Wednesday, June 9, 2010

TWO feet on the ground.

I have moved 5 times in the last 5 years, went to 2 different schools, had 5 jobs (1 of of almost a year that I hope to have for a very long time), and constantly trying to figure out what I'm going to do next. Its a constant maze with hidden turns, dead ends, and moves that could take you somewhere so unexpected. And normally when I do a maze, I like to start at the end and work my way backwards. In life, you cant really do that. I have to take what life gives me. There is no cheat sheet and no answer on page 72. I don't write for any sort of pity, I write because sometimes I feel like my phone (where I write mostly everything) is the only thing that understands me. I write because sometimes its the only constant I have. Although I have gone through more phones than even I can remember, they have always been my escape, they have always held my secrets and my stories. Sure the world is always turning, it never stops, and changes are ever present. But I would do so much for a little stability. For a small constant. I think when I graduate, which is less than a year away, I will be able to create something like that for myself. I really couldn't even tell you what something like feels like or even what something like that is, but I know I will try. I am always thinking about my future. Sometimes it gets me in trouble, maybe I get too carried away with everything that I envision and sometimes it is a little overboard. I suppose a Mercedes G-Wagon, 4 children, a house on the beach, and an annual trip to Disney World is asking too much. One thing is for sure. I want a constant and stable life. I want both feet on the ground. Hope that isn't too much to ask in this crazy, totally unstable world.

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