Happy

I was informed my blogs were getting a little too sad, sappy, and needed to be happy. Well what is happy. Is happy not crying or is happy laughing with a big smile on your face. I cry a lot when I am happy, more when I am sad, but nonetheless. What makes you happy? Sometimes we get so caught up in everything around us, we forget to step back and remember that we have to be happy too. You really will have a hard time pleasing anyone until you are truly happy with yourself. Think about it. You please, and please, and you comfort and you give. Well are you happy with that, is that what really, deep down, whole heartedly makes you happy. I hope so. I would hate to go through all of that and not be happy about it. So what makes you happy.

Music makes me happy. When I am down, I can turn on a good john mayer tune and calm all of my nerves. I can put an old classic on repeat, sing my heart out, and remember that I am happy, or have all the reasons in the world to be.
My niece makes me happy. Her laugh could light up the room. Hearing 'I love you Sissy' quite possibly makes me the happiest person in the world. Just a quick little kiss reminds me that I should never be not happy.
Passing my classes makes me happy. The nervousness mixed with excitement knowing that graduation is slowly approaching makes me beyond happy that I will finally have accomplished my goals. I will finally be a nurse
The beach makes me happy. Not because I am less than 30 minutes away from all the white gloriness we call sand, but something about the breeze, and the sound of the ocean rushing to its breaking point. That makes me happy. All you can eat shirmp cooked anyway you want, daiquiris that are ever overflowing, and the constant breeze reminds me that there is no happier place in the world tied for 2nd with disney world of course.
Disney World makes me happy. Nothing like putting on my minnie mouse ears with my mom and parading around magic kingdom like I just celebrated my 5th birthday. I meet Cinderella and I feel as if my whole world is complete. And she is nothing compared to Minnie Mouse.
I could go on and on with a list of things that make me happy. These aren't my top 5 or any in order, just a few. My family, friends, and favorite boy are way up there too. No I am not always happy. I do need a good cry every now and then. But I always try to start the day off wit a smile. You never know who might need it. :)

blogging, backgrounds, and beaches

If you have been checking my blog this morning than you might have noticed the thousands of times I have changed my background. Sorry. I am just trying to find something that I like, then you have to change the fonts and what nots to match it. Well, I am leaving for the beach TODAY, this afternoon, in less than FIVE HOURS! I could not be more excited because when I get home, it will be back to the world of nursing. YIKES. So if I don't update my blog, I am sorry. Then again, I wont be to sorry because I will be on the beach, toes in the sand, book in the hands! I will have plenty to post when I get back. And lots of pictures. So long for now.

Just a thought

I have been contemplating starting another blog. Although I have shared a few on here, I have written a lot of poems. I think close to 100. I find it easiest to write when I am down and out and feeling kind of blue. Call me crazy, but when my emotions are flowing, I start writing. With that being said, I don't want to share poems that aren't too happy on here all the time. Then again, maybe I will. Maybe Ill make one day out of the week a day for me to share another one of my poems. Not today though. Tonight is TV show night.

"you can turn off the sun but im still gonna shine" - jason mraz

JOY

JOY comes with knowing that today was my LAST day of work for the week.
JOY comes with knowing that tomorrow I will get to sleep in.
JOY comes with knowing that tonight I will get watch my favorite shows.
JOY comes with knowing that I am leaving for the beach Thursday.
JOY comes with knowing that I have an amazing/supportive family.
JOY comes with knowing that I have some pretty awesome friends.
JOY comes with knowing that today a patient gave me a wooden angel, its the little things.
JOY comes with knowing that today a little girl is recovering wonderfully from her open heart surgery.

JOY comes with knowing that today I couldn't be more thankful.

Highway 20 Ride

"So when you drive And the years go flying by I hope you smile If i ever cross your mind It was a pleasure of my life And i cherished every time And my whole world It begins and ends with you On that Highway 20 ride...." - Zac Brown Band.

Maybe this is a forbidden topic, but it is something that I don't mind talking about because it is a part of my life. Its not a bad thing, its just what happened. If you know and love this song like I do, then you know that it is talking about divorce. I remember the day like it was yesterday. My parents had my brother and sister and me sit on the couch for a family talk, and we didn't have those often. I was in the 2nd grade and I didn't fully understand what was going on, but I knew that it was a change, a big change. At the time though, I knew I had to be upset because my brother and sister were. But at the time I had no idea the impact it would have on my life. First things first, I see BOTH of my parents whenever and wherever I want. ALWAYS HAVE. I talk to my mom and dad both on a regular basis and have a wonderful relationship with both. I know that choices had to be made, and although I may never understand I will always support. I will always LOVE. I have/had a wonderful loving upbringing with two very supportive and caring parents. This song just takes me back to when I didn't know what was quite going on, but knew that everything was different. I suppose the stories we always hear about when we hear the word divorce aren't too positive. One of the parents is out of the picture and the children have a tough life ahead them. Mine wasn't like that and still isn't. But all too often I forget to remember how much my parents do for me. Have always done for me. I forget to say thank you. So thank you. I don't know why I wanted to write this post. I suppose it was because I heard this song earlier and I thought about my daddy. (in a good way, it brings back memories from when i was younger, and some of the things we went through after the divorce) All too often I forget to remember how much he does for me, and forget to remember that he rarely says no. I dont want to write about him with such a downer of a post but a few weeks ago, back when I had the 3 Happy Birthday/Mother's Day posts, he texted me and said he couldn't wait for his father's day post. So that is what I did. He didn't think I could come up with a top 10 list of things. Even though I know I could, I wrote something else instead. I would love to wait until father's day but because I already wrote it, I would like to share it in this post. I will forever be thankful for everything that my parents have done and sacrificed for me. I will always remember. So here it is and sorry I am not waiting until fathers day. I don't like surprises or waiting for something. Id rather share it when its ready. And sorry for the 2 poems back to back but its for my dad.

Once upon a time

I found your hand and held on tight

You looked at me so softly

It was a love at first sight

A little pink blanket

Snuggled up to you

Tickled me with your kisses

And said you loved me too

Sing your little lullaby

And put me right to bed

Hold me in the mornings

And always be my friend

Chase me around the playground

And push me on the swings

Put me on your shoulders

So I could see everything

Traveling to the softball park

Where you stood anxiously in the stands

You were my number one supporter

And always my biggest fan

I wasn't your favorite driver

But you never missed your turn

To let me take a spin

In your Ford Thunderbird

You watched me walk across the stage

And into my first place

But were always at a phone calls reach

And never too far away

From you Ive learned to do what's right

And to always do your best

I have learned you are the strongest man

And you have shown me nothing less

One day you will walk me down another path

But you will always be right beside me

Ill always be your scooter

And Ill forever be your baby.

the YELLOW house

FIRST AND FOREMOST, the green house is no longer green, its YELLOW. SAD DAY. okay.

This post is kind-of a PS to the last one, or really just that last paragraph. I was/still am a huge lover of pictures and my walls were literally covered in them at school. So I often find myself looking at them and reminiscing all of the fun we had. Sometimes I have to look at the pictures to remember what we did. Then sometimes I look at them just to remember all that was back then. I chose this picture because #1 it has included some of my favorites and #2 if you look in the background you can see my pictures on my walls. 3 out of the 4 of them looked just like that, and i loved just sitting and looking at my pictures. So back to why I am writing this post. One day after I moved home, I was feeling kind of down and got out my box of pictures. I wrote this poem in the process and decided to share it today. It doesn't have a title but here it is.

Looking back at the old
Trying to take it all in
But its getting harder to breathe
Because the times I don't want to end

The pictures say it all
And it takes my breath away
Where have the years gone too
Slowly Im fading, day by day

My heart belongs back there
Im empty without it here
Everything inside is crashing down
Im losing it all, sadly I fear

Searching for what's inside
Knowing it is nowhere in sight
I just want to get back to that place
Where everything felt right

I don't know who I am
Because Ive lost everything I ever had
The pictures are the only memories
From the times I long for in my past.

I got friends in low places

Is one of my all time favorite songs to sing at karaoke. Just another song to remind me of everything that has been, everything that was college. I'm still in college but nothing is like it used to be. Some people are here, some are there, and the others are married with babies...or just married. I wasn't a huge fan of high school, although I had/have a very small group of friends that I still keep in touch with, the other majority of high school was just a nightmare. Maybe ill share that story one day. Or maybe not. I was pretty naïve, still am somedays, but college

really broke that shell...in a good way of course. Okay back to college. I absolutely loved living in Tuscaloosa, being a full time college student, and having the world at my fingertips. And the friendships I made are worth far more than other experience I went through before college.

Freshman year: ill always remember this year as the year that I met my roomies, my best friends, and my soul mates. I lost some loves, but gained far more that I will always be grateful for. I didn't have a care in the world, and that saying "college is where you find your true friends" really is the truth. I can pinpoint each time/place I met one of my great friends. I learned a lot freshman year, but mainly the people who you thought you knew you're entire life aren't really who they say they are... And that is okay, we are all in a better place now because of it I suppose. Trust didn't come as easily that year, but that too is something I've grown to learn how to do. I made some pretty strong decisions that year that I whole heartedly believe changed who I was and who I thought I was going to be. Freshman year was an incredible beginning for me. As much as I would love to go back and say what was really on my heart, I wouldn't change the experiences for anything. I'm here today because of them. this picture pretty much sums up mine and laurens relationship. it wasn't halloween.
Sophomore and Beyond:During that freshman year I met 2 pretty awesome girls. My roomies for life is what I like to call them, and the next 2.5 years were by far some of the absolute greatest times of my life. We all know football is huge at UA and living within walking distance of that stadium made football season that much sweeter. Just a few blocks down from that beloved stadium stood the cutest little green house. The kind you would find over looking the ocean, ours overlooked the stadium. For us that was okay too. It was lime green, full of spunk, and the doors were always open. No invitations were needed, and gatherings were held there on a pretty regular basis.Although we 3 girls went to high school together, they were best buds and still are, we didn't really start hanging out until college. All 3 of us are pretty different but meshed really well. Whitney's eye for fashion (any and all sorts) is very eccentric but I absolutely love her for it, and love it. She was the cleanest of us 3 and had her beloved vinnie that was bff with my minnie (those were our vw bugs). Now miss Lauren was our tiedyed wearing, hippy loving, arsty roommate that had a closet any girl would kill for. I think we all had a bit of an artsy side to us that brought us all that much closer. We understood eachother, what we were doing, and were normally right beside one another when we were doing it. Lauren always said I was the weird one (in the nicest way possible)... I do have some pretty strange quirks... I am kinda goofy, sometimes artsy, a little out-there, but always had the perfect song for when we needed it. :) I think that pretty well sums up my roomies. Each one of them one would drop whatever they were doing to be wherever I needed them to be, and each one means the world to me. Some of my favorite memories have always been us laying in one of our beds the morning after one of our long nights out divulging in the mishaps, loud laughs, and spilt drinks from the night before. Those stories I will forever remember, no matter how awful the night might have been. We more than likely got a major laugh out of it. Those 2 years had many other great memories. A lot of people came through that front door, a lot of tears were shed under that roof, and relationships were born around that kitchen table. Lauren and Whitney taught me so much about life, love, and happiness those 2 years...and that's a major understatement. Ha. and in true Whitney fashion. AND yes we had blown up pictures of our faces hanging up behind our couch.
Beyond:We moved out of the green house on a warm sunny day, and it hadn't hit me that our time as college students, living our dreams, were slowly coming to an end. I moved to a one bedroom apt, started nursing school that fall, then moved back home that christmas. In one short year, my world was turned around backwards and upside down and I often just sat and wondered what happened to it all? It went by faster than I could ever imagine.
I met several other people that I still keep in contact with on a regular basis but for now I just wanted to talk about my roomies and how awesome they are and the 3 years before the drama of nursing school started. I love talking about college and how it made me who I am today. Ill always hold the memories so very tightly.

this picture was from 4th of july a few years back. love it. and had to put it up since im leaving for the beach thursday.

Heart of the Matter

The FIFTH Emily Giffin book has made its appearance...I made a comment in a recent post about waiting for it to come out. My friend CA texted me the other day and said that she had already bought it and couldn't wait for me to read it, I could NOT AGREE MORE! Emily Giffin is a wonderful author. Her stories aren't very out of the ordinary or widely popular, but to me they are in inspiration. The way she writes has shown me that I could write my own book, CRAZY, but I actually started writing a book back a couple of years ago. I think I will be finished when I graduate college. We will see. Her books are just easy readers, with even better stories, and I can't wait to get my hands on it. It will be nice resting in my little fingers while I am sipping on my daquiri at the beach next week! Just a few more days!

Its days like today

that make me want to pull my hair out, and its days like today that make me question my sanity and my patience. Its days like today that make me question why I ever wanted to be a nurse and in the health field all together. My shift starts at 7, and I was non-stop until 3. I might have sat down for 30 minutes the entire day. Today must have been fire alarm testing day, and did you know that it takes 4 and 1/2 hours to test the alarm and the air conditioner stops working. Its just days like today that make me wonder why. I love all of my patients dearly but there are always a few who push your buttons in just a little further. But its days like today when I have to step back and remember that they too are someone's aunt, uncle, grandparent, mom or dad, brother or sister... so its days like today when I'm very thankful that I can be there in their times of trouble. Its days like today that remind why I love nursing so much and why I can't wait to be finished. Its days like today when I have patients who are well above their 90's and still live by themselves and are fuller than life. They tell jokes, get tickled when you touch under their arms, and are more grateful than ever when you stand in their room an extra minute just to chat. So its days like today when I count my blessings, love my a/c in my car, and
remember why I chose to be a nurse.

Hey Soul Sister...

Song of the month - hey soul sister - train and american honey - lady A
My go-to outfit - comfy shorts, an oversize t-shirt, and my worn in tevas
If you happen to find me out you will find me in- skinnies, a blousy/flowy shirt, flats, and my favorite rings.
On my ipod you will catch me playing-words with friends... My username is lablackburn.
Show to watch - the hills!!! Final season. Sorry I'm one of those suckers for reality tv kinds of people
When I'm not in school you will find me- hanging with the fam or with my favorite boy...which isn't often because school has me hostage for the next year
Books I love to read- Emily Giffin of course... Just waiting on the 5th one. Fun fact (or odd) if its got a romantic little plot, which a lot do, then I will glimpse/skim through the last chapters and if this couple is not still together then I will not read the book. Call me crazy, but I will not waste my time putting my heart and soul into this story line for my heart to be broken. Oh and surprises are not for me. Sorry.
A song that will forever have my heart- element- matthew mayfield... Check him out. Love him
In my car you will find- books by the dozens, my bag for work, cds, sunglasses, and my carseat for my little
My closet is- color coordinated... Just wish I could keep everything else that neat
My next purchase- maybe a swimsuit... Beach next week! Or some scrubs for work
My go to feeling like I could rule the world song - fearless by colbie callait
Something I'm always craving - the sunshine
I can't wait - to graduateeeee!
If I am in school and not studying you will probably catch me- SNOOZING. Can't get enough of that these days.

Someone I miss - MY ROOMIES FROM TTOWN!!! I don't get to see them enough but love them dearly.

lauren, whitney, me.

Just a few

random pictures from a month or so back. the one up top is kyle, me, lu, tobey (lab), and buddy (german shepard)...everyone is looking but little miss too cool. the one in the middle is the same day at oak mountain state park, and the last one is me and lu before i got her summer hair cut. we like to take the pups out there to hike, so very relaxing! well today i started day ONE of seven days of work before we leave for the beach. i can't wait.

OHHHH by the way.

besides me having the hardest time posting that last post (this computer was being goofy), i went to walmart today to retrieve my items for my "lemonade detox." WARNING, this post will be in-depth and slightly uncomfortable to some...to me, it was just humorous. The ingredients were simple: freshly squeezed lemon juice, organic maple syrup, water, and cayenne pepper...and yes CAYENNE PEPPER. I even got a cute water bottle to put my "LEMONADE" in and a lemon juicer/squeezer. I was more than excited to get home and try it. I don't know what made me believe that this stuff would taste like actual lemonade... maybe the NAME!!!!! NO WAY, NO MAM! NUMBER ONE, the color was that of concentrated urine. I work in a hospital, see this color urine all the time and it does NOT LOOK TEMPTING. NUMBER TWO, the smell was just as unpleasant. NUMBER THREE, it was hot as fire and i do not care for hot stuff. I KNOW, I KNOW, the cayenne pepper... but i didn't think i would really be able to feel my throat ripping with pain as the pepper passed down it. and NUMBER FOUR, the taste was horrible! i put the little cup up to my lips, squinted my nose, and perched my lips in disgust...then took a sip. i withheld from gagging all the while my throat was on fire. NEEDLESS TO SAY, so long lemonade... i didn't even taste the lemons. and hello... GYM. so if anyone wants my recommendations for the famous lemonade detox, DON'T do it...its not for the faint of hearted.

The little things

Q: why did the 6 run away from the 7?

Well if you happen to watch Playhouse Disney, then I am almost positive you know this fun little joke. I don't remember what episode we were on or how many my niece and I had watched, but I seemed to be enjoying them just as much as her. Or maybe I was enjoying the enthusiasm and excitement in her face when they played the hot dog song at the end of every episode. The little things are what seem to make me smile the biggest, and are too often the things that go unnoticed.

If you happen to know me, even for a day, then you know how much my heart still contains that inner child thing. I still get excited when I hear the ice cream truck, see a Disney World commercial, and even the thought of actually meeting Minnie Mouse makes my heart flutter with giddiness. I try to not let the little things go unnoticed but I too am often guilty of missing out on the pleasure of the little things

As our worlds turn faster each and everyday, we seem to forget the things that actually once made us happy. See, my mom is a pre-school special education teacher and has several children who will never experience the simplest of pleasures in this lifetime. One in particular just pulls at my heart strings each time I get to see her. On this particular day, this little 5 year old friend was laying on her belly. (She suffered a TBI >traumatic brain injury< as an infant). So there she was laying on her belly and she began raising her head then trying to roll over. A simple task for most, but to her, another stepping stone and another defying the odds moment. Although we may take great pleasure in our child, niece, or nephew rolling over... We quickly forget the joy its brought to us because a greater something has taken its place. For her there may not be a greater task but to her and to all of us watching that day it was the greatest. In life we seem to forget the simple things. We seem to forget the joys that they can bring to our never ending, hectic, always going lives.

The joy I receive when I see my niece or nephew accomplish something new is something I will never forget, even it is just a simple smile. Because for that moment, it made me the happiest person in the world to see it.

Ohhh the answer.... But a quick reminder of the question:
Why did the 6 run away from the 7?
A. Because the 7 8 9. :)

to lemonade or NOT to lemonade...

So I was reading this blog and came across this "master detox" called the lemonade detox. It is where you drink 6-8 glasses of lemonade (a special recipe) for 8-10 days or longer and it is supposed to cleanse/rid your body of toxins, chemicals, negativity, etc. etc... Not to mention, flush you out COMPLETELY... like a metabolic re-boost! It might even help me lose a little bit of weight...that is always nice. I am going to the beach in TWO weeks so just a little toning up would be good. EITHER way, I can't wait to go to the beach. But with good comes bad, so I have been reading about the negatives as well. If i happen to start, i will do it soon, and I will let everyone know of the outcome. HAPPY MONDAY!

MASTER reset

This morning I noticed my phone had cut itself off, and it would NOT turn back on. I took out the battery, messed with the sim card, but nothing worked. So after my 25 minute conversation with at&t, (my phone had decided to turn back on at this point) they suggested I set my phone back to the factory settings. At first, I was a little hesitant. I keep a lot of my writings on my phone and hadn't had a chance to save them yet. Not to mention a years worth of pictures and saved messages and videos. (I keep my writings in a book) My phone has been freezing up on me a lot lately so I knew it would be best to just go ahead and do the reset. So that's what we did, the master reset. Sometimes I wish life had that button. We could just push it when we find ourselves into something we shouldn't be, or if we just couldn't find our way out. But maybe we are given that button, and maybe its the snooze button (for most of us anyway). Doesn't that button start are day off every morning? Well each day is a brand new beginning with a clean slate and a fresh start. It is our very own master reset. So just like with my phone, ill take this day and make it my very fresh start. I needed some new writings anyway. :)

Today is the day that the Lord hath made,

And I am beyond glad and rejoicing in it! Today starts my official summer break (3 whole weeks and 5 whole days). I even recieved an email from my teacher today that read, "orientation Friday, June 4 @ 830". To be honest, I have never been more excited about such an email. For now, I will enjoy sleeping in just a little later, not stressing over a test coming up, and just enjoying the sunshine. God is so good.

life doesn't get much sweeter than this.

FAIR (choices)

1.Fair- free from bias, dishonesty, or injustice: a fair decision; a fair judge. 2. A carnival with endless rides, cotton candy, and nonstop fun. Although the majority of my life seems like a non stop carnival ride, I wouldn't always assume it was fair. In our eyes, life isn't always fair. Our phone dies when we are expecting an important phone call, we run out of gas with 2$ in our bank account, and we are sitting out of a graduation that we were supposed to be a part of. Now that's what I call unfair. Or maybe its just life. Here's a quote for thought-" life is all about the choices...when you cut out all of the junk all you have left is a choice...you choose how you react to situations...you choose how people affect your mood...bottom line...it's your choice how you live your life...attitude, after all, is everything." Its not a quote I have written but definitely something I like to live by. Life is all about the choice, and the choices we make are what decide our future, decide our destinations. So with that, life is only as fair as we make it. Although we may not know our outcome, the majority of our choices that put us in those places come from our decisions. So how are we to decide if it is fair or not? Yes my phone has died when I really didn't need it to. I have even ran out of gas the same day I got my first ever speeding ticket with hardly any money in my bank account, and I am supposed to be graduating tomorrow! However, the choices I made... Like not charging my phone when I was supposed to, going to fast, or not paying attention to my gas light put me in those situations... We all know I studied my butt off to pass that class but maybe that choice wasn't up to me. I chose to not take summer classes freshman and sophomore year of college in fear of missing out on a social life, and at one point or another I have chosen facebook over studying. Life isn't always going to be fair. Its only going to be what you make it, and you're only going to make it if you know and make the choices that are best and right for you. Obviously we won't know the outcomes, ill leave that to God. I do know the choice, and I do know that in my heart I should be sitting front and center at graduation but for now it will just be front and center of the audience cheering my little heart out for all of those walking. This has been something that been glooming over my head lately. I suppose because graduation is tomorrow, but it is also something I have come to terms with, or attempting to. I can't question why these outcomes have occurred, only acknowledge them for what they are and know life isn't always going to be fair. So I trust in God and know that my choice today is to be proud of my accomplishments and to be so happy for all of my buddies graduating tomorrow. Happy graduation!

Happy Birthday

to my sister, my best friend, and someone who means the absolute world to me. most days we are pretty opposite. I wear skinnies and short dresses, she is a little more simple and chic. I'm tall and she is not so tall, but I have always looked up to her. Maybe I have never told her, but my world would be incomplete without her. We weren't always as close, in fact, we have had some pretty bitter fights. I suppose that's just life with a big sister. As I have gotten older, I have realized just how important my sister is to me. I don't just love her this much because she has my favorite niece, I love her this much because even if she doesn't quite understand me or the decisions that I have made, she supports those decisions, reassures me that everything will be okay, and loves me through it all. So happy birthday to my sister and my best friend, I hope one day I am half the mom and person you have become. 143.

happy HAPPY birthday

to the sweetest, most beautiful little blue-eyed girl in the entire world.

I never really knew a love could be so strong for someone so small, but you proved me wrong. 2 years ago this very day we were so very anxiously awaiting your arrival. We guessed and made bets, but none of us could have ever imagined someone as perfect as you. Your smile melts my heart, and your laugh is contagious. Your kisses are my favorite and your love of minnie mouse warms my soul. I can't believe I have you to call my niece. Sweet girl, I will forever be by your side and you will forever have my heart. i love you.

happy MOTHER'S day.

today we celebrate mother's day. even though i could name 1million+ things that i love about my mom, i will give you ten.

10. she is the strongest, most couragious person i know.

9. she is also one of the sweetest and most caring.

8. she would give the shirt off of her back to anyone who needed it.

7. i love that she loves the summer and the beach just as much as i do.

6. she is right beside me at disney world with matching minnie mouse ears.

5. she understands me when no one else does and is always on my side.

4. her uncanny ability to mumble through each and every song on the radio, but always catch the last lyric.

3. she always sees the glass half-full, no matter the circumstance.

2. she loves me.

1. her love for others in undeniable and something i will always hold closest to my heart.

so HAPPY HAPPY mother's day to all of the mothers out there! love you.

my life as of right NOW

I guess something I have yet to talk about is the dreaded NURSING SCHOOL. I am in the 2nd semester, and more thankful than ever to be here. I know that when I finish it will totally be worth it. No one can ever prepare you for the sacrifices you must produce in order to complete such a program. I cherish every moment with my family and friends because I know that it might be weeks or months before I see them again. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE NURSING SCHOOL, and CANNOT WAIT TO BE A NURSE... but the struggles to become a nurse have been far more than I could have ever imagined. See, I graduated high school in 2005, and back then my plan was to already be married and graduated by now. Some things we should just leave to God, and I know that He is the reason I am here right now. I live my life by the simple quote, "everything happens for a reason," and have for quite some time. I may never know the reason something happens, but I do know that I am beyond questioning those reasons. I do not think it is for me to ever understand, so I will leave the planning up to Him. Back then, I had my entire life figured out, I passed every class, and had dreams bigger than the stars in the sky. I still have those dreams, some of my life is figured out, and the other is when my nightmare began. See, highschool was a doozy, and the first 3 years of college weren't too bad either, but nursing school was on a whole new level. It was first semester 2 years ago this fall, and for the very first time I failed. I failed my class, and inside I felt like I had failed my family, my friends, and everyone around me. I couldn't seem to pick my broken heart up off the ground, but that is what I had to do. It was the only choice I had left. We are taught to hold our head high, but I was far from that. I could barely open my eyes because they were so swollen from all of the tears. From there, my world went into a downward spiral. I no longer had control and felt like my entire being had been stolen right beneath my feet. For months, I grieved and I questioned...I had studied harder than I had ever studied for that class, but obviously God had other plans. Although it took some time to do so, I have learned a lot from my first failed class. I know that I may never know His reasons but what He wants is all that matters. I know that I have met some of the greatest people this time around in nursing school, and I know that there are far worse things in the world than failing a class, and for that I am grateful.

Nothings sweeter than SUMMERTIME...

And American honey. Well I do not really care for honey, but I love summertime. Honey is a little too thick and a lot too sticky. Summer, on the other hand, is sweet and breezy. My love for summer started long before I was born, I do believe. See, every year, the 3rd week in August, my family goes to Gulf Shores. I have been going since I was in my mama's belly and have loved it ever since. Naps on the beach are like no other, and the perfect ham sandwich always hits the spot. I am normally a turkey sandwich person, but a ham sandwich is hard to pass up on the beach...and a big blue gatorade of course!! Up until a few years ago, we stayed at Emerald Shores in the same beach side/3 bedroom condo. It was like a second home to me, so I was sad when it was sold to the high rises that are slowly taking over our beautiful beach. Pier 33 was our within walking distance grocery store, and being tall enough to finally drive my own go-kart is one of my fondest memories. The fair closed down years ago, and instead of walking to Peir 33, we walk to Sea N Suds atleast twice during our week long stay. These memories will never grow old, only better as new ones are made each year. The thought of summertime makes me giddy inside and actually feeling the sand between my toes is like nothing else. Summer is my safe haven, my christmas morning, and my absolute favorite time of the year. One day I hope to own a house or condo on the beach so I can experience summertime whenever I want to. Thank you summer for finally making your appearance. love you.

sticks and stones

may break my bones and the words always seem to hurt me. It is a part of my personality that I sincerely wish were different. I let what people say and do get to me, and it is very hard for me to let go. Maybe it is a self confidence issue or just a 'me' issue... but definitely an issue I've always had. Sure, everyone gossips now and then and everyone talks, but knowing someone talks about me without knowing me is just hurtful. I guess that is a part of life and something I will always struggle with. Yes, I have a lot of negative qualities... Don't we all? And if you know me, you know those qualities, I wear my heart on my sleeve and my scattered emotions are pretty evident, and the list goes on and on...But those who know me, love me no matter what and beyond all of the negativity. So for that I am thankful.

btw >> my brain is always scattered, always thinking, and normally over-analyzing... but i have decided to share a poem i wrote a while ago... just a little one that kinda fits the mood i am in today. so here goes nothing... its called Yesterday

Let the past be the past

Its the only place it belongs

It was left there for a reason

It should no longer tag along

Let the present be today

For it is the only day that counts

Tomorrow is a new battle

So dont let it bring you down

We live for the future

But have yet to live today

Tomorrow will bring its own troubles

And soon it will be another yesterday.

tal(lula)h belle.

chinese crested powder puff. born 9-11-2007. A spunky little white fluff with a heart of pure sugar. people say their pet's personality is like that of their owners... is that because we are the ones who raise them, wake up every 3 hours when we first get them just to play, and tote them every step of the crazy way. well if that's the case, i could say Lu and I are a lot a like. Her hair is always a little nappy, her love for food is undeniable, and she can always use a good nap. She can be a bit of a brat at times, quite shy to new people, and needs alone time every now and then. She loves being outside, looks goofy with bows in her hair, and getting wet aggravates the mess out of her. My Lu loves to cuddle, loves playing with her friends, and doesn't like being ignored. So in almost every way my little girl and I are very much a like, but I wouldn't have it any other way.

day one...

i would say im new to the blogging world, but im not. my sister has a blog and i follow many blogs religiously. with that being said, i have decided to start my own blog. i have no idea why because my life is pretty busy these days, but i absolutely love writing so this is just another means for me to do so. first things first, im in nursing school, second semester (a 5 semester program) and besides being stressed beyond belief, i love it! i cannot wait to be a nurse and do what i love to do. i do believe i am on the 5 or 6 year program because i was supposed to graduate this may. however, im not graduating until next may. maybe ill get into that fun story later, but for now ill only talk about the good going on. i am the youngest of four + 2. (the two being a brother and sister-n-law) i have the most beautiful niece and nephew in the world who i am completely in love with... i am their "sissy." i talk to my brother and sister everyday, sometimes 3x a day because they are my best friends.... from left to right... bill, jessica, daniel, and me (LINDSEY)

right now i should be studying for my 2 finals coming up, but im just in a writing mood so i am doing this instead.
im hoping one day i will be brave enough to share some of the things that i have written, but for now im just giving you a mini insight to me. im 23, love all things floral, pink, and polka dots. i do not like odd numbers or repetitive noises. i have to drink at least one dr. pepper a day, i have named all 3 of my cars, and have a great love for minnie mouse and cinderella. one day i hope to travel to california and would love to work at st. jude's, but could never move a car ride away from my family. car washes make me nervous and i am totally against taking out the trash. i have a weakness for reality tv, john mayer, and brownies. i do not like bad drivers or negativity, i am obsessed with cupcakes. i have a small little white dog named tallulah. she is my love. <3