiences for anything. I'm here today because of them. this picture pretty much sums up mine and laurens relationship. it wasn't halloween.
Sophomore and Beyond:During that freshman year I met 2 pretty awesome girls. My roomies for life is what I like to call them, and the next 2.5 years were by far some of the absolute greatest times of my life. We all know football is huge at UA and living within walking distance of that stadium made football season that much sweeter. Just a few blocks down from that beloved stadium stood the cutest little green house. The kind you would find over looking the ocean, ours overlooked the stadium. For us that was okay too. It was lime green, full of spunk, and the doors were always open. No invitations were needed, and gatherings were held there on a pretty regular basis.Although we 3 girls went to high school together, they were best buds and still are, we didn't really start hanging out until college. All 3 of us are pretty different but meshed really well. Whitney's eye for fashion (any and all sorts) is very eccentric but I absolutely love her for it, and love it. She was the cleanest of us 3 and had her beloved vinnie that was bff with my minnie (those were our vw bugs). Now miss Lauren was our tiedyed wearing, hippy loving, arsty roommate that had a closet any girl would kill for. I think we all had a bit of an artsy side to us that brought us all that much closer. We understood eachother, what we were doing, and were normally right beside one another when we were doing it. Lauren always said I was the weird one (in the nicest way possible)... I do have some pretty strange quirks... I am kinda goofy, sometimes artsy, a little out-there, but always had the perfect song for when we needed it. :) I think that pretty well sums up my roomies. Each one of them one would drop whatever they were doing to be wherever I needed them to be, and each one means the world to me. Some of my favorite memories have always been us laying in one of our beds the morning after one of our long nights out divulging in the mishaps, loud laughs, and spilt drinks from the night before. Those stories I will forever remember, no matter how awful the night might have been. We more than likely got a major laugh out of it. Those 2 years had many other great memories. A lot of people came through that front door, a lot of tears were shed under that roof, and relationships were born around that kitchen table. Lauren and Whitney taught me so much about life, love, and happiness those 2 years...and that's a major understatement. Ha. and in true Whitney fashion. AND yes we had blown up pictures of our faces hanging up behind our couch.
Beyond:We moved out of the green house on a warm sunny day, and it hadn't hit me that our time as college students, living our dreams, were slowly coming to an end. I moved to a one bedroom apt, started nursing school that fall, then moved back home that christmas. In one short year, my world was turned around backwards and upside down and I often just sat and wondered what happened to it all? It went by faster than I could ever imagine.
I met several other people that I still keep in contact with on a regular basis but for now I just wanted to talk about my roomies and how awesome they are and the 3 years before the drama of nursing school started. I love talking about college and how it made me who I am today. Ill always hold the memories so very tightly.

this picture was from 4th of july a few years back. love it. and had to put it up since im leaving for the beach thursday.

Hey Soul Sister...

Song of the month - hey soul sister - train and american honey - lady A
My go-to outfit - comfy shorts, an oversize t-shirt, and my worn in tevas
If you happen to find me out you will find me in- skinnies, a blousy/flowy shirt, flats, and my favorite rings.
On my ipod you will catch me playing-words with friends... My username is lablackburn.
Show to watch - the hills!!! Final season. Sorry I'm one of those suckers for reality tv kinds of people
When I'm not in school you will find me- hanging with the fam or with my favorite boy...which isn't often because school has me hostage for the next year
Books I love to read- Emily Giffin of course... Just waiting on the 5th one. Fun fact (or odd) if its got a romantic little plot, which a lot do, then I will glimpse/skim through the last chapters and if this couple is not still together then I will not read the book. Call me crazy, but I will not waste my time putting my heart and soul into this story line for my heart to be broken. Oh and surprises are not for me. Sorry.
A song that will forever have my heart- element- matthew mayfield... Check him out. Love him
In my car you will find- books by the dozens, my bag for work, cds, sunglasses, and my carseat for my little
My closet is- color coordinated... Just wish I could keep everything else that neat
My next purchase- maybe a swimsuit... Beach next week! Or some scrubs for work
My go to feeling like I could rule the world song - fearless by colbie callait
Something I'm always craving - the sunshine
I can't wait - to graduateeeee!
If I am in school and not studying you will probably catch me- SNOOZING. Can't get enough of that these days.

Someone I miss - MY ROOMIES FROM TTOWN!!! I don't get to see them enough but love them dearly.

lauren, whitney, me.

Nothings sweeter than SUMMERTIME...

And American honey. Well I do not really care for honey, but I love summertime. Honey is a little too thick and a lot too sticky. Summer, on the other hand, is sweet and breezy. My love for summer started long before I was born, I do believe. See, every year, the 3rd week in August, my family goes to Gulf Shores. I have been going since I was in my mama's belly and have loved it ever since. Naps on the beach are like no other, and the perfect ham sandwich always hits the spot. I am normally a turkey sandwich person, but a ham sandwich is hard to pass up on the beach...and a big blue gatorade of course!! Up until a few years ago, we stayed at Emerald Shores in the same beach side/3 bedroom condo. It was like a second home to me, so I was sad when it was sold to the high rises that are slowly taking over our beautiful beach. Pier 33 was our within walking distance grocery store, and being tall enough to finally drive my own go-kart is one of my fondest memories. The fair closed down years ago, and instead of walking to Peir 33, we walk to Sea N Suds atleast twice during our week long stay. These memories will never grow old, only better as new ones are made each year. The thought of summertime makes me giddy inside and actually feeling the sand between my toes is like nothing else. Summer is my safe haven, my christmas morning, and my absolute favorite time of the year. One day I hope to own a house or condo on the beach so I can experience summertime whenever I want to. Thank you summer for finally making your appearance. love you.