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I'm not sure anything I could write would do her justice. Every Wednesday we would go to the grocery store and the bank for my grandmother when I was a little girl. She taught me at an early age how to bag groceries (and you never put non food items with food, ever). We made candy every year before Christmas (although I still am terrible at stirring the fudge for the full 5 minutes or understanding a rolling boil) and she could wrap a Christmas present with only 4 pieces of tape (seriously). So many of my childhood memories have her in them, and adult ones too. She let me share her bed and twist her hair every night. She had vanilla ice cream with chocolate syrup waiting too, and taco salad is always served with Doritos thanks to her (You should try it). Really, the memories are endless. Aunt Lynn was our biggest fan in all aspects of life. She even cheered for Auburn once despite her love of Alabama. She is the best aunt this girl could have and I can only hope my relationship with my nieces and nephews is just as grand. I never in one million years expected to write this, but my heart is so heavy. When she was diagnosed with cancer a little over 5 years ago she would always say that this too shall pass, and it did. She was such the fighter. She was our rock, our potato salad maker, and the only one with her head on straight. She kept our chaotic worlds so constant and so strong. This growing up thing is for the birds, but right now she would tell us that it was her time and God makes no mistakes and today He took her home (and despite how sad we are, that makes me smile, because I hear her saying it). I can not wait to see her again. Please remember our family in your thoughts and prayers. Our hearts are broken beyond words. 

Cheers!

2015 ended on a high and 2446 miles away from home. It's not where I thought I would be when the year began, but I couldn't imagine myself anywhere else.

So here are 15 things I learned in 2015 -

1. Going without social media was well worth it, but having it now is such a blessing for face timing and keeping up with family back home! 

2. Having someone to kiss on NYE will get you nowhere if they continue to be a toad - Just Sayin'

3. Yard work will never be my niche in life, ever!

4. Owning my own home is STILL a dream come true.

5. Lunch with old high school friends was a great reminder that forgiveness is key. 

6. My family will always be the best support system this girl could have.

7. My friends, too.

8. Traveling was by far the best decision for me no matter the obstacles.

9. Life long friends come at any age, ethnicity, or city and I am so thankful for them - especially if they meet you at Esteban's in Texas. 

10. Exploring big cities and dinners by yourself are so what every 20 something girl needs in their life - so true!

11. Writing will always be my sanity!

12. Dogs need lots of medicines for boarding an aircraft - been there.

13. So do their humans (if traveling with them).

14. I may never learn to properly pack for 13 weeks

15. Living for myself FIRST might always be my biggest challenge, but I know I've sure come a long way in the last 365 days!

My mom said 2016 was the year of the monkeys, and if that's the case, I say we will have a pretty good year. Cheers to 2016 friends! 

Home sweet Houston

You never realize how big your hometown is NOT until you trek to the third largest city in the country, then have to learn to be okay with the traffic for the next 13 weeks. The side roads are called feeders because they "feed" into the interstates (Clever). The interstates run straight through every city and suburban area, Texas people love Texas (a lot), and this southern draw of mine is far too foreign to the general public. They say "soda" instead of Coke or soft drink, "carts" instead of buggies, and BlueBell reigns supreme. The BlueBell commercial received a round of applause at an Astros game one Sunday. That's just insane, it's only ice cream. In Alabama, Mayfield is 4 stars in my playbook and sweet tea requires way more sugar (ask Milo's) then none at all, and once and for all, BBQ sandwiches should come from pork. We save the beef for burgers. Everything may be bigger in Texas but not always better. Ha. I say that and can hear my Texas co workers cringe. Don't let them being in the "south" fool you. They don't do monograms or seersucker, college football (ROLL TIDE), or quite understand that ChikFilA could roll over Whataburger any day of the week. Even on Sundays. I do love Texas though. I feel like we get stuck in bubbles. Obviously there is nothing wrong with that, but it's nice to see how others live and how they view life. It was truly an eye opening experience to see the world through a different city's perspective. 13 weeks flew by. I saw the Astros beat the Rangers, Alabama beat Texas A&M at Kyle Field, Harden score 50, Hermann Park (pronounced "her-men" not "her-man"), the zoo, museums and even one beach that couldn't hold a candle to the beaches in Alabama (sorry not sorry about that one). I learned that dinners by yourself were totally okay and it didn't mean you were lonely, but dinners at Esteban's with your coworkers were even better. I semi learned the two step and quickly realized it was more of a workout than any dance I was used to.  Most importantly, I learned that you must go to Texas with an appetite and pants that stretch, a lot. Ha. I do hope to visit again someday, I really do. (Next time, I better add meeting JJ Watt to that list).That's the glory of this traveling gig, we can travel wherever the wind takes us. And to my very first Cath lab crew outside of home, thank you. You took me in like the little sister you never did have. Y'all were the best lunch dates and weekend buddies to have around. I never in a million years expected to be welcomed with such open arms at my first assignment and you proved me wrong every single day by being the coolest, craziest bunch of gals & guys I now get to call friends. I am so thankful for this opportunity. More than any words I could express on this blog. Thank you CL Cath lab. You made this small town Alabama girl's dream of a traveling nurse come true.  I'm forever grateful, but now it's onto to the next my friends. Keep up. 

There will come a day.

It'll be fun they said. You're living the dream they said. 

{picture is courtesy of The Single Woman}

When I chose this journey, or this journey came my way, I was so excited. Actually, I had a lot of emotions. "What in the world have I gotten myself into," was at the top of that list. Thankful, scared, anxious, emotional were among the others. Some travelers go in pairs and I started this journey by myself. Hopefully, towards the end of the year my best friend will start with me, but until then, I'm here in Texas with two pups who are so over our daily conversations. I think they think I have gone mad by this point. Ha. I sing to them, I have lengthy conversations with them, and sometimes I make them lay down for a treat more than once. You can't teach these bums anything. Aside from all of that, I have been able to explore Houston and all that it has to offer. That is a lot. A LOT. I could be here an entire year and still not see everything. What's funny though, is that the pictures I post are merely pictures. If you could take a picture of this brain, it would send a different message. I miss home, I often wonder why I have to do this alone, if I will be alone forever, what am I missing back home, etc. Needless to say, since I don't have a lot of humans to talk to, my brain stays in overdrive. I have a lot more time to think about my life. The past, the present and that future I worry about daily. I heard a song by Kristy Starling the other day. "Hold onto your faith, there will come a day." The song itself is called, "There will come a day." So much of what we hear is about trusting the Lord and letting Him work inside of us. I fight this. Don't most of us? We question, we dream, we seek answers about our future instead of solely trusting that God has it all figured out for us. Being patient isn't my specialty. I've blogged about that enough times to know that. I am learning everyday to wait patiently and to trust in God and to know that His plans are greater. Yesterday, I heard a sermon about God's work. He said, "You decide how you will work when you decide if you trust God to do His work." If we could simply trust in Him and make our relationship with Him number one then He would supply the rest. I think this could apply to everything, not just work. Yes, work is important and we need it to survive in this country. However, we are as happy as WE choose to be. He provides us with everything that we need, all we have to do is trust. And that future part, right now I am living in the present. I have to remind myself constantly to stop dreaming, to wait patiently and to trust. The next paycheck, the next boyfriend, the next car, the next location for work, it'll all be here before I know it and I'll have missed this beautiful present if I blink too fast. And like the quote says above, it will hurt, but God never leaves our side. So here's to trusting, because there will come a day. 

Table for one, please

I've been in Houston or Webster for two weeks now (Webster is right outside of Houston). Did you know that Houston is vastly becoming the THIRD LARGEST CITY in the US, if not already? We Birminghamians thought 280 was bad...it's nothing compared to the overpasses that literally put you on top of the world, 8 lane highways that are under construction daily to become bigger, the countless toll roads, and interstates straight through each town because it's the only thing large enough to accompany this insane traffic. I did manage to drive from work to Target and home the other day without Siri. She and I were both impressed. I guarantee you I did not trek out to Texas for the traffic. People often ask us travelers why we choose traveling. I know that I am traveling to see the country, to save money (pay off some bills) and for far greater reasons than people I'm only going to see for 13 weeks at a time would like to know. Those reasons I tend to keep to myself, unless I blog about them, of course.  So I'm here, in Texas, for the next 10 weeks (remember, I've been here for 2). For me, I knew that I was in a cycle that wasn't going to end anytime soon. I felt like I was solely relying on family, friends and exes to create my identity, and I was losing myself in the process. Everything was the same. The days, the bars, the dinners, the excuses. I've never wanted to settle, although I felt like I was back home. As a quickly approach my 30s, I knew I needed to learn more about myself and how to be okay with it just being me (and my pups too) Baseball games by myself, nights alone and dinners for one don't make me the lonely girl that people might portray that as. I want and need to take full advantage of the opportunities I have been given because I might not ever have these things again. So I'm traveling to become a better version of me. To really be okay with doing this adventure by myself and not just saying I'm okay. Maybe you call it running away or maybe not. Maybe my life was never supposed to stop in Alabama, maybe it was meant to take me all over the world because my heart needed closure it would never find standing still. My life has taken a different road and a different turn. Maybe, just maybe, I am running to exactly where I am supposed to be all along. 

Lu and I at Galveston Beach. 

My first Houston Astros' game

Clear Lake. 

An open letter

To my hospital on the hill {HOTH}, 

6 years ago I was as green as they come. I walked into your beige colored halls naive and scared for the very first time. In the months prior I had failed out of nursing school, my heart was broken, and you offered the freshest start. I thought picking out a weekend party outfit was the toughest decision I could've made thus far. Little did I know the journey that started all those years ago. HOTH, you showed me that my disdain for anything that comes from the human mouth makes me turn green with nausea and cleaning poop off the floor was far more normal than I ever thought it would be. You reassured me every time I clocked in for those 8 hour shifts I would probably miss my bathroom breaks, eat lunch in a record 15 minutes or under, and actually clock out way past 8 hours because we were short staffed and over populated that day.  I was merely a nursing assistant then. See, I heard a lot of complaining, probably even was a part of it some days but you, HOTH, couldn't get rid of me. I even made the totally rational decision to reapply, start, finish and graduate from nursing school. I didn't think my love for you could've grown, but once again you proved me wrong. As a nurse, the responsibilities bestowed on me only grew heavier and heavier. Not like my weight though, those 15 minute lunch breaks rarely occurred while my bladder should've won an Olympic gold medal for holding the most urine. It was way stronger than I ever tried to be. You often left us bitter and crying on our drives home having us wonder why in the world we were chosen for such a profession. I never understood our relationship HOTH, because you were happy to hand us one more sheet of paper to sign, date and initial without so much a dozen roses or a box of chocolates. You were rarely friendly and if you did get around to feed me, the food was sub par on your best days. Luckily for our relationship, I stuck it out. I endured your long hours, loud call light noises, and hotel like requests. Why you ask? Because I couldn't see myself with anyone else. You have taught me worlds beyond anything I could've learned doing something else. You held my hand, lifted me up, and always had my back against what was outside your still beige colored walls and freshly waxed floors that promptly get waxed every Tuesday (or is it Wednesday) morning. HOTH, you have wiped away the happy tears, hugged my neck during the sad ones and loved me despite the mistakes I've made. You allowed me to follow my dreams, transfer for a fresh start every time my outside world was falling apart, and fed me the bomb taco line the first Wednesday's of every month (now it's on Thursdays). You have allowed me to meet patients I will remember for the rest of my life, with stories I'll share for generations to come. You graciously took us in when the snow came and worked tirelessly to feed, house, and love all of us employees who were stranded. Despite my fear of being admitted to your in-patient psych unit one day from the reality of being a nurse, you have given me a life that I am forever grateful for. See, over the years I have learned that all hospitals probably aren't the most ideal places to work. Any story or letter on the Internet from a scorned nurse could tell you that. It's clear we don't pee, all hate the inventor of the call light, and hold our breath when the new residents try to take over our beloved patients. So I get it. I am team nurse every single day. But despite my lack of always having something nice to say about you HOTH, thank you from the bottom of my heart. Filling out those 3 extra sheets of paper and double or even triple charting just to appease you wasn't actually so bad. HOTH you were my rock and I can only pray my next endeavor is as fun as the last 6 years have been. I will miss our family, but I can't wait to embark on this new journey. I hope to see you again someday.

Sincerely,

the once PCA, 

4 year veteran,

still learning,

forever grateful,

med-surge,

intensive care,

cardiac nurse.

Living & Learning

You live and learn.

High school was a world wind of planning the Friday pep rallies, figuring out my weekend plans, and never studying, because high school was the easiest. The school part at least. If I could tell my 17 year old self one thing, it'd be to hang onto that friendship a little harder and worry about life a whole lot less. Fitting in will be a thing of the past in a few short years. Tell people how you feel, include them. Love life. 

You live and you learn they say. 

College is a blur of too many nights out, one too many broken relationships, bad decisions, not enough studying, and some of the best memories a girl could ever have. If I could tell that girl anything it would be let go, move on, because you aren't marrying that one either, study harder, and take absolutely nothing for granted. It will be over in a flash. Your life will change, friends will move away, and who you thought you would be with forever is a mere joke at this point. 

You really do live and learn.

Working as nurse isn't nearly what it's talked up to be. It's long days, countless heartbreaks and the stress of someone else's life weighing on your heart daily. It's new friendships, new relationships, terrible consequences, and just a few more regrets. If I could tell that almost woman anything, it'd be don't do it. Ha. 

You live and you learn is what I've come to know.

If it weren't for that mishap in HS I wouldn't have met my most favorite college roommates. I wouldn't have had the most fun 4 next years ever and I sure wouldn't have failed out of nursing school only to still get to graduate with my best friend. 

If it weren't for those decisions I wouldn't have met someone new and started a job where I thought I'd stay forever. If it weren't for that wake up call March 21 that sent my world into another tail spin, I wouldn't have transferred for another fresh start and I wouldn't have the cutest house in my favorite town. I say all of that to say, I would've never made the decision to travel if my world played out as I had planned and you learn that if it were to have played out that way... You'd be miserable, or divorced or living a lie that you so desperately needed out of. 

I have lived and I have learned. 

I have learned that I am terrible at stress. I over analyze way too often. I worry way too much what everyone else thinks. I absolutely hate confrontation and having someone else mad at me could literally drive me mad. Usually at least. However, I have also learned that it's okay to feel these things as long as I keep it all in check. Stress is inevitable, but turning it down a few notches is absolutely necessary and needed in my case. Some days being grateful for this life is harder than I wish it to be but I am so thankful I'm not where I could be. I have this future that is so far up in the air that gives me the biggest smile. I get to travel the world, I get to meet new people, I get to create new experiences with people who aren't any bit concerned with a past that I try so often to forget. I am thankful I am living the life God has planned for me and He has the greatest things in store. I live, I learn and I have so much more to live and to learn. It's a new chapter that I look forward to writing about. 23 days until the big move.