I would say you should have studied a little bit harder the first go around. Maybe if you would have logged out of facebook, stayed home that night, and cleared your mind, maybe you would be a real working girl now. But I would also say, you can't look back. Should-a, could-a, would-a is a thing of the past. And we are already in today. You must suck it up and move on. Because you will get through it. You will sacrifice, you will miss out, you will lose some people you thought you would have had forever. And the end goal is worth far more than any of that. The end goal is your entire life. So don't give up.
Please don't let what people say bother you. I know you do more than anything else. But remember, they don't know you. They have no idea who you really are, and obviously don't care to try. But neither do you. The past might haunt you, but you made those decisions so you must learn to live with them. People will always say what they wish. But its up to you to be a bigger person. Never forget who you are, and those who matter most will always be at your side. Don't give up.
Step back and look at each and every situation. Think before you speak, and try to see every side of the story. Because not everyone tells the truth, and not everyone has your best interest at heart. But try and not listen to all of those outside voices. They just get in the way, cause unnecessary drama, and mean nothing to you.
Let it go. You made a decision to say goodbye and felt the consequences. If you must look back, just look at the positive. And believe me, you will have no one on your side with this dilemma. In other words, you would never go into anything by yourself. Give it up. What happened will never be changed, and you have become a stronger person because of it.
Just remember, the sun will rise each and every morning, and God's plans are far better than we could imagine. Never stop praying.
image by blissfullydomestic.