Be still

I'm not sure if I'll ever learn that I can't control things, because plans will change. I've recently started reading the devotional, Jesus Calling. I love that everyday it speaks exactly what I need to hear whether I want to hear it or not. I read it, but do I really soak in the words? Sometimes I do, and sometimes I still have a hard time trusting in those devotions. Trust has become increasingly hard lately. With each let down, it's another lost hope. It's another plan that's been broken. This house stuff is absolutely one of the most stressful things I've ever done and I chose to do it. Each day when you think you're almost to the end, something changes that we have zero control over. So many things and people and pieces of paper go into this whole process and I only know one side. I don't always trust the process but that means I don't trust in God and that makes me feel horrible. In all the chaos and life changes, He has never changed and never faulted. Today's devotional couldn't have been more on point. This life isn't scattered although I like to act like it is and the more I realize that the closer I'll be to a life of contentment with God. That's a life to love and a trust I pray for daily. I really think May is going to be a grand month and I'm looking forward to it. I hope you all are too! Happy May Day! 

Letting it go.

God teaches us to give Him our burdens. We are told to let go and let God. I think it's easier said than done. We are also taught our whole lives to fight for what we believe in, stand up for what we feel in our heart to be the truth. This is where it gets tricky. Do we fight, or do we let it go? If we do let it go, how in the world do we even do that? That is something that I have been struggling with lately. Letting it go... not fighting and giving it all to God. Fighting for what you love when you're the only one fighting is a tough battle, a battle that will most likely not end in your favor. Maybe it doesn't end the way we have it planned because it's not in God's plans. His plans are far greater, although my patience level tends to steer towards doing it all myself. I've been following along with another blogger in her "I'm ok, 30 days to becoming content where you are." She has some wonderful advice and lots of scriptures that have helped in these trying times. 

She writes, "The truth is majority of the time we just want God to magically fix everything without having to endure the refining process... But, where is His glory revealed in that? First of all, we’re not worthy of that and second, I take comfort in knowing He disciplines those He loves. In the discipline we find ourselves curled up at His feet, feeding on His every truth."

Especially here lately I feel that I have had no answers and it's a constant battle that I'm not so sure I can withstand. God sees it totally different. One of my best friends sent me a quote, "When you are down to nothing, God is up to something." Everyday I cling to those words. Everyday I pray that today will be a new day for me to find comfort in His plans, because mine are no good anyways. I'm not alone in my fight because today I will give it to God to fight it for me.

Click on the link below to follow along with her. You won't be disappointed. 

Hair today, gone tomorrow

But not in a Nair kind of way.

I have never used Nair. I have super sensitive skin so can't even begin to imagine the kind of damage that would do to my already bothersome skin problems. But not nearly the damage chemotherapy does to those loved ones of ours fighting the battle. Cancer. It just isn't fair. Sure it is killing those cancer cells and ultimately healing the cancer, but does it have to take their hair too? Maybe that's just the price to pay. I can't speak for anyone in regards to this. I can't say at least it's not something else. Hair is a big deal. I complain about mine on a weekly daily basis, but I would be devastated without it. It is such a security blanket, and the thought of going without, well that should never cross our minds. I've spoken about this before. Right here. And I have said it is just hair, it should not define who we are, but it does let the world know that our battles are probably greater than theirs and it puts us in a much more vulnerable position. Not because we let it, but because everyone knows what it means, what it stands for. I can't say don't let it define you. I am grateful to have never had that weighing on my mind. But it does to millions of people every single day. It does to those closest to us. It does to one very special lady. We wish we could take those added burdens away, but we can't. However, we can pray with all we have and give it all to God, because one day it will come back just as beautiful as before. And that it will, because the battle might temporarily take our hair, but only for a moment. Most changes are scary changes. Big or small. Long or short. We just can't stop praying and we won't.

let go and let GOD

Sometimes I forget to read my Bible, and I can't remember the last time I took a little time out of this life for just me and God. I do my best to say my prayers each and everyday, but sometimes I just forget, am too tired, or have so much going on that I don't. Ill get to it later or so I say. But here lately, I've been doing just the opposite. No matter how tired I am or what is going on, I have to always remember to say my prayers. I don't think God really minds what time of the day it is. So my next task at hand is to read my Bible. I love reading it, but I always seem to put it off. I don't know why, but it is a bad habit that I need to break. Maybe if I take a little time out of my day to do so, I mean I am always reading stuff on this phone of mine. I think it will be good for me. We could all use a little fresh beginning. Here lately, well for the past few years I have been rather stressed out to the MAX. And it is easier said than done to let all of those stressors go and just focus on the good in life. But it has come to my attention like a ton of bricks that I will lose everyone and everything around me if I continue to throw my stresses on them. Sure we need people to rely on, we need people to help pick us up off of the ground time and time again. But throwing every stressor at them when they probably have just as much as me just isn't fair. I know everyone has their way of dealing with stress but too much can knock someone down for good. I'm not saying I'm going to bottle everything up and hold it in. Because as noticed and mentioned last night, I do and have always worn my heart and my emotions on my sleeve. What I am saying is that I will try and not let my emotions and my stress effect my life and those around me so much that it causes strain, tension, or a lost love. I will make sure that I focus on their feelings too, and I will choose my battles, give my stress to God, and let go. It might be one of the hardest things to do in life, but life is partly the battles we face that make us who we are right now. So today ill let go and let God take control.