Cheers!

2015 ended on a high and 2446 miles away from home. It's not where I thought I would be when the year began, but I couldn't imagine myself anywhere else.

So here are 15 things I learned in 2015 -

1. Going without social media was well worth it, but having it now is such a blessing for face timing and keeping up with family back home! 

2. Having someone to kiss on NYE will get you nowhere if they continue to be a toad - Just Sayin'

3. Yard work will never be my niche in life, ever!

4. Owning my own home is STILL a dream come true.

5. Lunch with old high school friends was a great reminder that forgiveness is key. 

6. My family will always be the best support system this girl could have.

7. My friends, too.

8. Traveling was by far the best decision for me no matter the obstacles.

9. Life long friends come at any age, ethnicity, or city and I am so thankful for them - especially if they meet you at Esteban's in Texas. 

10. Exploring big cities and dinners by yourself are so what every 20 something girl needs in their life - so true!

11. Writing will always be my sanity!

12. Dogs need lots of medicines for boarding an aircraft - been there.

13. So do their humans (if traveling with them).

14. I may never learn to properly pack for 13 weeks

15. Living for myself FIRST might always be my biggest challenge, but I know I've sure come a long way in the last 365 days!

My mom said 2016 was the year of the monkeys, and if that's the case, I say we will have a pretty good year. Cheers to 2016 friends! 

Home sweet Houston

You never realize how big your hometown is NOT until you trek to the third largest city in the country, then have to learn to be okay with the traffic for the next 13 weeks. The side roads are called feeders because they "feed" into the interstates (Clever). The interstates run straight through every city and suburban area, Texas people love Texas (a lot), and this southern draw of mine is far too foreign to the general public. They say "soda" instead of Coke or soft drink, "carts" instead of buggies, and BlueBell reigns supreme. The BlueBell commercial received a round of applause at an Astros game one Sunday. That's just insane, it's only ice cream. In Alabama, Mayfield is 4 stars in my playbook and sweet tea requires way more sugar (ask Milo's) then none at all, and once and for all, BBQ sandwiches should come from pork. We save the beef for burgers. Everything may be bigger in Texas but not always better. Ha. I say that and can hear my Texas co workers cringe. Don't let them being in the "south" fool you. They don't do monograms or seersucker, college football (ROLL TIDE), or quite understand that ChikFilA could roll over Whataburger any day of the week. Even on Sundays. I do love Texas though. I feel like we get stuck in bubbles. Obviously there is nothing wrong with that, but it's nice to see how others live and how they view life. It was truly an eye opening experience to see the world through a different city's perspective. 13 weeks flew by. I saw the Astros beat the Rangers, Alabama beat Texas A&M at Kyle Field, Harden score 50, Hermann Park (pronounced "her-men" not "her-man"), the zoo, museums and even one beach that couldn't hold a candle to the beaches in Alabama (sorry not sorry about that one). I learned that dinners by yourself were totally okay and it didn't mean you were lonely, but dinners at Esteban's with your coworkers were even better. I semi learned the two step and quickly realized it was more of a workout than any dance I was used to.  Most importantly, I learned that you must go to Texas with an appetite and pants that stretch, a lot. Ha. I do hope to visit again someday, I really do. (Next time, I better add meeting JJ Watt to that list).That's the glory of this traveling gig, we can travel wherever the wind takes us. And to my very first Cath lab crew outside of home, thank you. You took me in like the little sister you never did have. Y'all were the best lunch dates and weekend buddies to have around. I never in a million years expected to be welcomed with such open arms at my first assignment and you proved me wrong every single day by being the coolest, craziest bunch of gals & guys I now get to call friends. I am so thankful for this opportunity. More than any words I could express on this blog. Thank you CL Cath lab. You made this small town Alabama girl's dream of a traveling nurse come true.  I'm forever grateful, but now it's onto to the next my friends. Keep up. 

There will come a day.

It'll be fun they said. You're living the dream they said. 

{picture is courtesy of The Single Woman}

When I chose this journey, or this journey came my way, I was so excited. Actually, I had a lot of emotions. "What in the world have I gotten myself into," was at the top of that list. Thankful, scared, anxious, emotional were among the others. Some travelers go in pairs and I started this journey by myself. Hopefully, towards the end of the year my best friend will start with me, but until then, I'm here in Texas with two pups who are so over our daily conversations. I think they think I have gone mad by this point. Ha. I sing to them, I have lengthy conversations with them, and sometimes I make them lay down for a treat more than once. You can't teach these bums anything. Aside from all of that, I have been able to explore Houston and all that it has to offer. That is a lot. A LOT. I could be here an entire year and still not see everything. What's funny though, is that the pictures I post are merely pictures. If you could take a picture of this brain, it would send a different message. I miss home, I often wonder why I have to do this alone, if I will be alone forever, what am I missing back home, etc. Needless to say, since I don't have a lot of humans to talk to, my brain stays in overdrive. I have a lot more time to think about my life. The past, the present and that future I worry about daily. I heard a song by Kristy Starling the other day. "Hold onto your faith, there will come a day." The song itself is called, "There will come a day." So much of what we hear is about trusting the Lord and letting Him work inside of us. I fight this. Don't most of us? We question, we dream, we seek answers about our future instead of solely trusting that God has it all figured out for us. Being patient isn't my specialty. I've blogged about that enough times to know that. I am learning everyday to wait patiently and to trust in God and to know that His plans are greater. Yesterday, I heard a sermon about God's work. He said, "You decide how you will work when you decide if you trust God to do His work." If we could simply trust in Him and make our relationship with Him number one then He would supply the rest. I think this could apply to everything, not just work. Yes, work is important and we need it to survive in this country. However, we are as happy as WE choose to be. He provides us with everything that we need, all we have to do is trust. And that future part, right now I am living in the present. I have to remind myself constantly to stop dreaming, to wait patiently and to trust. The next paycheck, the next boyfriend, the next car, the next location for work, it'll all be here before I know it and I'll have missed this beautiful present if I blink too fast. And like the quote says above, it will hurt, but God never leaves our side. So here's to trusting, because there will come a day. 

Table for one, please

I've been in Houston or Webster for two weeks now (Webster is right outside of Houston). Did you know that Houston is vastly becoming the THIRD LARGEST CITY in the US, if not already? We Birminghamians thought 280 was bad...it's nothing compared to the overpasses that literally put you on top of the world, 8 lane highways that are under construction daily to become bigger, the countless toll roads, and interstates straight through each town because it's the only thing large enough to accompany this insane traffic. I did manage to drive from work to Target and home the other day without Siri. She and I were both impressed. I guarantee you I did not trek out to Texas for the traffic. People often ask us travelers why we choose traveling. I know that I am traveling to see the country, to save money (pay off some bills) and for far greater reasons than people I'm only going to see for 13 weeks at a time would like to know. Those reasons I tend to keep to myself, unless I blog about them, of course.  So I'm here, in Texas, for the next 10 weeks (remember, I've been here for 2). For me, I knew that I was in a cycle that wasn't going to end anytime soon. I felt like I was solely relying on family, friends and exes to create my identity, and I was losing myself in the process. Everything was the same. The days, the bars, the dinners, the excuses. I've never wanted to settle, although I felt like I was back home. As a quickly approach my 30s, I knew I needed to learn more about myself and how to be okay with it just being me (and my pups too) Baseball games by myself, nights alone and dinners for one don't make me the lonely girl that people might portray that as. I want and need to take full advantage of the opportunities I have been given because I might not ever have these things again. So I'm traveling to become a better version of me. To really be okay with doing this adventure by myself and not just saying I'm okay. Maybe you call it running away or maybe not. Maybe my life was never supposed to stop in Alabama, maybe it was meant to take me all over the world because my heart needed closure it would never find standing still. My life has taken a different road and a different turn. Maybe, just maybe, I am running to exactly where I am supposed to be all along. 

Lu and I at Galveston Beach. 

My first Houston Astros' game

Clear Lake. 

An open letter

To my hospital on the hill {HOTH}, 

6 years ago I was as green as they come. I walked into your beige colored halls naive and scared for the very first time. In the months prior I had failed out of nursing school, my heart was broken, and you offered the freshest start. I thought picking out a weekend party outfit was the toughest decision I could've made thus far. Little did I know the journey that started all those years ago. HOTH, you showed me that my disdain for anything that comes from the human mouth makes me turn green with nausea and cleaning poop off the floor was far more normal than I ever thought it would be. You reassured me every time I clocked in for those 8 hour shifts I would probably miss my bathroom breaks, eat lunch in a record 15 minutes or under, and actually clock out way past 8 hours because we were short staffed and over populated that day.  I was merely a nursing assistant then. See, I heard a lot of complaining, probably even was a part of it some days but you, HOTH, couldn't get rid of me. I even made the totally rational decision to reapply, start, finish and graduate from nursing school. I didn't think my love for you could've grown, but once again you proved me wrong. As a nurse, the responsibilities bestowed on me only grew heavier and heavier. Not like my weight though, those 15 minute lunch breaks rarely occurred while my bladder should've won an Olympic gold medal for holding the most urine. It was way stronger than I ever tried to be. You often left us bitter and crying on our drives home having us wonder why in the world we were chosen for such a profession. I never understood our relationship HOTH, because you were happy to hand us one more sheet of paper to sign, date and initial without so much a dozen roses or a box of chocolates. You were rarely friendly and if you did get around to feed me, the food was sub par on your best days. Luckily for our relationship, I stuck it out. I endured your long hours, loud call light noises, and hotel like requests. Why you ask? Because I couldn't see myself with anyone else. You have taught me worlds beyond anything I could've learned doing something else. You held my hand, lifted me up, and always had my back against what was outside your still beige colored walls and freshly waxed floors that promptly get waxed every Tuesday (or is it Wednesday) morning. HOTH, you have wiped away the happy tears, hugged my neck during the sad ones and loved me despite the mistakes I've made. You allowed me to follow my dreams, transfer for a fresh start every time my outside world was falling apart, and fed me the bomb taco line the first Wednesday's of every month (now it's on Thursdays). You have allowed me to meet patients I will remember for the rest of my life, with stories I'll share for generations to come. You graciously took us in when the snow came and worked tirelessly to feed, house, and love all of us employees who were stranded. Despite my fear of being admitted to your in-patient psych unit one day from the reality of being a nurse, you have given me a life that I am forever grateful for. See, over the years I have learned that all hospitals probably aren't the most ideal places to work. Any story or letter on the Internet from a scorned nurse could tell you that. It's clear we don't pee, all hate the inventor of the call light, and hold our breath when the new residents try to take over our beloved patients. So I get it. I am team nurse every single day. But despite my lack of always having something nice to say about you HOTH, thank you from the bottom of my heart. Filling out those 3 extra sheets of paper and double or even triple charting just to appease you wasn't actually so bad. HOTH you were my rock and I can only pray my next endeavor is as fun as the last 6 years have been. I will miss our family, but I can't wait to embark on this new journey. I hope to see you again someday.

Sincerely,

the once PCA, 

4 year veteran,

still learning,

forever grateful,

med-surge,

intensive care,

cardiac nurse.

Living & Learning

You live and learn.

High school was a world wind of planning the Friday pep rallies, figuring out my weekend plans, and never studying, because high school was the easiest. The school part at least. If I could tell my 17 year old self one thing, it'd be to hang onto that friendship a little harder and worry about life a whole lot less. Fitting in will be a thing of the past in a few short years. Tell people how you feel, include them. Love life. 

You live and you learn they say. 

College is a blur of too many nights out, one too many broken relationships, bad decisions, not enough studying, and some of the best memories a girl could ever have. If I could tell that girl anything it would be let go, move on, because you aren't marrying that one either, study harder, and take absolutely nothing for granted. It will be over in a flash. Your life will change, friends will move away, and who you thought you would be with forever is a mere joke at this point. 

You really do live and learn.

Working as nurse isn't nearly what it's talked up to be. It's long days, countless heartbreaks and the stress of someone else's life weighing on your heart daily. It's new friendships, new relationships, terrible consequences, and just a few more regrets. If I could tell that almost woman anything, it'd be don't do it. Ha. 

You live and you learn is what I've come to know.

If it weren't for that mishap in HS I wouldn't have met my most favorite college roommates. I wouldn't have had the most fun 4 next years ever and I sure wouldn't have failed out of nursing school only to still get to graduate with my best friend. 

If it weren't for those decisions I wouldn't have met someone new and started a job where I thought I'd stay forever. If it weren't for that wake up call March 21 that sent my world into another tail spin, I wouldn't have transferred for another fresh start and I wouldn't have the cutest house in my favorite town. I say all of that to say, I would've never made the decision to travel if my world played out as I had planned and you learn that if it were to have played out that way... You'd be miserable, or divorced or living a lie that you so desperately needed out of. 

I have lived and I have learned. 

I have learned that I am terrible at stress. I over analyze way too often. I worry way too much what everyone else thinks. I absolutely hate confrontation and having someone else mad at me could literally drive me mad. Usually at least. However, I have also learned that it's okay to feel these things as long as I keep it all in check. Stress is inevitable, but turning it down a few notches is absolutely necessary and needed in my case. Some days being grateful for this life is harder than I wish it to be but I am so thankful I'm not where I could be. I have this future that is so far up in the air that gives me the biggest smile. I get to travel the world, I get to meet new people, I get to create new experiences with people who aren't any bit concerned with a past that I try so often to forget. I am thankful I am living the life God has planned for me and He has the greatest things in store. I live, I learn and I have so much more to live and to learn. It's a new chapter that I look forward to writing about. 23 days until the big move. 

The White House updates

I know, I know. Updating this little white house while trying to start a new life path probably wasn't the most rational decision, but it couldn't have turned out better. The color is the same we used in the den. What started out as mustard yellow is now Gray Screen by Sherman Williams, two coats did the trick. For everything else, my roommate and I knocked that out one afternoon with a few quick stops to World Market and Target. So many people have helped and continue to help do that, so thank you. The roommate and I were pretty pleased with the results. No matter the state I end up working in, I love that I'll always get to call this place home. 

this last picture is the before. 

Officially official.

This past Monday my recruiter and I started sending in my files to different hospitals. In other words, I was applying to my future jobs! I'm impatient to say the least. I get frustrated. I want things to happen in an instant. I am a nurse by day, aunt to the 4 coolest kids under 7, dog mom to 2, but my patience just hasn't grown with any of these things. I learned a long time ago it was a virtue, not to pray for it because it will be tried in the most horrendous ways, and I will be the first to admit I struggle with it. So a few days after these submissions, I was over it. It was similar to the house buying process...my stepdad/relator said some people looked at hundreds of homes, I assured him that wouldn't be the case with me. My recruiter said it would happen, we just had to wait. My original plan was to head south to Florida. Plans change, and for the first time I was okay with that. Florida didn't have what I was I looking for. By Friday, I decided it wasn't a battle for me to worry about. Checking my phone for possible calls, and refreshing my emails from my recruiter was driving me crazy. I asked God to handle it and He did! My devotional for that day was pretty on point as well. I forget to read it some days but I'm so glad I made time for it this particular morning. I had not 1 but 2 different hospitals call, in the middle of a procedure of course. Usually, I would track someone down and return it immediately. 1. Our Friday was far too crazy for this and 2. I just prayed that God would handle it and hoped I had enough patience to wait until the end of the day. I say all of this to say whatever will be, will really be. God has a plan for us. If I were to have called right back then or in 4 hours, the outcome wasn't going to change. If these hospitals weren't for me I would be okay with that. I don't want to go anywhere just to go, I want to be excited for it. AND I AM EXCITED FOR IT. In a little over a month I'm heading to Texas. I'll be south of Houston. I am anxious, excited, but so grateful that I have this opportunity to travel around the country with my job. I think we are quick to laugh off people's dreams. I've committed the crime more times than I would like to admit. At this point I couldn't imagine sitting with my future family, telling them what I wish I would've done. I know I have almost settled for that life a few times now, but thankfully God stepped in and showed out. Even if we try and don't like it, at least we know we've tried. The countdown is officially on friends! My mom and I will be making the 9+ hour drive in a little over a month. 

A long post. A little update.

6 years ago, I started @ the hospital on the hill. I have a dear friend who works there and he made it clear that if I were to get a job, I better not screw it up. (There's actually the funniest story ever where he thought I had, turns out, they had the wrong Lindsey) So 6 years ago this past June, I started as a patient care assistant on a Medical Surgical floor. I worked part time while I was in nursing school. Let's be real, nursing isn't a glamorous job, nothing about it. I knew that starting as an assistant could only benefit my career and I couldn't respect my fellow nursing assistants any more. They go above and beyond with little incentives. I'm lucky enough to have to worked and trained with some great ones. Nursing school flew by, but not because it was so much fun, but because it was all a blur. You went to class, studied, slept, studied and went back to class. This all happened while trying to hold somewhat of a life together. Needless to say, nursing school won that battle. I probably flipped flash cards in my sleep at that point. We ran on fumes and RedBull. I remember taking the boards like it was yesterday. The hardest test ever. I tell people not to scare them, but to let them know that it is a pretty big deal. I am pretty sure I blacked out because after about 130 questions I blanked, my computer turned blue, or was it gray, and I was done. Everything I worked for, every tear, every RedBull, every flash card sat right there on a computer screen. It was gut wrenching. One day later I was able to add those two letters past my name and I couldn't be more thrilled. We worked our butts off to become RNs. The weight of the world was finally lifted. That's what we thought at least. In June 2011, I started my first nursing job on that same medical surgical floor. The weight grew heavier, more tears were shed, but the knowledge I gained is irreplaceable. I always knew Med Surge wasn't for me, but I suggest it for all new grads. Learning the basics, learning to multi task and learning time management will take you far in your nursing career. After a year on the med surge floor, I transferred to a Cardiac Intensive Care Unit. (CICU) I knew that I wanted to continue my learning and everyday was different, and everyday an adventure. I've seen miracles, I've seen tragedies, and I've seen one of my most favorite patients take their first bite of mashed potatoes after months of being on a ventilator (and I cried). Ive seen patients walk out that doctors have counted out and I have said goodbye to some dear patients whose families still reach out. To make that impact on a complete strangers life is one of the best feelings in the world. Not many understand that. I know that I learn everyday how not to take it all for granted and it really puts life into perspective. I made some forever friends working in CI. It will always be like home to me. I never thought I'd leave but one early mid life crisis later and I moved again. I needed an escape from the reality I couldn't escape from and work was the only way I could do that. Life doesn't go as planned, and that had been thrown straight in my face. My two years in CI was over and I was now a part of the Cath lab. For the first few months, I thought I had made the biggest mistake ever. It wasn't for me. I stuck it out, and over a year later I am so grateful that I did. I never thought I could love anything more than CI, turns out I do. It's a different type of nursing, but I would say it's one of the best jobs to have if you were looking. I'm partial though. We work a little closer with our fellow nurses, radiology/scrub techs and our doctors, it's one big dysfunctional family. They see us on our bad days and at our best because there's really no escaping them. No matter the mood though, they will cheer you up, and they will assure you daily that they have your back against the rest of the hospital. My cath lab crew is honestly some of the smartest people I have ever worked with and teach me daily how to be a better nurse. I'll miss them too though. See, after 6 years I think it's time to do a little something for me. I think it's time to follow a dream I've always talked about but never quite jumped on because something usually held me back. If I woke up tomorrow married with children, I'd have this constant linger of why I didn't take this giant leap. I have dreams, goals and I have plans that far exceed my little white house in the heart of Birmingham. I may hate it after a month and I may not, but at least I'll try. This fall I'm going to start travel nursing. I don't know what my future holds anymore, but traveling the country sounds like a good start. My first assignment will probably be Florida, then maybe California, maybe Tennessee and the list goes on and on. The opportunities are endless. For so long I've let what others think and do affect my choices and it's time to figure this life out on my own for a change. I'm scared, anxious and so excited for the possibilities. I'll keep my house, the pups will come with and I'll always call Alabama home. Now, is just the beginning!

Weeds

I found something I dislike more than cutting grass, and that my friends, would be pulling weeds. I think I loaned the weedEater to my brother, which didn't matter anyways because it was never used. They say you'll only let the weedEater wires hit your ankles once & you won't do it again. I don't want to do it ever, like its a true fear of mine...girl loses her ankles due to a weedEater mishap. It could happen, right? That would end up on the front page of the Birmingham News. I avoid it at all costs. So the other day I just started pulling weeds. I'm pretty sure my skin was on fire because I was itching like a mad woman, the sweat was pouring, and the areas that needed a good weed pulling weren't getting smaller--then a breeze came and hushed up my downer of an attitude. It caught me off guard but it was most welcome in my bout of weed frustration. I let them get that bad and I always find a reason to put it off, like always. I take full blame. Obviously I can compare pulling weeds to this life I live. I put off the important things, dance around the small things & just hope everything either works out or disappears without putting a little elbow grease into it. Although I might be pulling weeds or making these life choices on my own, I'm not really by myself. That breeze was sent to remind me to just soak it in, step back, because it's not as tough as I may make it out to be. Even if it is, God will quickly remind us that He is right there every single step of the way. Whether He is guiding our hearts, minds, or hands,  His love never fails us. I do not like pulling the weeds from my yard or from life, the normalcy is far easier than the unexpected. It's just not as bad as I originally thought. The actual doing the task, yes it was bad...but the end was so worth it. My yard looks worlds better & I'm sure the neighbors appreciate it as well. Now to pull the weeds from this life that keep poking their heads back into my future God and I are so excited about. Stay tuned, life is getting grander by the day. 

Day 21.

So, my 21 days are over (It ended Tuesday May 12) I loved life without social media if I haven't said that enough, and I really haven't decided if I want to reincorporate those things back into my life. So easily, Facebook and Instagram create these personas for people as they seem and not as they really are. That's frustrating coming from an almost 30 year old still trying to track through this big bad world. My house isn't up to date with the newest Pinterest creation, it's not always clean, I'm not always happy, and my dogs haven't seen a bath in weeks. We're okay though and we are taking everyday as it comes because I know that this year holds endless possibilities that I cannot wait to share. It'll be messy, I'm sure, but worth every. single. minute.

10 things I learned in 21 days

1. No social media is way easier than originally thought. After a week or so, it rarely even crossed my mind.

2. Finding out news by word of mouth has its pros and cons. It was exciting when the news was positive, but frustrating when you're the last to know about something that happened a week prior...Maybe that was all for the best.

3. My anxiety decreased a WHOLE lot without social media. I have enough going on without trying to keep up with everyone else as well.

4. More than likely, what happened in our childhood affects how we are today. We can let that control us, or we can turn down the notch a little and be a better person because of it.

5. You can accomplish so much if you just put the phone down.

6. My world will still go round without the daily doings of Facebook and Instagram, and because most people aren't as obsessed as I was, they don't even realize I've been missing for 3 whole weeks. 

7. Blogging is way more fun anyways!

8. Working out before work did not actually kill me as one would think. Getting out of bed isn't that hard but not taking in enough calories will leave you exhausted. EAT. 

9. Memories made without posting them on social media as soon as they happen are just as fun. In fact, it may just be more fun because you're experiencing them with those you love the most anyways. 

10. Stress takes away all of the fun that life can give. Sometimes or most times, snapping ourselves back into a normalcy is needed and welcomed. Life is as we make it... so make it a good one without all the likes and comments from social media. In the end, it's about making yourself happy first and foremost. 

 Try going without social media for a day or so and just spend time with those you love, phone-less. You don't have to chat the whole time or even agree, but I guarantee you will laugh until you almost pee your pants and you will be reminded why you chose your journey to begin with. 

Days 18-20

I say it every year so I'll just keep it going... I can't believe my little bug is SEVEN. I'm just thankful she's still okay with holding hands, sweet kisses, and telling me we're best friends. As each year passes, I love her more. This year she chose to skip a party and go to the American Girl store. My mom, sister and I loaded up her and ReeceAnne and headed to Alpharetta for the night. I'm not sure where that store was when we were growing up, but I know we would've been in heaven just like they were. I can't remember the last time just us girls did any sort of road trip, but we all had a great time. Each day we're reminded that life really is a precious gift and these memories are priceless. Ryleigh's birthday was on Mother's Day this year with my sister's being that Monday. It was a weekend full of celebrations!

Here are a few snaps from our American Girl Store experience.

After the American Girl store, we headed to Atlanta for the Lennox square mall. The day wasn't complete until we tried Sprinkles cupcakes for the first time. They didn't disappoint! 

And on Mother's day we did church and a little lunch, thankful to call her Mom. 

13 days and a craft project

And thirteen days later a chalkboard door was born. For under $22.00, this was a super easy craft project. I've always wanted a chalkboard area and when my roommate and I couldn't keep each other's schedules straight, we decided on this. The paint was from Wal-Mart and just a little over $10.00. It said to apply two coats and to wait 4 hours in between each one. Since this was such a small area, I only waited about an hour. It does say to wait 7 days before we can write on it and although that's a bummer (we were so excited) we can't wait to use it! Without social media, I have been able to really do a few things around the house that the Internet usually distracts me from.

Real Time Post

The wedding vows say it best, speak now or forever hold your peace.

Would you be able to live with holding that peace for forever, or would you constantly live in the what ifs of what you should've said? That should've, would've, could've gets us every time. As we get older, the days, months and years fly by. Everything goes by so fast that I often live in the what ifs of the past. Do you? It's so easy to get stuck there and rehash those memories, leaving us unable to live in the moment. We can't enjoy the now because there's so much we wish would've done then. Let's be real...how many people have to be diagnosed with cancer, how many people do we have to lose, and how many opportunities do we let slip through our fingers before we finally speak up? I don't think it is ever too late to take action.

Some things should live in our past. God took those out for a reason, and those things are better left unsaid. If they weren't good enough to make it to our present, then those what ifs are better left as Thank you Lord for removing those situations. I know that I was too weak to do that one on my own and I'm so grateful He shut that door for me. Everyday that I still relive those memories though, I question His choices and plans, and let's be honest... His plans are so much better. Distinguishing between the two might be a little tricky, but maybe that's where faith comes in.

How many opportunities have you given up for one reason or another only to be wishing a year down the road you know you should've gone through with it? How many people have you let walk out of your life because you made some lame excuse as to why things were better off unsaid? How many people have you lost over the years and you wish you had one more minute to tell them one more thing? I think it's one too many. Today is what God gave me. He literally gave me one more day. Everyday that I wake up I'm more thankful than the day before, because in this world, not everyone has that. So often, we take it all for granted, myself included. Instead of making the why not turn into what ifs, we should just jump...take the leap of faith that scares us to death and speak up. 

Seven days

It has been one whole week since I purged out all social media. I really feel like my anxiety and stress have decreased a ton. A few times this past week I've had to hear by word of mouth updates on friends and family and it's been so exciting. I might be the last to know but it's been fun to hear the old fashion way. I think so many people live this life on Facebook that might not necessarily be who or what they are. I always felt that it added so much pressure to my daily living and trying to live up to what everyone else expected. That was tough and frustrating and most days, unrealistic. I can post my pictures here without Instagram making them prettier and I can update my statuses here whenever and however I feel. I'm not competing with anyone because my blog is just for me. My life is far from perfect and I've blogged about it for years now. I try to show every side of me because there's a lot. 

And today I woke up and did a beach body work out prior to work for the first time ever. Not just this workout, but any in general. I love my sleep, it's the first thing I think of when I wake up in the morning... Man, I can't wait to come back here. So, this morning I woke up and worked out. Sore is an understatement but it made the rest of the day so much better. I'm not sure it'll be a habit but maybe I can incorporate it in here and there. 

5

Painting happened on day FIVE. I've been wanting to paint since I moved in a year ago and someone usually talked me out of it. I've never painted more than a wall but I figured with a few friends we could knock it out. I'm going gray, but just one room at a time to keep it from getting too overwhelming. I used Gray Screen by Sherman Williams and I love the way it turned out. Since my house is small I'm going to paint every room the same color (to make it look bigger) and I'm excited to see how each room looks.

Day 5 night was the dreaded 10 year reunion. I'll start off by saying I don't even feel like I've been out of high school long enough to be going to one. The time has flown by and it really makes you reflect how far you've come and how much further you get to go. It was surprisingly so much fun to see everyone again. We had it at rooftop bar/restaurant downtown and the weather was great. Everyone has changed so much but we picked up right where we left off.

Orlando was my football player in HS during homecoming week. (I decorated his locker, all the fun things you do during homecoming week) Anna & Alex have been together since junior year, and are still as cute as ever. The bottom picture is some of the girls I cheered with throughout HS, although we were missing a few, and sweet little Austen is a future cheerleader. 

And on the third day

Day 3.

Nothing like your 3rd day without social media then Facebook sending an email saying you have 9 new notifications. 9 notifications that I turned off 3 days ago. Thank you Facebook. With a quick swipe to the left, all was deleted and day 3 was fairly uneventful. I will say that although my work day was busy, my mind would often want to focus on social media. In no means do I want to relate this addiction to something like cigarettes or alcohol but my mind would say, just once and then you'll keep going. That would ruin my streak though! I've only come 3 days but that's 3 days longer than I've gone in 10 years. It'll be worth it. I'll never be able to resolve what needs resolving if I keep stepping backwards.

And on day 4 I finally did a little yard work. Seriously though, they shouldn't make the houses so cute when you're looking at buying them. Maybe have the grass a little tall and the garbage cans full and dog hair everywhere, because that'd be my house. I'm so thankful for my little white house, but I didn't take in much consideration for the yard before the big purchase. I need fake pretty grass that never grows or a yard person who is free and comes biweekly. On day 4, I didn't think much of social media although going without it might be making me more mean. This week in general has been more busy than usual so I'll place the blame there too. The whole social media purge really hasn't been terrible so far. If I don't know what's going on, I can't stress over it. 

Out of sight out of mind they say.

And again

{another disclaimer: These blogs to follow were written in the consecutive days after April 20th. Again, I just wanted to write for a while before I started posting. }

Day 2.

 The social media thing was a breeze on day 1. Work was busy so that left little time for anything else. I did notice that every time I back out of a text message from my phone, my fingers would go straight to where the social media apps used to be. Terrible, I know. The life of an addict. I'm very sure the next few days won't be as easy but as long as I keep busy and take it one day at a time, then I can do it. The food thing, well that hasn't happened yet. I like being busy, but it leaves little time for a grocery store run or an hour at the gym. I'll get there!I did manage a grocery list from the foods that the 21 day fix suggested. I am a fairly picky eater, but there were so many options that my list wasn't as bad as I had planned. See. 

 On another note, I met my sweet niece's class at the zoo today. I'm so excited that I get to make these memories with all of my nieces and nephews. My hope is they always remember them. As you can see, she is not a fan of the camera. Ryleigh made it clear from the beginning of the day absolutely no pictures. 

Update: I made it to the grocery store! AHH I was so excited to finally have a few extra hours to myself that wasn't me washing my face and rolling into bed. Day 2 was a good one. 

Until next time. 

Life-Tox

{disclaimer: The actual day 1 was April, 20, 2015. I wanted to really take everything in before I started posting again. I didn't write every single day, but you will catch a few posts here and there.}

Day 1.

I'm not sure what will be harder...going without social media for the next 21 days (or longer) or actually staying on social media for the next 21 days. They say it takes 21 days to make a habit. It has become a rather unhealthy relationship. So instead of trying to make it work, we rid it from our lives. People quit smoking cold turkey, I can do this. It just gets to be too much when it's the last thing you do before you go to bed and the first thing you do when you wake up...then you check it again. I don't want to wake up wondering what's going on in my social networks, I just want to roll out of bed because I'm 100% sure I've just hit the snooze 5 times. I can do things that are good for my soul, like writing again. I can even mow the yard without instagramming about it. I also want to paint and I've put it off since I've moved in because I was the only one who wanted to do it. I'll probably be throwing myself off the high dive without any swimmies trying to tackle this paint job by myself, but I'm hopeful I'll bring in backup by the end of it. All I'm saying is I have to do for me. Life is way too short to live it in the hopes that people will ever be who they used to be. People change and as bad it just sucks, we grow apart and sometimes we even want different things. Instead of forcing this world to go round, it's time for me to take a huge leap of faith and love me for a little while. I was originally going to write live for me, but my phone autocorrected that to love. I think I'll stick with love. So, for the next 21 days (or longer) you may just catch a blog from me. What you won't catch, is a cute snapchat of my pups or a pretty picture on Instagram of my sweet little nieces or nephews. You can find those right here. I'm calling this my little life-tox. (That's courtesy of an awesome book called, It's Called a Breakup Because it's Broken. They suggested a he-tox so I'm going to take it a little further). Detox all that stresses me out or that's just not healthy. That comes with eating too. I wouldn't necessarily call myself a terrible eater but when Taco Bell is a staple, it's time to remember that my metabolism went out the window when I paid for my dreaded 10 year HS reunion. Where in the world has the time gone? I'm going to start this 21day fix with a shakeology plan to jumpstart this new life-tox. Planning is half the battle. Im excited for the challenges and excited to see the results. I'll do my best to keep up with it via the blog. 

Stay tuned friends.

Its' been a year...

Happy One yearAvesary to the little white house and me...actually it was built in the 50's but we came together one year ago today. So much has happened this past year and I've learned a lot about being a first time home buyer. I've learned that the grass and everything outside will die if not watered regularly. With that being said, I know without a doubt that my niche in life IS NOT gardening. I've learned that keeping the grass under control requires regularly mowing it, something I've grown to tolerate. Bugs don't kill themselves and the garbage will pile up until you, yourself take it outside. Dog hair accumulates like rapid fire and shaving both dogs bald has crossed my mind more than once. The cleaning never stops and some air filter has to be changed every few months. Over the course of a year, my little white house has hosted parties, a few grill nights, one new roommate and her little white cat. It even housed the largest dragonfly I have ever seen that was stuck. THANK THE LORD for my sweet mom who saved that day. The white house walls have been painted, nailed, hit while trying to move furniture and heard many of glorious conversations. This year has been a true roller coaster but we've grown so much. I'm so thankful I took it one day at a time, because I really do love this place I get to call home every single day. Happy one whole year!

Kimbo here is my stepdad, who was brave enough to also be my realtor. Without him and my parents this past year, I probably wouldn't have made it at all. Love them dearly. You can find Kimbo, along with my brother, here or here.