Real Time Post

The wedding vows say it best, speak now or forever hold your peace.

Would you be able to live with holding that peace for forever, or would you constantly live in the what ifs of what you should've said? That should've, would've, could've gets us every time. As we get older, the days, months and years fly by. Everything goes by so fast that I often live in the what ifs of the past. Do you? It's so easy to get stuck there and rehash those memories, leaving us unable to live in the moment. We can't enjoy the now because there's so much we wish would've done then. Let's be real...how many people have to be diagnosed with cancer, how many people do we have to lose, and how many opportunities do we let slip through our fingers before we finally speak up? I don't think it is ever too late to take action.

Some things should live in our past. God took those out for a reason, and those things are better left unsaid. If they weren't good enough to make it to our present, then those what ifs are better left as Thank you Lord for removing those situations. I know that I was too weak to do that one on my own and I'm so grateful He shut that door for me. Everyday that I still relive those memories though, I question His choices and plans, and let's be honest... His plans are so much better. Distinguishing between the two might be a little tricky, but maybe that's where faith comes in.

How many opportunities have you given up for one reason or another only to be wishing a year down the road you know you should've gone through with it? How many people have you let walk out of your life because you made some lame excuse as to why things were better off unsaid? How many people have you lost over the years and you wish you had one more minute to tell them one more thing? I think it's one too many. Today is what God gave me. He literally gave me one more day. Everyday that I wake up I'm more thankful than the day before, because in this world, not everyone has that. So often, we take it all for granted, myself included. Instead of making the why not turn into what ifs, we should just jump...take the leap of faith that scares us to death and speak up. 

Seven days

It has been one whole week since I purged out all social media. I really feel like my anxiety and stress have decreased a ton. A few times this past week I've had to hear by word of mouth updates on friends and family and it's been so exciting. I might be the last to know but it's been fun to hear the old fashion way. I think so many people live this life on Facebook that might not necessarily be who or what they are. I always felt that it added so much pressure to my daily living and trying to live up to what everyone else expected. That was tough and frustrating and most days, unrealistic. I can post my pictures here without Instagram making them prettier and I can update my statuses here whenever and however I feel. I'm not competing with anyone because my blog is just for me. My life is far from perfect and I've blogged about it for years now. I try to show every side of me because there's a lot. 

And today I woke up and did a beach body work out prior to work for the first time ever. Not just this workout, but any in general. I love my sleep, it's the first thing I think of when I wake up in the morning... Man, I can't wait to come back here. So, this morning I woke up and worked out. Sore is an understatement but it made the rest of the day so much better. I'm not sure it'll be a habit but maybe I can incorporate it in here and there. 

5

Painting happened on day FIVE. I've been wanting to paint since I moved in a year ago and someone usually talked me out of it. I've never painted more than a wall but I figured with a few friends we could knock it out. I'm going gray, but just one room at a time to keep it from getting too overwhelming. I used Gray Screen by Sherman Williams and I love the way it turned out. Since my house is small I'm going to paint every room the same color (to make it look bigger) and I'm excited to see how each room looks.

Day 5 night was the dreaded 10 year reunion. I'll start off by saying I don't even feel like I've been out of high school long enough to be going to one. The time has flown by and it really makes you reflect how far you've come and how much further you get to go. It was surprisingly so much fun to see everyone again. We had it at rooftop bar/restaurant downtown and the weather was great. Everyone has changed so much but we picked up right where we left off.

Orlando was my football player in HS during homecoming week. (I decorated his locker, all the fun things you do during homecoming week) Anna & Alex have been together since junior year, and are still as cute as ever. The bottom picture is some of the girls I cheered with throughout HS, although we were missing a few, and sweet little Austen is a future cheerleader. 

And on the third day

Day 3.

Nothing like your 3rd day without social media then Facebook sending an email saying you have 9 new notifications. 9 notifications that I turned off 3 days ago. Thank you Facebook. With a quick swipe to the left, all was deleted and day 3 was fairly uneventful. I will say that although my work day was busy, my mind would often want to focus on social media. In no means do I want to relate this addiction to something like cigarettes or alcohol but my mind would say, just once and then you'll keep going. That would ruin my streak though! I've only come 3 days but that's 3 days longer than I've gone in 10 years. It'll be worth it. I'll never be able to resolve what needs resolving if I keep stepping backwards.

And on day 4 I finally did a little yard work. Seriously though, they shouldn't make the houses so cute when you're looking at buying them. Maybe have the grass a little tall and the garbage cans full and dog hair everywhere, because that'd be my house. I'm so thankful for my little white house, but I didn't take in much consideration for the yard before the big purchase. I need fake pretty grass that never grows or a yard person who is free and comes biweekly. On day 4, I didn't think much of social media although going without it might be making me more mean. This week in general has been more busy than usual so I'll place the blame there too. The whole social media purge really hasn't been terrible so far. If I don't know what's going on, I can't stress over it. 

Out of sight out of mind they say.

And again

{another disclaimer: These blogs to follow were written in the consecutive days after April 20th. Again, I just wanted to write for a while before I started posting. }

Day 2.

 The social media thing was a breeze on day 1. Work was busy so that left little time for anything else. I did notice that every time I back out of a text message from my phone, my fingers would go straight to where the social media apps used to be. Terrible, I know. The life of an addict. I'm very sure the next few days won't be as easy but as long as I keep busy and take it one day at a time, then I can do it. The food thing, well that hasn't happened yet. I like being busy, but it leaves little time for a grocery store run or an hour at the gym. I'll get there!I did manage a grocery list from the foods that the 21 day fix suggested. I am a fairly picky eater, but there were so many options that my list wasn't as bad as I had planned. See. 

 On another note, I met my sweet niece's class at the zoo today. I'm so excited that I get to make these memories with all of my nieces and nephews. My hope is they always remember them. As you can see, she is not a fan of the camera. Ryleigh made it clear from the beginning of the day absolutely no pictures. 

Update: I made it to the grocery store! AHH I was so excited to finally have a few extra hours to myself that wasn't me washing my face and rolling into bed. Day 2 was a good one. 

Until next time. 

Life-Tox

{disclaimer: The actual day 1 was April, 20, 2015. I wanted to really take everything in before I started posting again. I didn't write every single day, but you will catch a few posts here and there.}

Day 1.

I'm not sure what will be harder...going without social media for the next 21 days (or longer) or actually staying on social media for the next 21 days. They say it takes 21 days to make a habit. It has become a rather unhealthy relationship. So instead of trying to make it work, we rid it from our lives. People quit smoking cold turkey, I can do this. It just gets to be too much when it's the last thing you do before you go to bed and the first thing you do when you wake up...then you check it again. I don't want to wake up wondering what's going on in my social networks, I just want to roll out of bed because I'm 100% sure I've just hit the snooze 5 times. I can do things that are good for my soul, like writing again. I can even mow the yard without instagramming about it. I also want to paint and I've put it off since I've moved in because I was the only one who wanted to do it. I'll probably be throwing myself off the high dive without any swimmies trying to tackle this paint job by myself, but I'm hopeful I'll bring in backup by the end of it. All I'm saying is I have to do for me. Life is way too short to live it in the hopes that people will ever be who they used to be. People change and as bad it just sucks, we grow apart and sometimes we even want different things. Instead of forcing this world to go round, it's time for me to take a huge leap of faith and love me for a little while. I was originally going to write live for me, but my phone autocorrected that to love. I think I'll stick with love. So, for the next 21 days (or longer) you may just catch a blog from me. What you won't catch, is a cute snapchat of my pups or a pretty picture on Instagram of my sweet little nieces or nephews. You can find those right here. I'm calling this my little life-tox. (That's courtesy of an awesome book called, It's Called a Breakup Because it's Broken. They suggested a he-tox so I'm going to take it a little further). Detox all that stresses me out or that's just not healthy. That comes with eating too. I wouldn't necessarily call myself a terrible eater but when Taco Bell is a staple, it's time to remember that my metabolism went out the window when I paid for my dreaded 10 year HS reunion. Where in the world has the time gone? I'm going to start this 21day fix with a shakeology plan to jumpstart this new life-tox. Planning is half the battle. Im excited for the challenges and excited to see the results. I'll do my best to keep up with it via the blog. 

Stay tuned friends.

Its' been a year...

Happy One yearAvesary to the little white house and me...actually it was built in the 50's but we came together one year ago today. So much has happened this past year and I've learned a lot about being a first time home buyer. I've learned that the grass and everything outside will die if not watered regularly. With that being said, I know without a doubt that my niche in life IS NOT gardening. I've learned that keeping the grass under control requires regularly mowing it, something I've grown to tolerate. Bugs don't kill themselves and the garbage will pile up until you, yourself take it outside. Dog hair accumulates like rapid fire and shaving both dogs bald has crossed my mind more than once. The cleaning never stops and some air filter has to be changed every few months. Over the course of a year, my little white house has hosted parties, a few grill nights, one new roommate and her little white cat. It even housed the largest dragonfly I have ever seen that was stuck. THANK THE LORD for my sweet mom who saved that day. The white house walls have been painted, nailed, hit while trying to move furniture and heard many of glorious conversations. This year has been a true roller coaster but we've grown so much. I'm so thankful I took it one day at a time, because I really do love this place I get to call home every single day. Happy one whole year!

Kimbo here is my stepdad, who was brave enough to also be my realtor. Without him and my parents this past year, I probably wouldn't have made it at all. Love them dearly. You can find Kimbo, along with my brother, here or here.