ME TOO

While we’re at it, #metoo

If you’ve missed the news this past week or lived under a rock then that won’t make too much sense, so I’ll give you a quick refresher.

One of Hollywood’s top producers has been accused by over 40 women of sexual abuse or harassment. Just google it. It’s all over the Internet. All over. 

The trouble is, it’s not just Hollywood. It’s not just big time producers, big wigs, or CEOS. It’s small towns. It’s in the backyard at your best friend’s home. 

IT IS EVERYWHERE and sadly it is every single day. 

The #metoo movement started to show just how many people have been affected in some way, shape, or form. It’s pretty scary to know just how many victims there are. I’ve been pretty reluctant to write this. I can count on one hand how many people I’ve ever told. A therapist I saw a couple of years back being one of them. Between Twitter, Facebook and Instagram I just couldn’t escape it. It’s everywhere and as much as I know it’s in the past, it was rearing it’s ugly head and all I knew to do was to speak up. I didn’t want to at first. But after lots of tears shed this past week, I figured it was time. It won’t stop this person from hurting others, but this movement is making some noise. Hopefully, it changes lives too. 

I wasn’t sure what I was looking for in even writing anything. Definitely not pity, but more of an awareness. 18 years is long overdue for charges to be filed, but it doesn’t mean it never happened. 

I wasn’t sure my story was as bad as so many others that have spoken out but it’s my story. It happened. It shouldn’t have. It is illegal every single way you look at it. 

It began after the summer of my 6th grade year. This man, who my family trusted dearly, would (to put it lightly) play with himself in front of me. Believe me, I was mortified too. I’m getting sick just trying to write it. I didn’t know what to do or what to say. 

It happened over SEVERAL occasions and I remember them all very vividly.

I really wish I didn’t.

I really wish I would’ve spoken up sooner. 

I wish I wouldn’t have been afraid to get anyone in trouble. 

I really wish that it never had happened.

I wish that it didn’t play a part in molding my childhood and my teenage years. 

And I so wish I was the only one, but I wasn’t. 

I wasn’t sure if I should even relive the past I try to think about so little. A past that I have healed from. I don’t blame those who won’t post. It’s definitely not for everyone. Talking about this in the small town I grew up in would be so taboo. I’m not looking to name names or delve into this story anymore than I have, but please know that it happens. And it’s not just to celebrities. It’s to those around you. 

We HAVE to be more aware of our loved ones, we HAVE to ask questions, we HAVE to be mindful, and we can not doubt.

And we HAVE to always speak up. ❤️

Hello THIRTY.

As my twenties come to a close it's only natural to reflect on the last ten years. So cliche, right? I would reflect on the years before that but my twenties have enough memories to go around. Then around again. They also say your thirties are some of the best years of your life. Another super cliche, am I right? I hope they're right, I think they are too. My twenties served for some great times, great memories, major milestones. And some not so pretty times too. I'll try to recap but I'm not really sure where to begin.

It took every ounce of energy and emotion I could muster up to finish nursing school. It was exhausting moving 5 times post college until I bought my house. (Insert laugh, considering I'm currently a nomad again). Relationships and friendships came and gone. I'm okay with that. I became an aunt X 5 and dog mom X 2. I'm equally obsessed with all 7. Ehh... the two furry ones have been testing their limits lately, but I love them nonetheless. Alabama served as a great home for 27 years and holds a special place in my heart but it became so routine. As much as Birmingham was growing, I was not. Not for the better anyways. Everything around me was changing. Except me. So I did what any rational twenty something would do. That's where the traveling comes in, but you already knew that.

I learned a lot in my twenties, but I think what I learned the most is that life really does go on. Despite feeling that every time something falls apart, you have to hash it all out and desperately try to put the broken pieces back where they were. As hard as I tried though, I could never put those pieces back together and life went on whether I wanted it to or not. Luckily enough. I learned that I'm way more independent than I could've ever imagined (insert bicep curl emoji) and I am stronger too. At times, I'm emotionally unstable for reasons I like to push far away but I've learned that keeping those emotions in check is a far more healthy lifestyle. I think my twenties were challenging. I think they were wonderful. I think they sucked. It really just depends on which year we are talking about. Not to be a drag, but becoming an adult brings its own challenges. Bills have to be paid. The grass has to be cut. There are no brothers around to take out the garbage or sister to do your laundry. The dogs have to be fed. My hair has be washed. Life gets tough. I wouldn't trade it though.

Twenty nine was a really cool year. And I can say that with all the confidence in the world. It started in California, took me all over the world with great friends, then landed me in Las Vegas (still wrapping my brain around that one). I bought a car. I moved out of my little white house and moved my life into a medium size storage unit that is filled to the max. Who knew how much one could accumulate in a short 29 years? Most don't know, but I decided to stick around in Vegas longer than my typical 3 month contract. For now at least. Why? Because I can, because home will always be there and while I can, I'd like to take in all that I can. Sometimes I  make good decisions and sometimes I make really crazy ones. No matter what though, I'm making them for me first. Adulting is cool like that.

If I were back home, I'd already be 30. See, Vegas does have its perks. Ha. I'm pretty excited to start this new decade, this new chapter. So here's to 29 years down. Hello 30. 

SLO

We spent our summer down SLO and it went by anything but. SLO = San Luis Obispo, the central coast of California. Believe me, we had never heard of it either. However, Californians swear by it. SLO is perched in the quaintest city surrounded by beaches, morros, wine and cow country. For those of you wondering, a morro is a "rounded hill," but after hiking one of the tallest (Bishop's Peak) it felt more like a mountain. There's 9 of them altogether that stretch all the way to Morro Bay. That's a beach, a cold and windy beach. Who knew beaches could be so cold in what we southerners call summertime? The warmest we ever saw Avila (that's pronounced AV-I-LA, not A-VEAL-A) was the high 70s. It didn't keep us from going though, although we seemed to miss the wetsuit memo. That's also another thing worth mentioning; unless you're a child with incredible body temp tolerance to the icy waters, a wet suit is a MUST HAVE. That's because people surf here and they live to surf. Too cool if you ask me. SLO is where you settle down. No one is ever in a rush, the city closes down early unless college is in session (Cal Poly) and Oprah once called San Luis Obispo the happiest city in America. I wouldn't disagree. This was the first assignment where I found a routine, felt like I was living a normal life, and then 3 months happened. As much as I wanted to extend my contract there just wasn't a need and I had to leave my favorite little city nestled in the hills of central California. 

Woodstock Pizza is one of my FAVORITE pizza places I have ever eaten and I have had pizza in Alabama, New York, Chicago and Texas. Try it if you're ever in the area. It will not disappoint. I can't say much about the other food places. Good food is in San Fransisco, not so much in SLO. It wasn't terrible but the highlights of my 3 months don't include the dinner dates to try out the local venues. Except Woodstock, of course. 

In the quick 3 months in SLO we visited a few vineyards, hiked Bishop's Peak, road tripped to LA, and beached it at Avila and Pismo.  My sister even made her first appearance in California and we had the best weekend ever, just the two of us. 

Another high note in the 3 months might have been the 25 mile trek to Walmart only to find they do indeed sell Milo's Sweet Tea. Y'all just don't know how happy that made us. 3 gallons didn't last a week. I think my new Cath lab friends appreciated it too. Whatever they were drinking before couldn't hold a candle to Milo's. Speaking of my new Cath lab friends, I'll miss you guys way more than you'll miss me. Ha. This hospital might be the smallest I've ever worked in, but everyone couldn't have been friendlier and more welcoming to this Alabama native. Thankfully everyone can rest assured knowing that toboggans are worn on your head in the winter according to us and what you're referring to is what we call sleds. We like to keep things simple. Only my Cath lab friends will understand that one. Thank you for making me laugh daily, talking college football despite hating Alabama (Roll Tide), the endless memories & always looking out for me... even up to my very last day when my contract situation became a little hazy. I hope to visit again sooner rather than later.

Next up is Las Vegas with a quick vacation back home and Hawaii in between. Just when you have everything planned out, things change. Despite my initial reaction of overwhelming anxiety, somehow this all happened just as it was supposed to. I have been traveling for a year now and I just can't believe everything we have seen and done this past year. I think it's only going to get better. 

Here's to one year down! 

One year ago 9.4.15

One year ago I clocked out of my very first (and only) nursing job. I said goodbye to family, friends, comfort, routines and security. I clocked out on a life that kept me comfortable and safe. I left a home (that I purchased all by myself), a fenced in yard and the most comfortable bed EVER. I packed up my life and headed west (actually, that very day I hopped on a plane and headed south to Disney World)! In one year I have worked at 3 different hospitals in 3 VERY different cities. I have slept on rented beds, twin beds, and hotel beds. I have moved 5 times and flown over a dozen. I have even managed a few home visits in between. I love this gig, but of course it doesn't mean it's been easy. It's hard to describe, this traveling life. I get to see and do all of these wonderful things but  that doesn't mean life ever stops, especially back home. I miss birthdays, holidays, big moments, graduations, etc. (so I've definitely had my fair share of tears over the last year). I wouldn't trade it though. I keep saying I would never do this or never do that and each time I'm living out those moments I once thought I would never do. I often wonder what life would be like if I was still punching in that same old time clock, but it would be just that, the same. As much as I love the place I get to call home, I can't help but be so grateful for this opportunity. So until I pack away my luggage for good, I will cherish every phone call, every FaceTime and each visitor so very much. We only have a couple more weeks in what Oprah calls "the happiest city in America," and the adventures are getting better by the minute. Until next time!

I snapped this picture as I was walking out of my favorite hospital on the hill last September! 

"Oakland-ish"

I'm not sure where to start with this assignment. Oakland gets a pretty bad rap, especially since it ranks in the top 10 of most dangerous cities. However, we moved here by choice and I am so glad we did. It took me a little longer but I fell in love. I will say that it started pretty rocky though. As most know, two weeks in, my favorite Aunt passed away and our lives have been a little less sweet ever since. We miss her like crazy but I know this journey is once in a lifetime and she loved following along. Now, she just has a better view. Courtenay and I have been friends since college (that's 10 years, y'all) and we quickly learned that what we thought was city living, was nowhere near it. I'm used to everything being a 20 minute drive away. The Bay Area (Oakland/San Fransisco) laughed. We missed BARTS, took the wrong busses, and UBER'ed more times than I'd like to admit on just one rainy Saturday. We were dressed to kill and quickly realized just how much we stuck out. I might be most grateful that leggings and a puffy vest are the go to outfit, each and every single day of the week. I've collected even more leggings because of it, and I love every pair. It was tough at first; the city is crowded, people aren't nearly as friendly, and I second guessed our biggest move yet. I think Courtenay did too. It grew on me though. Once I braved walking to the BART alone. I learned it was far less traffic, less road rage, and less red lights than sitting in any car. (Because every time you do drive, you're fighting for your life with the defensive driving going on out here) Let us not forget, exit at the Powell Street BART station and you walk right into the mall. Really, how convenient is that? That's not all though. We might have eaten too many tacos, had too many glasses of wine (Napa, is by far, my favorite) and stayed up too late on our short getaway to Vegas, but I just wouldn't trade it for the world. In this great big city, I learned that maybe I could be a city girl, the organic/vegan life isn't for me (ha!), no one knows the SEC (and that's a shame), it's a melting pot for different cultures (but this southern accent can still make most do a double take mid conversation), and catching someone walking naked in the Castro is most definitely just your normal Saturday (right, Mom?) Courtenay and I have packed more in in the last 5 months that some spend a lifetime doing. We've seen the highs and lows that Northern California has to offer and I'm sure we still have worlds to see. As adults I don't think we expected to have to share a room with twin beds (the living expenses are crazy high) but we survived and it's one more thing we can check off of our ever growing bucket list that we get to live daily. Just to recap, we biked the Golden Gate, beached it in Carmel, brunched it A LOT, danced at the Painted Ladies, journeyed to Vegas (BRITNEY), wined it up in Napa, BART'd all over the city, hiked Muir Woods, cheered on the Giants and watched history in the making with Curry (Go Warriors). I know keeping up can be a little exhausting; altogether we both took 8 flights, had some sweet family visits, and somehow managed to squeeze work into all of it. Honestly, I wasn't sure I was going to fit in when I first started, but I know without a doubt I'll always have a home in that Cath lab. I promise to take my new found crossword puzzle love wherever I go. Thank you for taking me in and teaching me so much this big, crazy world has to offer. See ya soon, but these two Alabama girls are heading south. Southern California, we are coming for you.

A new season.

I'm by no means an expert Christian (most days I feel like I fail God), but as I've gotten older I've taken the time each day to really get to know the relationship that I have with Him. This year for Lent I couldn't think of what I should give up. I didn't eat enough fast food to make a difference. I probably could've done something about working out, not eating pasta, laying off the internet; but the night before Ash Wednesday I picked up my phone to my app, She Reads Truth. There was a daily reading for Lent so I dove in head first. I wanted to learn why as Christians we give up something for 40 days and what that means. So often we give up something to jump start a diet or cleanse our souls from Internet addictions. That about sums up what most people are fasting from. On day 1 of my devotional I quickly learned we are doing it all wrong (if you're doing it like I've done in the past) How is not eating fast food, not drinking that one Diet Coke, not checking the latest status on Facebook getting in the way of your relationship with God? I am not singling anyone out. These are actually some of the things I've given up in the years past. In reality, not getting on social media does allow us more time to chat with God, but are we really doing that with our free time? How is losing weight benefiting our relationship with our Creator? Maybe the majority knew what this season was all about. However, I feel like we've taken full advantage of it. Not surprising though. We take advantage of a lot of things life throws our way. Our homes, our cars, our fresh air, our families. We have let everything superficial get in the way. I think if we do decide to still give up these things we should be doing it for all of the right reasons. Every time we don't drink that soft drink or forgo the yummy pasta, we should do it for God and not because we need to fit into last years jeans. Take time to thank God for even being able to afford a pair of jeans or a smart phone to click on the internet all day. Thank Him for not giving into those temptations. Let the world know that you're doing it for God, not for yourself. Let us not forget what this season is truly about. God sending his son so that he may be nailed to the cross, buried and ascended into Heaven all so that we can be free of our sins. How amazing is that? Today as I sat alone for the first time on Easter Sunday hundreds miles away from family, I wasn't too sad about it. Sure, I miss them like crazy. However, what Jesus sacrificed for us hails in comparison. Without Him dying for my sins I wouldn't get to do this journey. Tomorrow is a new beginning and I think how wonderful it is to be here one more day? So let's give God all the glory He deserves, every single day! I hope wherever you celebrated your Easter Sunday, it was wonderful. 

Timehop

I don't know about you but I have the app, Timehop. It's a daily reminder of what happened over the years past on that same day. Somedays replay happy memories, funny pictures, long lost friends or even trips we tried so hard to put out of our minds. 4 years ago this very week, I was jet setting off to San Diego to be with my now ex. It rained a good bit while we were there and it was a pretty good reminder that we could only make a relationship last by ourselves, 2600 miles from reality. Sometimes I like to look back at the blogs I've previously posted and every now and then I'll catch one about this relationship. It's so easy to get stuck in a world because we think there are no other options. We make excuses, blame ourselves, and really just feel like this is it. And by we, I'm just referring to myself. 4 years ago this week I thought I would be stuck in a relationship for forever. Actually we broke up soon there after and I vowed California would never be home. I remember flying home by myself and had a layover in Houston as well. I ate my birthday lunch there. If you scroll back far enough on my IG, you'll find it. Who would've ever known 4 years later I would get to call both of those places home without any sort of association with the past that put me here? Although traveling was always a dream, I never put much effort into making it a reality until last year. (That was another blog post). Actually, God had it planned all along. He knew when to step in and show out and He did just that. I love that my plans often get overshadowed because God's are so much greater. Being in a city as overpopulated as Oakland has and will continue to teach me worlds about life and how to live it. By no means am I an expert or perfect and have flaws far beyond the makeup, yoga pants and puffy vests that California lets me sport every single day. You can find those pics on IG too. Ha. I think as I approach my last year in my twenties, I can reflect on all the good. Often I like to remember bad things but it just adds more wrinkles. I get to see a new city every 3 months, knock off tons on my ever growing bucket list, work & live this crazy life in the process. My family and friends are the best support system I could have and keep me grounded every single day. I am slowly but surely learning to be a better version of who I want to be and if I continue to let God plan this fun journey, it will only get better. Cheers to 1 day shy of being 29 years old. Time flies. 

1•12•16

I'm not sure anything I could write would do her justice. Every Wednesday we would go to the grocery store and the bank for my grandmother when I was a little girl. She taught me at an early age how to bag groceries (and you never put non food items with food, ever). We made candy every year before Christmas (although I still am terrible at stirring the fudge for the full 5 minutes or understanding a rolling boil) and she could wrap a Christmas present with only 4 pieces of tape (seriously). So many of my childhood memories have her in them, and adult ones too. She let me share her bed and twist her hair every night. She had vanilla ice cream with chocolate syrup waiting too, and taco salad is always served with Doritos thanks to her (You should try it). Really, the memories are endless. Aunt Lynn was our biggest fan in all aspects of life. She even cheered for Auburn once despite her love of Alabama. She is the best aunt this girl could have and I can only hope my relationship with my nieces and nephews is just as grand. I never in one million years expected to write this, but my heart is so heavy. When she was diagnosed with cancer a little over 5 years ago she would always say that this too shall pass, and it did. She was such the fighter. She was our rock, our potato salad maker, and the only one with her head on straight. She kept our chaotic worlds so constant and so strong. This growing up thing is for the birds, but right now she would tell us that it was her time and God makes no mistakes and today He took her home (and despite how sad we are, that makes me smile, because I hear her saying it). I can not wait to see her again. Please remember our family in your thoughts and prayers. Our hearts are broken beyond words. 

Cheers!

2015 ended on a high and 2446 miles away from home. It's not where I thought I would be when the year began, but I couldn't imagine myself anywhere else.

So here are 15 things I learned in 2015 -

1. Going without social media was well worth it, but having it now is such a blessing for face timing and keeping up with family back home! 

2. Having someone to kiss on NYE will get you nowhere if they continue to be a toad - Just Sayin'

3. Yard work will never be my niche in life, ever!

4. Owning my own home is STILL a dream come true.

5. Lunch with old high school friends was a great reminder that forgiveness is key. 

6. My family will always be the best support system this girl could have.

7. My friends, too.

8. Traveling was by far the best decision for me no matter the obstacles.

9. Life long friends come at any age, ethnicity, or city and I am so thankful for them - especially if they meet you at Esteban's in Texas. 

10. Exploring big cities and dinners by yourself are so what every 20 something girl needs in their life - so true!

11. Writing will always be my sanity!

12. Dogs need lots of medicines for boarding an aircraft - been there.

13. So do their humans (if traveling with them).

14. I may never learn to properly pack for 13 weeks

15. Living for myself FIRST might always be my biggest challenge, but I know I've sure come a long way in the last 365 days!

My mom said 2016 was the year of the monkeys, and if that's the case, I say we will have a pretty good year. Cheers to 2016 friends! 

Home sweet Houston

You never realize how big your hometown is NOT until you trek to the third largest city in the country, then have to learn to be okay with the traffic for the next 13 weeks. The side roads are called feeders because they "feed" into the interstates (Clever). The interstates run straight through every city and suburban area, Texas people love Texas (a lot), and this southern draw of mine is far too foreign to the general public. They say "soda" instead of Coke or soft drink, "carts" instead of buggies, and BlueBell reigns supreme. The BlueBell commercial received a round of applause at an Astros game one Sunday. That's just insane, it's only ice cream. In Alabama, Mayfield is 4 stars in my playbook and sweet tea requires way more sugar (ask Milo's) then none at all, and once and for all, BBQ sandwiches should come from pork. We save the beef for burgers. Everything may be bigger in Texas but not always better. Ha. I say that and can hear my Texas co workers cringe. Don't let them being in the "south" fool you. They don't do monograms or seersucker, college football (ROLL TIDE), or quite understand that ChikFilA could roll over Whataburger any day of the week. Even on Sundays. I do love Texas though. I feel like we get stuck in bubbles. Obviously there is nothing wrong with that, but it's nice to see how others live and how they view life. It was truly an eye opening experience to see the world through a different city's perspective. 13 weeks flew by. I saw the Astros beat the Rangers, Alabama beat Texas A&M at Kyle Field, Harden score 50, Hermann Park (pronounced "her-men" not "her-man"), the zoo, museums and even one beach that couldn't hold a candle to the beaches in Alabama (sorry not sorry about that one). I learned that dinners by yourself were totally okay and it didn't mean you were lonely, but dinners at Esteban's with your coworkers were even better. I semi learned the two step and quickly realized it was more of a workout than any dance I was used to.  Most importantly, I learned that you must go to Texas with an appetite and pants that stretch, a lot. Ha. I do hope to visit again someday, I really do. (Next time, I better add meeting JJ Watt to that list).That's the glory of this traveling gig, we can travel wherever the wind takes us. And to my very first Cath lab crew outside of home, thank you. You took me in like the little sister you never did have. Y'all were the best lunch dates and weekend buddies to have around. I never in a million years expected to be welcomed with such open arms at my first assignment and you proved me wrong every single day by being the coolest, craziest bunch of gals & guys I now get to call friends. I am so thankful for this opportunity. More than any words I could express on this blog. Thank you CL Cath lab. You made this small town Alabama girl's dream of a traveling nurse come true.  I'm forever grateful, but now it's onto to the next my friends. Keep up. 

There will come a day.

It'll be fun they said. You're living the dream they said. 

{picture is courtesy of The Single Woman}

When I chose this journey, or this journey came my way, I was so excited. Actually, I had a lot of emotions. "What in the world have I gotten myself into," was at the top of that list. Thankful, scared, anxious, emotional were among the others. Some travelers go in pairs and I started this journey by myself. Hopefully, towards the end of the year my best friend will start with me, but until then, I'm here in Texas with two pups who are so over our daily conversations. I think they think I have gone mad by this point. Ha. I sing to them, I have lengthy conversations with them, and sometimes I make them lay down for a treat more than once. You can't teach these bums anything. Aside from all of that, I have been able to explore Houston and all that it has to offer. That is a lot. A LOT. I could be here an entire year and still not see everything. What's funny though, is that the pictures I post are merely pictures. If you could take a picture of this brain, it would send a different message. I miss home, I often wonder why I have to do this alone, if I will be alone forever, what am I missing back home, etc. Needless to say, since I don't have a lot of humans to talk to, my brain stays in overdrive. I have a lot more time to think about my life. The past, the present and that future I worry about daily. I heard a song by Kristy Starling the other day. "Hold onto your faith, there will come a day." The song itself is called, "There will come a day." So much of what we hear is about trusting the Lord and letting Him work inside of us. I fight this. Don't most of us? We question, we dream, we seek answers about our future instead of solely trusting that God has it all figured out for us. Being patient isn't my specialty. I've blogged about that enough times to know that. I am learning everyday to wait patiently and to trust in God and to know that His plans are greater. Yesterday, I heard a sermon about God's work. He said, "You decide how you will work when you decide if you trust God to do His work." If we could simply trust in Him and make our relationship with Him number one then He would supply the rest. I think this could apply to everything, not just work. Yes, work is important and we need it to survive in this country. However, we are as happy as WE choose to be. He provides us with everything that we need, all we have to do is trust. And that future part, right now I am living in the present. I have to remind myself constantly to stop dreaming, to wait patiently and to trust. The next paycheck, the next boyfriend, the next car, the next location for work, it'll all be here before I know it and I'll have missed this beautiful present if I blink too fast. And like the quote says above, it will hurt, but God never leaves our side. So here's to trusting, because there will come a day. 

Table for one, please

I've been in Houston or Webster for two weeks now (Webster is right outside of Houston). Did you know that Houston is vastly becoming the THIRD LARGEST CITY in the US, if not already? We Birminghamians thought 280 was bad...it's nothing compared to the overpasses that literally put you on top of the world, 8 lane highways that are under construction daily to become bigger, the countless toll roads, and interstates straight through each town because it's the only thing large enough to accompany this insane traffic. I did manage to drive from work to Target and home the other day without Siri. She and I were both impressed. I guarantee you I did not trek out to Texas for the traffic. People often ask us travelers why we choose traveling. I know that I am traveling to see the country, to save money (pay off some bills) and for far greater reasons than people I'm only going to see for 13 weeks at a time would like to know. Those reasons I tend to keep to myself, unless I blog about them, of course.  So I'm here, in Texas, for the next 10 weeks (remember, I've been here for 2). For me, I knew that I was in a cycle that wasn't going to end anytime soon. I felt like I was solely relying on family, friends and exes to create my identity, and I was losing myself in the process. Everything was the same. The days, the bars, the dinners, the excuses. I've never wanted to settle, although I felt like I was back home. As a quickly approach my 30s, I knew I needed to learn more about myself and how to be okay with it just being me (and my pups too) Baseball games by myself, nights alone and dinners for one don't make me the lonely girl that people might portray that as. I want and need to take full advantage of the opportunities I have been given because I might not ever have these things again. So I'm traveling to become a better version of me. To really be okay with doing this adventure by myself and not just saying I'm okay. Maybe you call it running away or maybe not. Maybe my life was never supposed to stop in Alabama, maybe it was meant to take me all over the world because my heart needed closure it would never find standing still. My life has taken a different road and a different turn. Maybe, just maybe, I am running to exactly where I am supposed to be all along. 

Lu and I at Galveston Beach. 

My first Houston Astros' game

Clear Lake. 

An open letter

To my hospital on the hill {HOTH}, 

6 years ago I was as green as they come. I walked into your beige colored halls naive and scared for the very first time. In the months prior I had failed out of nursing school, my heart was broken, and you offered the freshest start. I thought picking out a weekend party outfit was the toughest decision I could've made thus far. Little did I know the journey that started all those years ago. HOTH, you showed me that my disdain for anything that comes from the human mouth makes me turn green with nausea and cleaning poop off the floor was far more normal than I ever thought it would be. You reassured me every time I clocked in for those 8 hour shifts I would probably miss my bathroom breaks, eat lunch in a record 15 minutes or under, and actually clock out way past 8 hours because we were short staffed and over populated that day.  I was merely a nursing assistant then. See, I heard a lot of complaining, probably even was a part of it some days but you, HOTH, couldn't get rid of me. I even made the totally rational decision to reapply, start, finish and graduate from nursing school. I didn't think my love for you could've grown, but once again you proved me wrong. As a nurse, the responsibilities bestowed on me only grew heavier and heavier. Not like my weight though, those 15 minute lunch breaks rarely occurred while my bladder should've won an Olympic gold medal for holding the most urine. It was way stronger than I ever tried to be. You often left us bitter and crying on our drives home having us wonder why in the world we were chosen for such a profession. I never understood our relationship HOTH, because you were happy to hand us one more sheet of paper to sign, date and initial without so much a dozen roses or a box of chocolates. You were rarely friendly and if you did get around to feed me, the food was sub par on your best days. Luckily for our relationship, I stuck it out. I endured your long hours, loud call light noises, and hotel like requests. Why you ask? Because I couldn't see myself with anyone else. You have taught me worlds beyond anything I could've learned doing something else. You held my hand, lifted me up, and always had my back against what was outside your still beige colored walls and freshly waxed floors that promptly get waxed every Tuesday (or is it Wednesday) morning. HOTH, you have wiped away the happy tears, hugged my neck during the sad ones and loved me despite the mistakes I've made. You allowed me to follow my dreams, transfer for a fresh start every time my outside world was falling apart, and fed me the bomb taco line the first Wednesday's of every month (now it's on Thursdays). You have allowed me to meet patients I will remember for the rest of my life, with stories I'll share for generations to come. You graciously took us in when the snow came and worked tirelessly to feed, house, and love all of us employees who were stranded. Despite my fear of being admitted to your in-patient psych unit one day from the reality of being a nurse, you have given me a life that I am forever grateful for. See, over the years I have learned that all hospitals probably aren't the most ideal places to work. Any story or letter on the Internet from a scorned nurse could tell you that. It's clear we don't pee, all hate the inventor of the call light, and hold our breath when the new residents try to take over our beloved patients. So I get it. I am team nurse every single day. But despite my lack of always having something nice to say about you HOTH, thank you from the bottom of my heart. Filling out those 3 extra sheets of paper and double or even triple charting just to appease you wasn't actually so bad. HOTH you were my rock and I can only pray my next endeavor is as fun as the last 6 years have been. I will miss our family, but I can't wait to embark on this new journey. I hope to see you again someday.

Sincerely,

the once PCA, 

4 year veteran,

still learning,

forever grateful,

med-surge,

intensive care,

cardiac nurse.

Living & Learning

You live and learn.

High school was a world wind of planning the Friday pep rallies, figuring out my weekend plans, and never studying, because high school was the easiest. The school part at least. If I could tell my 17 year old self one thing, it'd be to hang onto that friendship a little harder and worry about life a whole lot less. Fitting in will be a thing of the past in a few short years. Tell people how you feel, include them. Love life. 

You live and you learn they say. 

College is a blur of too many nights out, one too many broken relationships, bad decisions, not enough studying, and some of the best memories a girl could ever have. If I could tell that girl anything it would be let go, move on, because you aren't marrying that one either, study harder, and take absolutely nothing for granted. It will be over in a flash. Your life will change, friends will move away, and who you thought you would be with forever is a mere joke at this point. 

You really do live and learn.

Working as nurse isn't nearly what it's talked up to be. It's long days, countless heartbreaks and the stress of someone else's life weighing on your heart daily. It's new friendships, new relationships, terrible consequences, and just a few more regrets. If I could tell that almost woman anything, it'd be don't do it. Ha. 

You live and you learn is what I've come to know.

If it weren't for that mishap in HS I wouldn't have met my most favorite college roommates. I wouldn't have had the most fun 4 next years ever and I sure wouldn't have failed out of nursing school only to still get to graduate with my best friend. 

If it weren't for those decisions I wouldn't have met someone new and started a job where I thought I'd stay forever. If it weren't for that wake up call March 21 that sent my world into another tail spin, I wouldn't have transferred for another fresh start and I wouldn't have the cutest house in my favorite town. I say all of that to say, I would've never made the decision to travel if my world played out as I had planned and you learn that if it were to have played out that way... You'd be miserable, or divorced or living a lie that you so desperately needed out of. 

I have lived and I have learned. 

I have learned that I am terrible at stress. I over analyze way too often. I worry way too much what everyone else thinks. I absolutely hate confrontation and having someone else mad at me could literally drive me mad. Usually at least. However, I have also learned that it's okay to feel these things as long as I keep it all in check. Stress is inevitable, but turning it down a few notches is absolutely necessary and needed in my case. Some days being grateful for this life is harder than I wish it to be but I am so thankful I'm not where I could be. I have this future that is so far up in the air that gives me the biggest smile. I get to travel the world, I get to meet new people, I get to create new experiences with people who aren't any bit concerned with a past that I try so often to forget. I am thankful I am living the life God has planned for me and He has the greatest things in store. I live, I learn and I have so much more to live and to learn. It's a new chapter that I look forward to writing about. 23 days until the big move. 

The White House updates

I know, I know. Updating this little white house while trying to start a new life path probably wasn't the most rational decision, but it couldn't have turned out better. The color is the same we used in the den. What started out as mustard yellow is now Gray Screen by Sherman Williams, two coats did the trick. For everything else, my roommate and I knocked that out one afternoon with a few quick stops to World Market and Target. So many people have helped and continue to help do that, so thank you. The roommate and I were pretty pleased with the results. No matter the state I end up working in, I love that I'll always get to call this place home. 

this last picture is the before. 

Officially official.

This past Monday my recruiter and I started sending in my files to different hospitals. In other words, I was applying to my future jobs! I'm impatient to say the least. I get frustrated. I want things to happen in an instant. I am a nurse by day, aunt to the 4 coolest kids under 7, dog mom to 2, but my patience just hasn't grown with any of these things. I learned a long time ago it was a virtue, not to pray for it because it will be tried in the most horrendous ways, and I will be the first to admit I struggle with it. So a few days after these submissions, I was over it. It was similar to the house buying process...my stepdad/relator said some people looked at hundreds of homes, I assured him that wouldn't be the case with me. My recruiter said it would happen, we just had to wait. My original plan was to head south to Florida. Plans change, and for the first time I was okay with that. Florida didn't have what I was I looking for. By Friday, I decided it wasn't a battle for me to worry about. Checking my phone for possible calls, and refreshing my emails from my recruiter was driving me crazy. I asked God to handle it and He did! My devotional for that day was pretty on point as well. I forget to read it some days but I'm so glad I made time for it this particular morning. I had not 1 but 2 different hospitals call, in the middle of a procedure of course. Usually, I would track someone down and return it immediately. 1. Our Friday was far too crazy for this and 2. I just prayed that God would handle it and hoped I had enough patience to wait until the end of the day. I say all of this to say whatever will be, will really be. God has a plan for us. If I were to have called right back then or in 4 hours, the outcome wasn't going to change. If these hospitals weren't for me I would be okay with that. I don't want to go anywhere just to go, I want to be excited for it. AND I AM EXCITED FOR IT. In a little over a month I'm heading to Texas. I'll be south of Houston. I am anxious, excited, but so grateful that I have this opportunity to travel around the country with my job. I think we are quick to laugh off people's dreams. I've committed the crime more times than I would like to admit. At this point I couldn't imagine sitting with my future family, telling them what I wish I would've done. I know I have almost settled for that life a few times now, but thankfully God stepped in and showed out. Even if we try and don't like it, at least we know we've tried. The countdown is officially on friends! My mom and I will be making the 9+ hour drive in a little over a month. 

A long post. A little update.

6 years ago, I started @ the hospital on the hill. I have a dear friend who works there and he made it clear that if I were to get a job, I better not screw it up. (There's actually the funniest story ever where he thought I had, turns out, they had the wrong Lindsey) So 6 years ago this past June, I started as a patient care assistant on a Medical Surgical floor. I worked part time while I was in nursing school. Let's be real, nursing isn't a glamorous job, nothing about it. I knew that starting as an assistant could only benefit my career and I couldn't respect my fellow nursing assistants any more. They go above and beyond with little incentives. I'm lucky enough to have to worked and trained with some great ones. Nursing school flew by, but not because it was so much fun, but because it was all a blur. You went to class, studied, slept, studied and went back to class. This all happened while trying to hold somewhat of a life together. Needless to say, nursing school won that battle. I probably flipped flash cards in my sleep at that point. We ran on fumes and RedBull. I remember taking the boards like it was yesterday. The hardest test ever. I tell people not to scare them, but to let them know that it is a pretty big deal. I am pretty sure I blacked out because after about 130 questions I blanked, my computer turned blue, or was it gray, and I was done. Everything I worked for, every tear, every RedBull, every flash card sat right there on a computer screen. It was gut wrenching. One day later I was able to add those two letters past my name and I couldn't be more thrilled. We worked our butts off to become RNs. The weight of the world was finally lifted. That's what we thought at least. In June 2011, I started my first nursing job on that same medical surgical floor. The weight grew heavier, more tears were shed, but the knowledge I gained is irreplaceable. I always knew Med Surge wasn't for me, but I suggest it for all new grads. Learning the basics, learning to multi task and learning time management will take you far in your nursing career. After a year on the med surge floor, I transferred to a Cardiac Intensive Care Unit. (CICU) I knew that I wanted to continue my learning and everyday was different, and everyday an adventure. I've seen miracles, I've seen tragedies, and I've seen one of my most favorite patients take their first bite of mashed potatoes after months of being on a ventilator (and I cried). Ive seen patients walk out that doctors have counted out and I have said goodbye to some dear patients whose families still reach out. To make that impact on a complete strangers life is one of the best feelings in the world. Not many understand that. I know that I learn everyday how not to take it all for granted and it really puts life into perspective. I made some forever friends working in CI. It will always be like home to me. I never thought I'd leave but one early mid life crisis later and I moved again. I needed an escape from the reality I couldn't escape from and work was the only way I could do that. Life doesn't go as planned, and that had been thrown straight in my face. My two years in CI was over and I was now a part of the Cath lab. For the first few months, I thought I had made the biggest mistake ever. It wasn't for me. I stuck it out, and over a year later I am so grateful that I did. I never thought I could love anything more than CI, turns out I do. It's a different type of nursing, but I would say it's one of the best jobs to have if you were looking. I'm partial though. We work a little closer with our fellow nurses, radiology/scrub techs and our doctors, it's one big dysfunctional family. They see us on our bad days and at our best because there's really no escaping them. No matter the mood though, they will cheer you up, and they will assure you daily that they have your back against the rest of the hospital. My cath lab crew is honestly some of the smartest people I have ever worked with and teach me daily how to be a better nurse. I'll miss them too though. See, after 6 years I think it's time to do a little something for me. I think it's time to follow a dream I've always talked about but never quite jumped on because something usually held me back. If I woke up tomorrow married with children, I'd have this constant linger of why I didn't take this giant leap. I have dreams, goals and I have plans that far exceed my little white house in the heart of Birmingham. I may hate it after a month and I may not, but at least I'll try. This fall I'm going to start travel nursing. I don't know what my future holds anymore, but traveling the country sounds like a good start. My first assignment will probably be Florida, then maybe California, maybe Tennessee and the list goes on and on. The opportunities are endless. For so long I've let what others think and do affect my choices and it's time to figure this life out on my own for a change. I'm scared, anxious and so excited for the possibilities. I'll keep my house, the pups will come with and I'll always call Alabama home. Now, is just the beginning!

Weeds

I found something I dislike more than cutting grass, and that my friends, would be pulling weeds. I think I loaned the weedEater to my brother, which didn't matter anyways because it was never used. They say you'll only let the weedEater wires hit your ankles once & you won't do it again. I don't want to do it ever, like its a true fear of mine...girl loses her ankles due to a weedEater mishap. It could happen, right? That would end up on the front page of the Birmingham News. I avoid it at all costs. So the other day I just started pulling weeds. I'm pretty sure my skin was on fire because I was itching like a mad woman, the sweat was pouring, and the areas that needed a good weed pulling weren't getting smaller--then a breeze came and hushed up my downer of an attitude. It caught me off guard but it was most welcome in my bout of weed frustration. I let them get that bad and I always find a reason to put it off, like always. I take full blame. Obviously I can compare pulling weeds to this life I live. I put off the important things, dance around the small things & just hope everything either works out or disappears without putting a little elbow grease into it. Although I might be pulling weeds or making these life choices on my own, I'm not really by myself. That breeze was sent to remind me to just soak it in, step back, because it's not as tough as I may make it out to be. Even if it is, God will quickly remind us that He is right there every single step of the way. Whether He is guiding our hearts, minds, or hands,  His love never fails us. I do not like pulling the weeds from my yard or from life, the normalcy is far easier than the unexpected. It's just not as bad as I originally thought. The actual doing the task, yes it was bad...but the end was so worth it. My yard looks worlds better & I'm sure the neighbors appreciate it as well. Now to pull the weeds from this life that keep poking their heads back into my future God and I are so excited about. Stay tuned, life is getting grander by the day. 

Day 21.

So, my 21 days are over (It ended Tuesday May 12) I loved life without social media if I haven't said that enough, and I really haven't decided if I want to reincorporate those things back into my life. So easily, Facebook and Instagram create these personas for people as they seem and not as they really are. That's frustrating coming from an almost 30 year old still trying to track through this big bad world. My house isn't up to date with the newest Pinterest creation, it's not always clean, I'm not always happy, and my dogs haven't seen a bath in weeks. We're okay though and we are taking everyday as it comes because I know that this year holds endless possibilities that I cannot wait to share. It'll be messy, I'm sure, but worth every. single. minute.

10 things I learned in 21 days

1. No social media is way easier than originally thought. After a week or so, it rarely even crossed my mind.

2. Finding out news by word of mouth has its pros and cons. It was exciting when the news was positive, but frustrating when you're the last to know about something that happened a week prior...Maybe that was all for the best.

3. My anxiety decreased a WHOLE lot without social media. I have enough going on without trying to keep up with everyone else as well.

4. More than likely, what happened in our childhood affects how we are today. We can let that control us, or we can turn down the notch a little and be a better person because of it.

5. You can accomplish so much if you just put the phone down.

6. My world will still go round without the daily doings of Facebook and Instagram, and because most people aren't as obsessed as I was, they don't even realize I've been missing for 3 whole weeks. 

7. Blogging is way more fun anyways!

8. Working out before work did not actually kill me as one would think. Getting out of bed isn't that hard but not taking in enough calories will leave you exhausted. EAT. 

9. Memories made without posting them on social media as soon as they happen are just as fun. In fact, it may just be more fun because you're experiencing them with those you love the most anyways. 

10. Stress takes away all of the fun that life can give. Sometimes or most times, snapping ourselves back into a normalcy is needed and welcomed. Life is as we make it... so make it a good one without all the likes and comments from social media. In the end, it's about making yourself happy first and foremost. 

 Try going without social media for a day or so and just spend time with those you love, phone-less. You don't have to chat the whole time or even agree, but I guarantee you will laugh until you almost pee your pants and you will be reminded why you chose your journey to begin with. 

Days 18-20

I say it every year so I'll just keep it going... I can't believe my little bug is SEVEN. I'm just thankful she's still okay with holding hands, sweet kisses, and telling me we're best friends. As each year passes, I love her more. This year she chose to skip a party and go to the American Girl store. My mom, sister and I loaded up her and ReeceAnne and headed to Alpharetta for the night. I'm not sure where that store was when we were growing up, but I know we would've been in heaven just like they were. I can't remember the last time just us girls did any sort of road trip, but we all had a great time. Each day we're reminded that life really is a precious gift and these memories are priceless. Ryleigh's birthday was on Mother's Day this year with my sister's being that Monday. It was a weekend full of celebrations!

Here are a few snaps from our American Girl Store experience.

After the American Girl store, we headed to Atlanta for the Lennox square mall. The day wasn't complete until we tried Sprinkles cupcakes for the first time. They didn't disappoint! 

And on Mother's day we did church and a little lunch, thankful to call her Mom.