my WEEKEND recap

on a Saturday. I was supposed to work both yesterday and today,
but I was called off both days. I think that means I should be studying more for the
3 huge tests coming up but for now
I am going to introduce the
newest
ADDITION.
As much as I would love to take total claim, I am not allowed, but
I will take partial ownership. And as cute as she would look in all pink,
I am not allowed to do that either. So, for now she is sporting orange and blue,
against my well wishes of course.
Although, she looks so darn cute in it.
She is sweet, calm, loving, fun, and already has a
BIG sister.
She was born May 2, and is the sweetest golden retriever around.
Her name is not Stella Mae Ruby, as I would have liked her to be named, but just
STELLA.

favorite thing about today #4

hanging with this lil' girl made my day.

favorite thing about today #3

my favorite thing about today was...

getting to paint my fingernails of course. see, with clinicals we CAN only wear clear polish. but i love to keep my nails painted, soooo since today was pretty much our last clinical day, I PAINTED THEM. and the blue is for the summer. :)

my favorite thing about today #2

eating lunch with my daddy. he is for sure mr. rational, something i sometimes forget how to be. and it is just one of the reasons i love him so much. and because this picture looks like something i would have drawn as a little girl. or even now. :)

let go and let GOD

Sometimes I forget to read my Bible, and I can't remember the last time I took a little time out of this life for just me and God. I do my best to say my prayers each and everyday, but sometimes I just forget, am too tired, or have so much going on that I don't. Ill get to it later or so I say. But here lately, I've been doing just the opposite. No matter how tired I am or what is going on, I have to always remember to say my prayers. I don't think God really minds what time of the day it is. So my next task at hand is to read my Bible. I love reading it, but I always seem to put it off. I don't know why, but it is a bad habit that I need to break. Maybe if I take a little time out of my day to do so, I mean I am always reading stuff on this phone of mine. I think it will be good for me. We could all use a little fresh beginning. Here lately, well for the past few years I have been rather stressed out to the MAX. And it is easier said than done to let all of those stressors go and just focus on the good in life. But it has come to my attention like a ton of bricks that I will lose everyone and everything around me if I continue to throw my stresses on them. Sure we need people to rely on, we need people to help pick us up off of the ground time and time again. But throwing every stressor at them when they probably have just as much as me just isn't fair. I know everyone has their way of dealing with stress but too much can knock someone down for good. I'm not saying I'm going to bottle everything up and hold it in. Because as noticed and mentioned last night, I do and have always worn my heart and my emotions on my sleeve. What I am saying is that I will try and not let my emotions and my stress effect my life and those around me so much that it causes strain, tension, or a lost love. I will make sure that I focus on their feelings too, and I will choose my battles, give my stress to God, and let go. It might be one of the hardest things to do in life, but life is partly the battles we face that make us who we are right now. So today ill let go and let God take control.

my favorite thing about today #1

I was stalking/reading some other blogs when I came across a pretty simple, but fun little series. It is called "my favorite thing about today." Pretty self explanatory, huh? I constantly find myself coming up with everything bad that is going on in my life, and in the world today. So instead, I will take one post for the day and make sure it contains something positive. Mostly, I am a pretty positive person, but everyone has their days that aren't so chipper. I have had my share, along with everyone else but this post wont be for that! I might not update it everyday but I will try, just for you. So here it is.

My favorite thing about today was...

hanging with this little squirt. sure, I have probably posted this picture before, but it pretty much sums up our little relationship. i can't get enough of her, and she always makes me smile. she turns my frown upside down. she is the cheese to my macaroni, and the minnie to my mouse. ha. those are some of our faves. but today she brought me much happiness that i am forever grateful for.

"Happiness, feels a lot like sorrow, let it be, can't make it come or go, but you are gone, not for good but for now, gone for now feels a lot like gone for good." - the fray

these days are filled with anything but happiness, honestly, its more of the sorrow showing its evil ways. but in order to achieve such happiness would that mean someone else would have to be unhappy, or is there a common ground? Well could someone please point me into the direction of that road, because I obviously took a wrong turn and got lost. Story of my life. Word to the wise: I am horrible with directions. Top ten, world's worst. Tell me to take my first left, and if I see a road that probably isn't a road but more of a dirt/gravel area that is to the left, I will take it. You said first left, correct? Or maybe you said right, I mean it looks more familiar, I will go with right....dead end, turn around. It was definitely a left. I could have anyone turned around in a flash. My brain just analyzes things a little backwards and upside down. It usually takes a minimum of 3 times for me to find and actually know my way somewhere, and if I'm not driving you cannot count that to one of the 3 times. I probably wasn't paying attention. Okay so I'm lost, looking for the directions, and if anyone has a shortcut to may 2011 I would love it. because this road is getting more bumpy by the day, the storm is not letting up, and the grass has got to be greener on the other side of the huge mountain that awaits me. Surely it will be.

Quick pause for a question: How do you tell someone that you are unhappy when their entire world is full of sparklers and bright colors and a fairytale world? Is it selfish to even say anything? What if it has your whole world turned upside down? What if it took everything you knew from right beneath your feet, no warnings?

Surely, there is a middle ground. Well I can't find it because I have no way to escape it all. I'm stuck. My battery is too low to call and ask for a way out, and I'm getting tired of relying on everyone around me. Its my life, my responsibilities, my unhappiness, my struggles, my mishaps, my wrong decisions, and my missed turns. Here's to finding our happiness. Wish me luck.