The girl in blue.

Where I work is color coordinated.

Huh?

That just means each department wears a specific color.

Nurses; navy and/or white, Nursing Assistants; grey, Respiratory Therapy; Brown, Pharmacy; Black,
Physical Therapy; Green.

See?

Actually, I don't mind it. I only have to buy a specific color so it lays off the time spents shopping for scrubs, which is a lot more time consuming than I imagined. Also, I like the color choices.

Oh, so I went from the grey scrubs to the navy and/or white scrubs OFFICIALLY on Wednesday.

I actually didn't expect to be as nervous as I was. I have been there almost 2 years so it isn't new territory. However, I did feel like it was the first day of high school all over again. Have I ever mentioned how much high school was not for me? Well if I haven't there you go. I guess I was just over thinking the first day, which is pretty typical, and it ended up being JUST FINE. We had a math test that morning, and learned all about policies throughout the day. I start working on the floor TOMORROW.

Im still studying for my nursing boards or the N-CLEX or that big test I have to pass in order to be a licensed Registered Nurse, and not just a temp.

eeeeeeeeeeekk.

Happy Thursday, soon to be Friday!

Where in the world...

image

have I been??

Everywhere but here.

 Well, not so much.

But I have been rather busy.

I had test number 3 today.

Which means what?

Oh yeah...

1 more test and 1 final and I will be heading

to the awesomeness of FIFTH SEMESTER.

to anyone keeping track,

that is the last semester of 

NURSING SCHOOL. 

WHOA.

test #1.

sorry for the MIA-ness lately. test number 1 was this morning, so we all know I was having withdrawals from my blogging world as I tried to study.

also, please keep the Ezell family in your prayers. they need them more than ever.

one two three FOUR

I think being in school one week is plenty time to update everyone on 4th semester! But hey, do you know what that means? Everybody look to your right... You see it? Yes the countdown is counting away, the numbers are getting smaller as we sit here together. I could sit and watch this forever. But I would probably go crazy, even more crazy than I already am,
because that is for sure possible.

See I have been taking my life day by day, I dream about the future all the time, but quickly remind myself if I want to get there then I must focus on today. Because today, in this very moment, is all we have. Gah, I say that a lot. But it is beyond the truth. I also have been praying constantly. And I feel like when I don't, that mean ole devil sticks his nasty nose in my business. Really?? I don't have time for you, so long! Also, I am trying to work out, but right now that consists of playing tennis. I sweat profusely, my heart is pounding, so I think I can consider it a pretty good workout. Just have to keep it up! I laugh off the negativity, and take a deep breath before I say something I might regret. Right now, my priority is school, and I will figure the rest out may 11th. ***Yes jessica that is your birthday, but also the day after I graduate! I will probably still be crying tears of happiness for your big day! Okay, back to today! See, there I go, but I am back.

So, let's talk about 4th semester.
The one after the easy smeasy 3rd semester,
and the one right before the ever so anticipated,
don't stop until you drop,
5th semester.

We go to class one day a week.
Pros: hello, class once a week!
Cons: more time for me to do anything but school,
because the motivation is at an all time low. My first test is not for a whole month. I mean, seriously, what am I supposed to do? Not to mention, clinicals don't start until October. I know I have it made this semester, it is just a matter on staying on top of my game,
and not looking back.

On more nursing news, this morning we had a meet and greet breakfast with the newbies. You know, those new RN students, who are secretly shaking in their brand new back to school shoes, but really have NO idea what their lives are about to come to. Gear up for the change people, because it will hit you whether you are ready or not. So today we met them, and for once I was not the new fish. I was, I am an upper division nursing student. My advice: make note cards. Seriously, that is the key if you are a note card person. But secretly, I am so thankful that I have finally made it to the other side. I could cry I am so happy, but ill save the tears. Who knows what is heading my way.

Monday Mayhem

I will give you a quick glimpse into my not so fun, but can't wait until it is over with, holy crap I have 2 tests, WEEK.
Monday: class, lunch with dad......[insert nap here] STUDY let's also insert lost checkcard, and forgotten keys at lunch. in my super sarcastic tone: YAY FOR MONDAY!
Tuesday: STUDY all day
Wednesday: test 4 that I have had very little time to prepare for.
Thursday: STUDY all day
Friday: FINAL on stuff that got taken from my memory bank weeks ago!! Ill be on a major hunt Thursday to find all of the information. I have too many nursing file cabinets in my brain, with no time to organize!
Friday after the final: PACK, wash clothes, clean my room... I hate leaving and going on vacay, then coming home to a yuck room. So it must be done because Saturday I am leaving for the beach!! I am so excited. Well if you search far enough in my brain you will find the excitement. Right now, holding steady in the front is school, the beach is underneath all the chaos!

CHEERS...

Can I post the same blog twice? I posted just a few days ago about letting go and letting God. I used that lesson this week. Actually that lesson back fired. Sometimes I push too much. Sometimes I care too much. Sometimes I want too much. I can't help but wear those emotions. I smile too big, I cry way too hard, and I love way too deep. I give in, I take back, I hold on and can't let go. When does what we need become a want, when does what we want become too much, and when do we need to let go because what we want is not what we need? Gah, that makes no sense. I have what I want. But is it what I need? Maybe that makes it a little bit clearer. I am such a rambler. I over analyze everything. I think that's why I am in such an emotional tornado right this very moment. Because the wheels in my brain wont stop turning. I over think every step. Read in way too much then mess everything up along the way. Or that's how it feels atleast. Its because when you have worked so hard for everything that you want and have, you are so afraid of letting it all go. So you think, wonder, ponder, analyze, and try to remember and go over every situation, every detail. Oh, and push everyone away in the process. So when does the cycle end? When do we let go, and trust in ourselves, each other, in God? RIGHT NOW...

Because as mentioned in an earlier post everything
can be taken from us in an instant.

And that is no fun.

What else is no fun? Studying, studying everyday of my life. Living off of red bulls and monsters. Not sleeping at night, waking up with heart palpitations, heavy breathing, and an overt feeling of suffocation. And all for what? Oh yeah, that future of mine. That thing called a career. 3 tests, 2 weeks, unlimited cans of energy drinks, loss of vision due to all the excessive reading of the tiny little writing in a horribly, written for a doctor, book. Agh, the love of school. And the life you are trying to hold together outside of school. So I will make a toast,

Here's to keeping it together, only wanting what we need, slacking off on all of the energy drinks, and letting God take full control. Cheers.

a picture is worth a thousand words.

I am studying. Today, yesterday, last week, 2 weeks ago, and tomorrow. TEST monday.