Good changes.

Some days I feel like I'm in over my head with this whole house thing. I saved for months but I don't think you can really prepare yourself for every expense if you're a first timer like me. Unless, of course, you have unlimited funds.... I do not. I wanted to buy a house because I needed to feel some sort of normalcy. Moving every year was getting old & I wanted to call somewhere home. I've always had a roof over my head but nowhere has felt like home since we moved from the house I grew up in. Now I have it and even still, I'm like what did I get myself into? I prayed daily throughout the whole process for God to stop it if it wasn't for me. Turns out, just the opposite happened. Long story short, one of the dogwood trees in my front yard came from a seedling transplant from a church I grew up going to (that is now closed). Although I hate so much needing the reassurance, because so much had changed, God  knew all along. He just saw my plans a little differently.

Oh I have a new job too. I loved working in CICU. I really never put much thought into anything different. My coworkers are like family, picking me up at my weakest moments. However, I prayed & God led me in a different direction. I asked that if He was going to close these doors I thought would be open for forever then I needed to know why & where He wanted me to be. The next day I was approached & I decided to run with it. I know most of us were approached for this job, but the timing was pretty spot on & I didn't want to miss this new opportunity. Fast forward a few weeks to this past week, & I officially started my new job in the cath lab. I'm still not sure why He led me in this direction but I know my nursing knowledge will expand so much. So often I hold onto what I know in fear of any change, but these new changes couldn't have come at a better time. 

Now, every morning I get to sit outside, do a little reading and hang with the pups before work. Each day I am reminded just how awesome our God really is. All the time. 

San Antonio!

 I was so excited as soon as I stepped off that airplane. I couldn't get to my luggage fast enough. Seeing my brother and sister in law was just what this girl needed. We started our first night at the The Taste of the Northside, one of the many events for Fiesta. 

 Meghan and I did some shopping while Daniel worked then on Friday we went to the Battle of the Flowers parade. It is one of the largest parades in the country. 

 On Saturday we went to see the Alamo

 and were super tourists on the River Walk boat tour. 

 I found this awesome hospital on the river walk... I think I could definitely see myself working here ;)

 Casa Rio was delish, but I didn't have bad meal while I was there. 

 Sunday Funday's always include brunch, and I give Feast two thumbs up. 

 The Other Woman is a must see and a dinner and a movie in one is so cool. We need places like this in Alabama ASAP. 

 

 And of course, I had to bring a little Texas to my new home coming soon! 

I can't wait to see these two again! 

Weekend Snaps

After work Friday, I grabbed dinner and drinks with one of the best. Seriously, you can never go wrong with some mexican food. 

 I haven't spent this much time at the baseball park in years. It was nice to do a little reminiscing. I watched my nephew on Saturday  

 and Sunday headed to Tuscaloosa to cheer for the competition. 

 I don't mind cheering for Auburn when this guy is playing. War Eagle is still a little tough so we just stick to War Connor. 

Hope everyone had a great weekend. This week starts my super SUPER busy two weeks and I am so looking forward to it. Texas and a closing coming up! 

Because facebook says so...

Today is "National Siblings Day." I'm not sure where they come up with these things but some are pretty fun to play along with. I love my brothers and sisters and couldn't be more thankful for them. Good days and bad, they are pushing me right along. I wouldn't have made this far without them. 

New day. New do.

My sister in law's sweet sister gave me a new do. Seriously, I lost inches and I feel like a new lady. I love the whole ombré look but I've been terrified to try it, so Ariel went with a toned down version to ease me into it. It's hard to tell from pictures but I think it turned out great. If you're in the area, check her out. It's amazing what a new haircut can do for a girl. 

New day. New do. New me.

Before & After. 

Every little thing will be alright

I started blogging again because I wanted to blog about the exciting changes that were happening in my life. I have a job that I love, I'm closing on my very own home in less than a month now, and I was sharing my life with someone who I love dearly.... But I also have always kept this blog like a diary. Did I expect to ever be writing like this again? Absolutely not. For me, writing is therapy. So I can't apologize if sometimes this blog is like a Debbie downer. Although I try to see the positive in every situation, sometimes I just need to let it out....

I'm never good with change. I don't think I can blog about it enough. I think heartache is like having your tonsils out. The older you are, the harder the aftermath. Maybe it's the thought of starting over, again. Maybe it's the reality that I'm not living the plans I imagined. I steered off that course along time ago. Through each situation I try to not do anything out of spite and I never have wanted to feel empowered over someone. Making myself feel better isn't a priority I strive to receive. Maybe I should, but it's just never been how I deal with situations. I am, however, sometimes too nice and give everyone the benefit of the doubt. I see the good. Right now some would say I have it all, but I beg to differ. I try daily to remember that His plan is greater but my heart is bruised. At 18, if you asked how my life would be at 27 this wouldn't have been it. I, again, don't make those plans. I only follow them, sometimes screaming and fighting. I've been given the answers I so desperately crave and I am still having the hardest time putting one foot in front of the other. Do I realize that many others have it way worse than I? Of course. But today, these are my struggles, and they are very real. Growing up I never wanted to feel like I needed someone to help me through life. Do I love companionship and having someone there, of course. I love the idea of sharing my life with someone, married or not. However, right now I'm having to learn just the opposite. I thought I was starting a new chapter with someone. Plans change and people do too. I can't live with the idea of not starting this chapter because I'm no longer sharing it with someone. I can't halt my life because someone halted theirs. I pray every single day for the right decisions. Right now I'm hating the answers, I really am. However, I know that I need to figure this journey out by myself. I can start a chapter without the rock I so desperately loved, because that rock crumbled. Luckily for me, my God's rock will never fault me. I may not see His plans because my eyes are a little teary, but I will try living it. Every single day. 

Girl's Night!

I'm clearly a terrible blogger. I don't have too much new going on, but things are pretty grand. I went out with my good friend Suzanne and made some new great friends too. We had an absolute blast! Oh, and in just a few short weeks, Suzanne and I are hopping on a plane to NEW YORK CITY! We are so excited. Any must dos while there?

Instagram in review

My sister and me...How good does she look after 3 of the most beautiful babies?

Here is number 3, all ready for gameday. RTR

Daniel & Meghan one night on the town.

I remember this night, I worked 16 hours. I needed a donut...or two.

She is just too kind talking about me like that.

My sweet little pup turns 6 next Tuesday.

Truth.

I love this song, have you heard it?

No, I didn't go to beach, my Daddy did. Lucky.

I was cancelled from work. YEAH.

Look at this snuggle buddy. We could just eat her right up.

I was very happy to have my Lula girl home after her mini vacay Labor Day weekend.

                              She isn't a fan of pictures these days!                              

No, Judson doesn't have a tough life. All he ever wanted was to hold his little sister. Poor fella.

Ryleigh is a girl after my own heart, look at that pose!

Happy Wednesday, Y'all! I'm off to dinner with my new engaged friend. 

                                                                                        

To my Dad.

I always seem to be one day late. I am terrible at that "photoaday" on Instagram because I am always posting my days... late. Well, I don't think my Dad will be to upset, because he secretly loves making appearances on the blooog. He is my #1 reader, and I am sure my biggest fan. I am one blessed girl, and I just don't think a girl could have a better Dad. Happy Father's Day, one day late. :)

Some bunny has a birthday coming up...

Even Ryleigh can't believe she is turning 4! No really, my niece is turning four on THURSDAY and I just can't believe it.

When I got back from the beach, I helped her with her party invites. Just look at her, cutest little three year old I know.

Then I taught her a little bit about bugs. Too bad, this Aunt Sissy is terrified of most creepy crawly creatures. But this picture makes me happy. I'm so grateful to be an aunt to my niece and nephews and I can't wait to celebrate Saturday for the birthday girl!

all we have to do is believe.

Everything happens for a reason.
All we have to do is believe.
Sometimes that just doesn't feel like enough.

Although we may question and always wonder, whatever is going to happen will happen.

I question.
Its only normal.
We wonder what led us here.
Or not so much what led us, but why we were led in this direction.
I know what.
I talk about it all the time.
It was those choices, the ones I made.

But why?
I seem to always need an answer.
For everything. Whether I like it or not. It is that over analyzer thing going on.
I either need an answer, or I will figure out one on my own.
That's why I like google so much.
It seriously has an answer for everything. Well, almost everything.
The big important questions I can't ever seem to find on google, or bing, or yahoo.  
And let's be clear, I am very partial to google. Those are just the other websites for anyone else who might use them instead.
So I have to search a little deeper.

Why?

I don't want to question, but I do.

I don't have every answer to that question.  However, I am coming to a new chapter in my life.One that several friends have already begun.One that doesn't involve class, late night study parties, and too many red bulls.No, it involves the real world.The life after the madness, or maybe that is when the real madness begins.No one really knows for sure.Google sure doesn't have that answer.Let's be honest, I just knew I would be settled down at this point. And by settled, we are talking settled, close to a future with someone else.Let's be even more honest, that is nowhere in sight.Of course, I know what happened.I even know some of the why. But the big picture, I still questioned. Until the other day. I am going to be a little corny. I always knew, or thought that I knew that  my brothers and sister and I would have children and a family around the same age. You know, so they could all grow up with one another.I love the bond of close families.I think it is one of the most special things EVER. It makes me happy. I always dreamed that is how my life would play out. Well, like mentioned earlier, I am nowhere near that stage in my life.So the niece and nephews might help raising my littles one day. That is okay too.I know we still be as close as we are.But what is even better? The bond I have with some very special little ones. It is a bond I talk about very much, because no one could ever put into words how it makes me feel. I know that if I were to be settled down, or in a different place right this moment, that bond would not be nearly as close.I am thankful to still be just a college student, and just a part time worker. I can see them whenever I want. And I do.Because I love playing in tents, and running from the monsters, and watching Cinderella 3 days in a row. I promise you, I wouldn't trade it for the world.

So I don't need an answer.
I don't need to know why.
My why is pretty clear these days.

walking like a one man army...

You ever feel like you have something to tell someone but you don't, and before you can get around to it, it's too late? I have felt like that. However, for the most part I wear my heart on my sleeve. I say what I feel. I might have wished I didn't say it, but more than not I say it anyways. With a big gulp, I just do it. I would rather say it now then it be too late tomorrow. Nonetheless, there have  been plenty of times when I did not always say what I felt or what I should have said. Have you heard the song by mr John Mayer?
He says it clear as day.

...Say what you need to say...

Lately, or ALWAYS, I reflect on everything. 

So with everything going on recently, it is only natural to do some extra reflecting.

A little searching,

I am always wondering what I could have done or said differently.

I know that we should not dwell on the past, 

maybe we should just take a quick look back to see how far we have come.
It might be dangerous.
It might be scary.
But I have tried the not looking back thing and I'm too nosy not to turn around.
So I will take a glance at what used to be.

And afterwards,
I will say what I need to say.
I will feel what I have to feel.
you should too...

after all, tomorrow is never a guarantee.

And because I am partially obsessed with the guy who the wrote the song, I will take a look at the all the handsome pictures of him too.

now, welcome to my world. ha.

Have no fear for giving in
Have no fear for giving over
You'd better know that in the end
Its better to say too much
Than never to say what you need to say again

Even if your hands are shaking
And your faith is broken
Even as the eyes are closing
Do it with a heart wide open

Say what you need to say...

A recap with photos.

Thursday, my sister and I took Ryleigh to the mall for one last girls trip before Judson came home. We rode the carousel TWICE,
and of course had a few cookies.

Friday, Judson got to come home.

Ryleigh was one very excited big sister,

and LOVES to help.

On Saturday, we grilled out, hung out, and lounged around.

We all enjoy Judson being home very much,

and are so thankful that he was able to join us.

God is so good.